Fear itself

I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm not smart enough to survive the airforce. I'm afraid that when I get there, I'll fuck up like I sometimes do. My head aches me. My body is a little worn out. I know I've got to survive on my own now any way and if it's the airforce, it's the airforce I do it in. I am starting to dream again about having a good future for myself and my wife and kids and all that. But I'm afraid that stuff won't happen, then what, I fail, go back to being a loser forever. damn. My head hurts so much. Ok, just baby steps for now. I'm going to go step by step until I'm back to who I want to be. First step being, overcoming my internet addiction. I can't do two things at once, be an airman and be constantly thinking about the internet.

This is goodbye. Forever. Where I'm going, I'm going all the way now.