I'm moving to a new blog. Here's the link. http://deeysew.blogs.linkbucks.com/
I'll still post in this one but the other one I think is a good start. I'll post my thoughts on movies, cartoons, and art. I guess that's what my "forte" is as phaser would say, that bitch. No, just kidding, love ya babe.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Just porn all day
I applied for best buy yesterday. Good God I'd die to work there. I know there's drama to be had at any workplace but I'll take my lumps as long as I get a nice safe job indoors.
I just hate being alone all the time. I was watching this movie, muppet christmas charol and it talks about how scrooge is such an asshole because he's lived his life always alone. I can understand that completely having never done any kind of real sexual things. On my last job I learned that there's guys who have kids and just work a job every day. I don't know how they do it, must be married.
That's the thing they don't tell you in high school, that to be considered a "normal" person you have to get married and then work a job till your dying day to support the family.
It's what the mil was trying for whatever reason to impress upon me, that I'm the breadwinner for my wife. God, what a joke.
First of all, I don't even know what to do with women, girls, whatever. And all of a sudden over night I'm supposed to figure out how to feel up their breasts and insert my penis into their mouths and vaginas.
Ya know what? Tough. If you can't get a guy to fuck you, that's not my fault.
I just hate being alone all the time. I was watching this movie, muppet christmas charol and it talks about how scrooge is such an asshole because he's lived his life always alone. I can understand that completely having never done any kind of real sexual things. On my last job I learned that there's guys who have kids and just work a job every day. I don't know how they do it, must be married.
That's the thing they don't tell you in high school, that to be considered a "normal" person you have to get married and then work a job till your dying day to support the family.
It's what the mil was trying for whatever reason to impress upon me, that I'm the breadwinner for my wife. God, what a joke.
First of all, I don't even know what to do with women, girls, whatever. And all of a sudden over night I'm supposed to figure out how to feel up their breasts and insert my penis into their mouths and vaginas.
Ya know what? Tough. If you can't get a guy to fuck you, that's not my fault.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Possiblilties
staff sgt velequette, wonderful individual btw claims a guy like me is going to become a father some day. Pfft. What a joke. You know, I'd have been better off in my younger years if someone actually put forth that uh... possibility. All I've ever been taught was that I'd best stay away from parenthood if I wanted to enjoy my life. But yeah as I predicted waaaay back in 10th grade, everybody would be all about making babies and therefore not be able to pursue any life goals.
Now who's look who's laughing. Sure I'm terribly confused about sexuality, but I've got no kids to worry about. Such a shame to think that's the way to go in life. Yeah.
Now who's look who's laughing. Sure I'm terribly confused about sexuality, but I've got no kids to worry about. Such a shame to think that's the way to go in life. Yeah.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Respecting womenz
So where to begin. One of the... uh, contentions? the training squadrons down at lackland had with me was my disrespect towards women. It's like this, plain and simple, when working at airforce bases all around the world you'll have to be a team, period, even if you don't like your team member for whatever reason, it's written in stone that you have to respect them. So yeah I being who i am, very alien to the world of women, treated them like garbage, and I KNOW that that's what they really want, but as far as bmt goes, it's a no no.
Can't figure it out really. Airforce is the safest branch, it's like working for any ho-hum corporation, wake up, get in your car, go to the office, doodle about. But if you make mistakes you'll get severely punished because it's the mil and not some regular job, granted a regular job demands good workmanship too but there's no "under penalty of death" in their contracts.
I keep thinking about bmt as if it was the greatest experience ever. It really wasn't. I was scared most of the time and they made it clear that yeah upon graduation I'd likely go replace some dead soldier in the actual war zone. The problem with that is they can't just send any idiot, and so here I am back home again.
Can't figure it out really. Airforce is the safest branch, it's like working for any ho-hum corporation, wake up, get in your car, go to the office, doodle about. But if you make mistakes you'll get severely punished because it's the mil and not some regular job, granted a regular job demands good workmanship too but there's no "under penalty of death" in their contracts.
I keep thinking about bmt as if it was the greatest experience ever. It really wasn't. I was scared most of the time and they made it clear that yeah upon graduation I'd likely go replace some dead soldier in the actual war zone. The problem with that is they can't just send any idiot, and so here I am back home again.
I think i might be bi
Maybe it's because I've lived my life for so long never having experienced the warmth of a woman, but yeah I'm kinda a little gay I think because when I'm horny like this and my tounge is licking the inside of a grown man's mouth, it is what it is.
I keep thinking back to when whaley walked towards me. By that time I'd been in bmt for at least two weeks *shit moves by FAST, that's why it doesn't necessarily scare me to go back, it's really fast and kind of fun, the only problem is that it really is just you vs an entire mob who'd gladly kill you and wipe your remains off their boot. Seriously I don't want to sound like a pussy but it got to that point where they were physically attacking me if I didn't follow their unrealistic expectations, then of course they made it clear that I had no friends down there and that every single person I was with was a fully trained soldier ready to rip me in half if necessary. and like my mother says, the military loooooves black people since they are physcially intimadating. Me I'm black and some other shit, so I was being set up as a recruiter because statistically mixed race recruiters bring in more minorities than a white one.
Anyway, it is what it is. I mean, if I have to, I'll beat the living shit out of a guy, but only if I'm pushed and I know that all of us men has this in us. It's called the Beast. Remember in Rambo? When he says "you just don't turn it off." what he's talking about is the killer instinct. When we humans are cornered, we become just as crazy as a wild animal no matter how evolved we think we are. And that's what they did to me and what they did to my father, and of course all military personnel are switched "on" through days of mental break-down and brainwashing. It's REAL. Watch jar head. You might be wondering why a former marine gets on the bus at the end to join the parade. Once in the mil, ALWAYS in the mil whether you like it or not. You're just a piece of meat to them.
I don't know... Sometimes I wonder why they didn't just kill me if they didn't think I was airman material. They said I could join the army aircorps. But my dad tells me to stay the hell away from the military. But what else can i do? God, what? i planned to commit suicide at 18, so now a good 5 years later and I'm being told, dude get married, it's awesome. Hell no it isn't. Shrugs, can't figure this out...
I keep thinking back to when whaley walked towards me. By that time I'd been in bmt for at least two weeks *shit moves by FAST, that's why it doesn't necessarily scare me to go back, it's really fast and kind of fun, the only problem is that it really is just you vs an entire mob who'd gladly kill you and wipe your remains off their boot. Seriously I don't want to sound like a pussy but it got to that point where they were physically attacking me if I didn't follow their unrealistic expectations, then of course they made it clear that I had no friends down there and that every single person I was with was a fully trained soldier ready to rip me in half if necessary. and like my mother says, the military loooooves black people since they are physcially intimadating. Me I'm black and some other shit, so I was being set up as a recruiter because statistically mixed race recruiters bring in more minorities than a white one.
Anyway, it is what it is. I mean, if I have to, I'll beat the living shit out of a guy, but only if I'm pushed and I know that all of us men has this in us. It's called the Beast. Remember in Rambo? When he says "you just don't turn it off." what he's talking about is the killer instinct. When we humans are cornered, we become just as crazy as a wild animal no matter how evolved we think we are. And that's what they did to me and what they did to my father, and of course all military personnel are switched "on" through days of mental break-down and brainwashing. It's REAL. Watch jar head. You might be wondering why a former marine gets on the bus at the end to join the parade. Once in the mil, ALWAYS in the mil whether you like it or not. You're just a piece of meat to them.
I don't know... Sometimes I wonder why they didn't just kill me if they didn't think I was airman material. They said I could join the army aircorps. But my dad tells me to stay the hell away from the military. But what else can i do? God, what? i planned to commit suicide at 18, so now a good 5 years later and I'm being told, dude get married, it's awesome. Hell no it isn't. Shrugs, can't figure this out...
Anything for the corporation
I'm learning quickly that corporations are all like military branches. The military has one rule "performance is everything" that's all they care about. How good you are for business, and in truth that's how every job does it too, the more business deals you make, the more money you get, and so on and etc.
I'm out of the loop. Nobody's using me to make money and I'm not married nor a student, so I have no status with the cool kids in this society. Life isn't fair in that, because you're born with certain genitals, you're supposed to become either a husband or a worker bee by my age, and if you don't, then frankly "fuck off" is all you're going to be told.
women have every right to stay home and make babies if they're so disposed and in fact many do just that. Like before I signed up for the airforce, my sister and her boyfriend bombarded me with "oh you'll have a wife and kids now. How great." and shit. I'm thinking, dude, i don't even know what sex is all about or even if i can do that yet, and I'm being told all this nonsense.
And now it's clear to me that my generation is severely pissed, not too pissed, but pissed enough that a person like me can exist who isn't playing by the rules, finish school, get job, start family. I wish it were that simple. I really do. I wanted nothing more than to become a normal male while in high school. I dreamed about marrying my woman, then taking care of her and my family. Then i got kicked in the face by reality. Women are not worth it. Really I'm being hounded by the guys down at lackland for not getting married, but what purpose would there have been to that? It's just for sex, not for love, and girls today are not the same old 50s housewives anymore so why do you expect me to return to that old role.
Furthermore, I watch movies from the old days vs movies today and it's striking to see how different and how hard it is for people to accept nowadays a man standing firm against a woman and not bowing down and begging for her pressence. I'm like... if I get angry and man up and don't take shit from some dick head, people jump on me and say "You're being too aggresive." Then the flipside is that if I turn all gay and act like "ok well you win, you're bigger than me." people say lol what a pussy, can't stand up for himself in an argument or whatever. Really the world's a big pile of shit when you get down to it. So ya know, bring kids into it if you want too I guess...
I'm out of the loop. Nobody's using me to make money and I'm not married nor a student, so I have no status with the cool kids in this society. Life isn't fair in that, because you're born with certain genitals, you're supposed to become either a husband or a worker bee by my age, and if you don't, then frankly "fuck off" is all you're going to be told.
women have every right to stay home and make babies if they're so disposed and in fact many do just that. Like before I signed up for the airforce, my sister and her boyfriend bombarded me with "oh you'll have a wife and kids now. How great." and shit. I'm thinking, dude, i don't even know what sex is all about or even if i can do that yet, and I'm being told all this nonsense.
And now it's clear to me that my generation is severely pissed, not too pissed, but pissed enough that a person like me can exist who isn't playing by the rules, finish school, get job, start family. I wish it were that simple. I really do. I wanted nothing more than to become a normal male while in high school. I dreamed about marrying my woman, then taking care of her and my family. Then i got kicked in the face by reality. Women are not worth it. Really I'm being hounded by the guys down at lackland for not getting married, but what purpose would there have been to that? It's just for sex, not for love, and girls today are not the same old 50s housewives anymore so why do you expect me to return to that old role.
Furthermore, I watch movies from the old days vs movies today and it's striking to see how different and how hard it is for people to accept nowadays a man standing firm against a woman and not bowing down and begging for her pressence. I'm like... if I get angry and man up and don't take shit from some dick head, people jump on me and say "You're being too aggresive." Then the flipside is that if I turn all gay and act like "ok well you win, you're bigger than me." people say lol what a pussy, can't stand up for himself in an argument or whatever. Really the world's a big pile of shit when you get down to it. So ya know, bring kids into it if you want too I guess...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Yessssssssssssssssss
Just shot two, count em, two loads just like the good old days. Made me feel pretty good, not great. I imagine having real sex would be better, but I can only imagine it. People who fuck and fuck and fuck can't stand me because I'm an odd man out. Military personnel live to fuck, claim that's all they're doing it for, to protect their wife and kids, and that's exactly how it should be in my book. Don't make sense to me to inject semen in an anus and all this gay nonsense. But you have people who will defend that life style, and sex with kids and all that. I love young women, am I wrong for that?
I mean I'm willing to be a good person who obeys the law but I also know that truth is, nobody cares how good a guy you are, and money will buy your way out of anything. FBI agents, the president... oh let me tell you this. While in bmt, some spy asked me what I thought of the president, and I said "he's a nut, gonna get shot." Then it dawned on me, I'm seriously a grown adult who's in the military and I just dissed the commander in chief. Ooops... I got a ways to go before I figure out what I'm doing in this body. Really I took a dump on my boss, lol.
But truth be told I know I'm right. First black pres, that's huge, and monumental, but deep down I personally know that his achievement is specious at best and that the day will never come when america will ignore race. But if it makes kids think things are different then so be it.
I mean I'm willing to be a good person who obeys the law but I also know that truth is, nobody cares how good a guy you are, and money will buy your way out of anything. FBI agents, the president... oh let me tell you this. While in bmt, some spy asked me what I thought of the president, and I said "he's a nut, gonna get shot." Then it dawned on me, I'm seriously a grown adult who's in the military and I just dissed the commander in chief. Ooops... I got a ways to go before I figure out what I'm doing in this body. Really I took a dump on my boss, lol.
But truth be told I know I'm right. First black pres, that's huge, and monumental, but deep down I personally know that his achievement is specious at best and that the day will never come when america will ignore race. But if it makes kids think things are different then so be it.
Caprice Whaley's Chocolate nipples
I'm thinking about whaley down at lackland today. She's a staff sargeant in the airforce. She did this thing to me where she made like she was going to kiss me but then backed off, I don't know what that has to do with killing people. Anyway she has some rockin orbs I recall when she was putting on her airforce coat over her t-shirt. Things were like little awesome water balloons in there. I see on her facebook she's kind of dazed in the picture. http://www.facebook.com/people/Capris-Whaley/588202326 She looks like she just got fucked extremely hard and was just so tired after it. That's all I have to say.
A word on the military
I realize they have a serious anti-homosexuality policy and that they as the government views themselves as guardians of the next generation, America's children. That said, their religious views are continuously suspect to me. They believe certain things and in fact it's why there's "in god we trust" on our money because YUP the military, the thing that's brought death to millions is a religious institution or cult when you get down to it. And people like me were being or at least hoped to become elite minds within this religious super power. Why is it religious? Because we're human, and we know fo damn sho that if it was left up to us, we'd blow each other to hell and forget about it the next day.
It's like this. Life is insane. So the most insane of us gets to live the longest really. ME, I'm only as good as my productivity to people. We have freedom of speech but it's bullshit. Philosophically speaking you're not really speaking unless you're being heard and it's why whites will always be in charge because they honestly could care less about the rest of the world's yip yap. I don't blame them honestly. If I had that much power, I'd abuse it too.
Bill gates for instance. It's not that he dropped out of college and then BLAMO figured out how to build a business empire. He was the most ruthless asshole out of his contemporaries and decided to take a leap of faith rather than conform to the ideals of those in charge. That's all that matters, he had balls. He stole from steve jobs, and ran ads to get the word out on his new creations, and became extremely popular and now he's like the mcdonalds of computers. Windows is NOT the best operating system, any programmer will tell you this, but since when did this world operate on what works best?
In fact there are methods somewhere probably in the military itself to build super muscles, live an extra 40 years or something, but because no one can really mass produce it and make money off it, they're not giving it to us. That's how this world works. Whoever has the biggest gun, wins, not the best skills.
It's like this. Life is insane. So the most insane of us gets to live the longest really. ME, I'm only as good as my productivity to people. We have freedom of speech but it's bullshit. Philosophically speaking you're not really speaking unless you're being heard and it's why whites will always be in charge because they honestly could care less about the rest of the world's yip yap. I don't blame them honestly. If I had that much power, I'd abuse it too.
Bill gates for instance. It's not that he dropped out of college and then BLAMO figured out how to build a business empire. He was the most ruthless asshole out of his contemporaries and decided to take a leap of faith rather than conform to the ideals of those in charge. That's all that matters, he had balls. He stole from steve jobs, and ran ads to get the word out on his new creations, and became extremely popular and now he's like the mcdonalds of computers. Windows is NOT the best operating system, any programmer will tell you this, but since when did this world operate on what works best?
In fact there are methods somewhere probably in the military itself to build super muscles, live an extra 40 years or something, but because no one can really mass produce it and make money off it, they're not giving it to us. That's how this world works. Whoever has the biggest gun, wins, not the best skills.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Pregnancy in the military
WEll well well, look at this. I know cnn's not the best news source for unfiltered uncensored honest news, but this report on pregnancy in the military is very interesting. Having been so close to truly becoming part of the military I can confidently say it's a male dominated industry, corporation, whatever. Men run it from top to bottom and women who are in there are treated like queens because they do make babies, a lot of them, so it makes sense.
I was there squatting in the grass with some female recruits, holding my fake gun. And going through the obstacle course too with a bunch of females. Thinking back, I really did go through some hell to try to become an airman. I don't even feel like I left and I know for sure they're keeping someone watching me just in case I go bananas and start talking about it too much. I saw nothing top secret but yeah if i tell about the military maybe some terrorist will use me against them or something... twas the funnest time and the worst time really.. what can i say.
The military is serious because yeah if one little hair is out of place, you can kill a 100 of your own guys. That's why this pregnancy thing is hilarious and even more hilarious that it's major news. OF COURSE women are getting pregnant in the mil. YOU got to be kidding me with having girls deployed alongside boys. The other guys down there I can understand being in the shit with, I actually grew a bond to them in a brotherly way. But the girls, especially the hot ones? HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL OOOOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE. I wanted to rape every single one of them every waking second! How the hell do they expect me to concentrate on my job when there's this super model walking around. Ridiculous.
But that's it isn't it. They want you to be so focused on the mission, nothing stops you from finishing it. That's why they had me getting trained for capture and torture, because yeah you got to have that much balls in the mil. I got the balls, nearly died before even getting in the mil, but I'm just kind of reeeeeeeeeeeeeally horny and don't want to die without getting fucked, ok.
So I understand. i just don't get why the military even let this news out. They really DO have top secret levels of intel that if gotten out would compromise their mission successes. This is about the nation's children and they're letting themselves look like bumbling baffoons in front of everyone, Dear Jesus.
I was there squatting in the grass with some female recruits, holding my fake gun. And going through the obstacle course too with a bunch of females. Thinking back, I really did go through some hell to try to become an airman. I don't even feel like I left and I know for sure they're keeping someone watching me just in case I go bananas and start talking about it too much. I saw nothing top secret but yeah if i tell about the military maybe some terrorist will use me against them or something... twas the funnest time and the worst time really.. what can i say.
The military is serious because yeah if one little hair is out of place, you can kill a 100 of your own guys. That's why this pregnancy thing is hilarious and even more hilarious that it's major news. OF COURSE women are getting pregnant in the mil. YOU got to be kidding me with having girls deployed alongside boys. The other guys down there I can understand being in the shit with, I actually grew a bond to them in a brotherly way. But the girls, especially the hot ones? HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL OOOOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE. I wanted to rape every single one of them every waking second! How the hell do they expect me to concentrate on my job when there's this super model walking around. Ridiculous.
But that's it isn't it. They want you to be so focused on the mission, nothing stops you from finishing it. That's why they had me getting trained for capture and torture, because yeah you got to have that much balls in the mil. I got the balls, nearly died before even getting in the mil, but I'm just kind of reeeeeeeeeeeeeally horny and don't want to die without getting fucked, ok.
So I understand. i just don't get why the military even let this news out. They really DO have top secret levels of intel that if gotten out would compromise their mission successes. This is about the nation's children and they're letting themselves look like bumbling baffoons in front of everyone, Dear Jesus.
What the hell?
I got a follower? HEH interesting... I hope it's not some kid. Don't take the internet seriously, kids, EVER. i DID when I was 16 and I let some anonymous dick head screw me up mentally so I really lost sight of things etc. Not that it's totally messed up my life. i realize now that I'm in a good position, youthful and without children, but the pressure is all on me to become a man when I've never had any kind of male role model to draw from ever, so please I beg young men to look upon each other as brothers because really when you finish school all you'll have is each other, truth be told. Nobody is going to care about you beyond how much work you can get done.
Relax Richard
I took a hit today that's been on my mind like a leech. Take it easy. That was nothing compared to bmt. They rattled my brain something fierce in there, sticking broom handles in my bum bum and all that shit. I got to build a thicker hide. Cuz the truth is, all the stuff I've gone through in my life is nothing compared to growing old and working on a tough job site. Tech Sarg Randolf said I'd be a supervisor because of who I was and all that jazz. I guess he's right. I'd likely be one of those guys who had to ensure things went smoothly rather than have to lift bags and stuff myself.
They make the good money, but if one thing goes wrong, they're fired, lots of pressure. It's like being a major league baseball player vs the minor league, the game is tougher.
God damn I'm confused though. I want to care what people think about me then I have a side of me that is like a big asshole of a guy who could care less what people think about him and would gladly kick ass to keep order, yet one thing irks me to no end, WOMEN and what dating and stuff would actually entail cuz I'm sorry, but to suddenly expect me to join the mil and having never really kissed or felt up boobies before, then marry a girl out of the clear blue sky is ludicrous. I see now that my father was the same way though, never intending to marry my mother, but he had to or something. Tells me he doesn't even know my mother really... wtf kind of world is this.
They make the good money, but if one thing goes wrong, they're fired, lots of pressure. It's like being a major league baseball player vs the minor league, the game is tougher.
God damn I'm confused though. I want to care what people think about me then I have a side of me that is like a big asshole of a guy who could care less what people think about him and would gladly kick ass to keep order, yet one thing irks me to no end, WOMEN and what dating and stuff would actually entail cuz I'm sorry, but to suddenly expect me to join the mil and having never really kissed or felt up boobies before, then marry a girl out of the clear blue sky is ludicrous. I see now that my father was the same way though, never intending to marry my mother, but he had to or something. Tells me he doesn't even know my mother really... wtf kind of world is this.
I'm gay now
Like Bill O Reilly. He's a christian but he's a big jerk of a guy so I don't know how he can be christian and still be so aggressive and shit. but yeah like military personnel, he's religious as a front for his true motives, whatever they may be. He sucks cocks. And likes it. Like that craig guy. And hides behind religion because he doesn't want to face the fact that he truly loves a pair of hairy balls in his mouth.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Army guns
I don't know. I feel all emotional now, struggling to make sense of my libido, when I'm surrounded by white folk who could give a fuck less about my problems. Joining the army or navy, whatever, doesn't matter will be the next stage. The airforce discharge wasn't permanent, or maybe it is... doesn't matter. The military takes ANYBODY. It's only the airforce that needs you to have a brain in your skull. I only left because I was horny as hell. My issue is that I'm always willing to fight too much. I need to just let life be life, and not worry about things all the time. I'm a pugnacious fucker when it comes down to it. But you're always going to have a guy standing there bigger than you who wants you to know it, ya know. So when you take a shot at him, then his buddies gang up on you and you're like "but I was defending myself." but that don't mean shit.
Everybody's looking out for their own in this corrupt society, man. Still I have to say my airforce days were the best days of my life. Too bad they wanted me to get married or I would have really dug being in the mil as an airman.
Everybody's looking out for their own in this corrupt society, man. Still I have to say my airforce days were the best days of my life. Too bad they wanted me to get married or I would have really dug being in the mil as an airman.
Tool of the government
I am a tool of the government. Everything i do and everything I say is constantly being monitored by them. That's why my father's the way he is. He's STILL in the military. He never goddamn left. My entire life was part of a planned out system, but for whatever reason something went wrong. And so now I'm like a damaged piece of equipment. It cost tax payers 500,000 dollars to train me... FOR NOTHING. I'm still just hanging around here doing shit squat. I feel like I owe them something, I really do. My job is to be guardian to the children in America, period. And I understand that and am willing to do it, but my seargant was right, I can't do my job well without being happy.
Heh insanity, doing the same thing expecting a different result. No shit.
I don't know why I do anything. i'm like the joker I guess. Just doing whatever the fuck feels like fun for the time being.
Heh insanity, doing the same thing expecting a different result. No shit.
I don't know why I do anything. i'm like the joker I guess. Just doing whatever the fuck feels like fun for the time being.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sigh
I need a girlfriend badly. But it's hard to get one. Sabrina frato... she will always be my first girlfriend I think. She let me touch her breast, which was the best experience of my entire life, good God! I wish we could have met in another life. But honestly, I'm afraid I'll end up a divorced dad and all that bullcrap.
My mom says I'm scared of girls, that's why I won't try to get with one. Such a stupid thing to say. I have no fear of anything. Not even death. What scares me most is only failure. And I keep remembering everyday how much stuff I've failed to accomplish due to ignorance of the world or any other number of uncontrollable factors that contributed to my downfall as a respected internet personality. No one's forgotten 07. It will be forgotten just like the last time it happened, so I'm not all too put off by it, but we live in an age where some fucktard you used to post with at one website will still be online 9 years later talking the same shit, and yes, I'm talking about you gomer tonic.
Thank God I still have time to fix my life, that's all. I just need to find a good job and get some sweet pussy for once before I die. Stupid people in the military were seriously trying to convince me to go die in war without ever fucking a girl. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL no.
I'll die in war, don't bother me really. gonna die anyway. But I gotta fuck a girl, just that one time, I spend so much time dreaming about it...
My mom says I'm scared of girls, that's why I won't try to get with one. Such a stupid thing to say. I have no fear of anything. Not even death. What scares me most is only failure. And I keep remembering everyday how much stuff I've failed to accomplish due to ignorance of the world or any other number of uncontrollable factors that contributed to my downfall as a respected internet personality. No one's forgotten 07. It will be forgotten just like the last time it happened, so I'm not all too put off by it, but we live in an age where some fucktard you used to post with at one website will still be online 9 years later talking the same shit, and yes, I'm talking about you gomer tonic.
Thank God I still have time to fix my life, that's all. I just need to find a good job and get some sweet pussy for once before I die. Stupid people in the military were seriously trying to convince me to go die in war without ever fucking a girl. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL no.
I'll die in war, don't bother me really. gonna die anyway. But I gotta fuck a girl, just that one time, I spend so much time dreaming about it...
FUCK DEVIN AT CHUD part 2
This guy is pissing me off. I really want to just be a nice guy and treat everyone with respect but the more I read from him and I've been reading his shit since 07, the more I don't like him on a personal level.
WTF. Luke Skywalker was NOT a weedy kid. He was a MAN. He feared nothing. He wanted to take on the world and conquer it, follow his dreams. And he wasn't a faggot. That's why I personally liked him.
People say he whined and shit, but that's all hyperbowl or whatever it's called. You want whiny? Try Anakin in Aotc. Luke would have kicked his ass for being such a little bitch in that movie.
Damn.
WTF. Luke Skywalker was NOT a weedy kid. He was a MAN. He feared nothing. He wanted to take on the world and conquer it, follow his dreams. And he wasn't a faggot. That's why I personally liked him.
People say he whined and shit, but that's all hyperbowl or whatever it's called. You want whiny? Try Anakin in Aotc. Luke would have kicked his ass for being such a little bitch in that movie.
Damn.
Tits and Ass
So I'm watching porn as usual. Life's like this for me. I wake up, check out slashfilm and chud and aicn, then I go eat, then I try to not masturbate and see how it goes, then I just give in to my urges and shoot my slime to some hot ass. I think sometimes I might be gay instead because it doesn't give me that incredible orgasm I used to get when I would masturbate to britney spears or christina agueqafabla. Imagine what a penis would feel like sliding through your rectum repeatedly. Devin's penis.
I dont know. You can't just go and test out if you're gay, that'd probably make you gay in the end.
Girls are damn good to me though, nice young ones though, not old out of shape hos. Whenever i'm near one I go a little insane and feel like raping her, but I know better than that... it's a constant struggle. Oh I wish I was free of this.
I dont know. You can't just go and test out if you're gay, that'd probably make you gay in the end.
Girls are damn good to me though, nice young ones though, not old out of shape hos. Whenever i'm near one I go a little insane and feel like raping her, but I know better than that... it's a constant struggle. Oh I wish I was free of this.
Avatar part 2
Heh. What people don't get about avatar is that it's an anime. I watch anime all the time and one of the things you have to be willing to do with the genre is be extremely forgiving and open minded to its story style. Watch cowboy bebop the movie, or ghost in the shell, or even metropolis. Cameron's like me. he sat around during the 80s or whenever and watched a ton of anime on video or read mangas and then said "dude this would be cool in live action."
The beautiful thing about anime is that it's absolutely limitless in how far it's willing to go creatively. Just watch the prequels and see where lucas got the idea for a full scale battle on a lava planet, dragon ball. The wakowskis and the aerial battle in matrix revolutions, dragon ball. I've seen avatar before, probably as a hentai about sexy catgirls.
Heh, so the funny shit is seeing people who don't regularly watch anime, going crazy, not knowing what to do with avatar. Anime is insane and sometimes skirts near brilliance, but mostly is like a kid playing with his toys, just making shit up out of the blue in a frenzy of artistic masturbation.
But that's ok with me.
The beautiful thing about anime is that it's absolutely limitless in how far it's willing to go creatively. Just watch the prequels and see where lucas got the idea for a full scale battle on a lava planet, dragon ball. The wakowskis and the aerial battle in matrix revolutions, dragon ball. I've seen avatar before, probably as a hentai about sexy catgirls.
Heh, so the funny shit is seeing people who don't regularly watch anime, going crazy, not knowing what to do with avatar. Anime is insane and sometimes skirts near brilliance, but mostly is like a kid playing with his toys, just making shit up out of the blue in a frenzy of artistic masturbation.
But that's ok with me.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
ah man i'm horny
guess my son or daughter wants to live, badly. Little assholes.
Yeah my mind's shifting more towards becoming a dad now as I age. Fucking pissing me off... that's all. I don't like kids at all. and there are already billions of them out there and shit already. why should I give a fuck about them. No one gave a fuck about me.
Avatar was cool though. It's truly a film made for boys to enjoy. No gay shit, just straight up men doing what men do which is blow shit up and kick ass. I haven't seen that in a long time.
That's its problem. People are so used to seeing brokeback and love stories a movie comes a long that's done in the classic 80s action movie format and it's frankly un-expected.
We are seeing the resurgence of testosterone in cinema, and thank God for that.
That's what keeps me sane, movies and comics and art. I don't give a shit about reality.
Yeah my mind's shifting more towards becoming a dad now as I age. Fucking pissing me off... that's all. I don't like kids at all. and there are already billions of them out there and shit already. why should I give a fuck about them. No one gave a fuck about me.
Avatar was cool though. It's truly a film made for boys to enjoy. No gay shit, just straight up men doing what men do which is blow shit up and kick ass. I haven't seen that in a long time.
That's its problem. People are so used to seeing brokeback and love stories a movie comes a long that's done in the classic 80s action movie format and it's frankly un-expected.
We are seeing the resurgence of testosterone in cinema, and thank God for that.
That's what keeps me sane, movies and comics and art. I don't give a shit about reality.
A word on art criticism
I'm an advocate of deep well-thought analysis of movies. And in truth a lot of kids and people who don't give a fuck, don't think about subtext, symbolism, themes, parrallels etc. Some people are in school right now just now learning what a theme is. I learned it in 9th grade. I used to just not care what a story meant, but was more intrigued by who the characters were as people and nothing more. little did i know that what they were doing meant anything at all, but they do... Its why empire is inarguably better than jedi. It has depth where jedi has like, some muppets and shit, then some depth. The prequels for all their cgi don't have even an ounce of the humanity found in anh etc.
but at least they're not gay I say in hindsight as I realize back then life was much simpler when sex and politics didn't make my head all fuzzy during movies.
So devin's declared war on avatar now I see, as advocate for intelligent critique of film rather than the "shit was awesome" response being as deep as it gets. he's right and he's wrong in my view. It's fucking complicated, whether to analyse something or think nothing more about it than the surface and move on. That's whats going on in Avatar ironically. The corporation fails to see the seeming simplicity of the na vi's symbios relationship with nature. It's his job to do that so of course he's pissed when people think otherwise, then he'd be out of work wouldn't he...
interesting how the movie's themes now ressonate in real life now. Fucking art is a bitch. more thoughts on this later as they come...
but at least they're not gay I say in hindsight as I realize back then life was much simpler when sex and politics didn't make my head all fuzzy during movies.
So devin's declared war on avatar now I see, as advocate for intelligent critique of film rather than the "shit was awesome" response being as deep as it gets. he's right and he's wrong in my view. It's fucking complicated, whether to analyse something or think nothing more about it than the surface and move on. That's whats going on in Avatar ironically. The corporation fails to see the seeming simplicity of the na vi's symbios relationship with nature. It's his job to do that so of course he's pissed when people think otherwise, then he'd be out of work wouldn't he...
interesting how the movie's themes now ressonate in real life now. Fucking art is a bitch. more thoughts on this later as they come...
Monday, December 21, 2009
FUCK DEVIN AT CHUD
H A HA HAHA, devin on chud is getting lynched now because he thought avatar was a decent movie, not a masterpiece. Welcome to my world buddy... It IS a masterpiece, made by a man who's been through EVERY SINGLE kind of hurddle an artist can go through while making a movie. You can't read a book and then BOOM you can make great movies. Not gonna work. You have to earn your stripes. James Cameron's a fucking general, I don't even know which kind, maybe all of them, by now. I know that don't matter some asshole kid, but we men function through the chain of command and you have to respect a man who's been through it all and can still craft a masterpiece after already peaking with titanic. Jesus what does cameron smoke, cuz it's some good shit to have dreamt up avatar. I'm no stranger to science fiction movies and books. Avatar is planet of the apes done RIGHT. Really go watch the stupid burton version, this was what burton was TRYING to do but failed. Remarkable... And it has layers. I watch the bootleg and I'm catching shit I didn't see before. Hell even terminator Salvation doesn't even deserve to wipe avatar's ass. And that movie was trying so hard to be a james cameron film. It's embarrassed completely by the master at work. I know I'm sucking Cameron's dick but it's a fucking great movie so it's deserved you know...
Goddamn cinema's getting good again. I thought after the star wars prequels movies were just going to become routine hit or miss things again and not necessarily great historical passion projects from the titans in the industry. But nope. Superman returns was huge, then came Rocky Balboa, then came Rambo, then Batman ownt all of them with some help from ledger, then star trek returned well enough for my tastes though I would have made a deeper more challenging film like avatar.
What next... Harry potter looks to be the last great big franchise film.
Goddamn cinema's getting good again. I thought after the star wars prequels movies were just going to become routine hit or miss things again and not necessarily great historical passion projects from the titans in the industry. But nope. Superman returns was huge, then came Rocky Balboa, then came Rambo, then Batman ownt all of them with some help from ledger, then star trek returned well enough for my tastes though I would have made a deeper more challenging film like avatar.
What next... Harry potter looks to be the last great big franchise film.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Dreams
I had a dream last night. It was about the death of my father. I imagined what I'd think about when it happened for real. He's already dead, whatever disease he has has turned him into something that isn't human anymore. He just exists.
I just exist too. I have no reason to live except porn, food, and the internet. A pretty powerful combination in the end.
I'm not afraid to live in this world without my parents. Not anymore... I know how to survive, the question is why... All my days I've been stuck doing things I didn't want to do, learn abcs, complext math, reading, and when I got to my life long dream joining the military, I'm told to get married. What a joke...
No shit, having a girlfriend would be awesome, but it's too late for me. I'm at a point now where I don't even think I can make that kind of connection to a female ever again, though I remember I did once. I see pretty girls everywhere but I dare not go near them for fear of the law or any other numbers of problems like babies etc. I realize now that women are stupid and don't know what they want in life. Me, I just want sex. They want everything. Everything.
We have laws in this society but who cares about them. What to do with your life.. art makes the most sense to me, but art is dangerous. It's very dangerous. You have to be tough to handle creativity or it can destroy you. I got so immersed in my desire to be the best artist ever, I blew it all up on myself and lost my sanity, but sigh... it was spectacular while it lasted.
I just exist too. I have no reason to live except porn, food, and the internet. A pretty powerful combination in the end.
I'm not afraid to live in this world without my parents. Not anymore... I know how to survive, the question is why... All my days I've been stuck doing things I didn't want to do, learn abcs, complext math, reading, and when I got to my life long dream joining the military, I'm told to get married. What a joke...
No shit, having a girlfriend would be awesome, but it's too late for me. I'm at a point now where I don't even think I can make that kind of connection to a female ever again, though I remember I did once. I see pretty girls everywhere but I dare not go near them for fear of the law or any other numbers of problems like babies etc. I realize now that women are stupid and don't know what they want in life. Me, I just want sex. They want everything. Everything.
We have laws in this society but who cares about them. What to do with your life.. art makes the most sense to me, but art is dangerous. It's very dangerous. You have to be tough to handle creativity or it can destroy you. I got so immersed in my desire to be the best artist ever, I blew it all up on myself and lost my sanity, but sigh... it was spectacular while it lasted.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Avatar
I saw a film that will very likely bomb, but in years time will become either a cult classic or a true classic.
The movie's a work of art, and that's its main flaw it demands you use your imagination, think abstractly, interpret its true meaning. Cameron and I come from the same thought process so I know exactly what he's saying with his story but a lot of critics don't or they're too embarrassed to admit they dug the movie, it happens sometimes online...
I hope Harry on aicn loves it. I love it, and not in the immature, jizz my pants at all the hot blue girl ass that a lot of dumbass kids will likely think, but the artistic merits of the movie are REAL and maybe you have to be smart to catch them.
So what makes the movie great? For one thing it's cool to watch. It's artistic porn, and literal porn at points. But the true heart of it is the story. I was sitting there and honestly I hated Jake, just another grunt like the scientist woman said he was. Nothing about him was special. His brother was the special one. But you have to look beyond that...
Spoiler:
Jake IS the Avatar
i was on the bus home and I just got a holy shit moment... This movie's going to fly over everyone's heads I think... because it demands thought, complex analysis of its story, and all that shit. People will bemoan its religious aspects, but there's no damn point to the movie without it. Ask yourself this, who was the alien and who was the native? Flip every line spoken by the humans and apply them to the na vi and you get the truth. I mean it's more complicated than that, but I love how the ending shows exactly what was intended to take place by the avatar program, getting rid of the aliens.
Fucking 10 out of 10.
I wish I had a job so I could keep seeing it again and again.
The movie's a work of art, and that's its main flaw it demands you use your imagination, think abstractly, interpret its true meaning. Cameron and I come from the same thought process so I know exactly what he's saying with his story but a lot of critics don't or they're too embarrassed to admit they dug the movie, it happens sometimes online...
I hope Harry on aicn loves it. I love it, and not in the immature, jizz my pants at all the hot blue girl ass that a lot of dumbass kids will likely think, but the artistic merits of the movie are REAL and maybe you have to be smart to catch them.
So what makes the movie great? For one thing it's cool to watch. It's artistic porn, and literal porn at points. But the true heart of it is the story. I was sitting there and honestly I hated Jake, just another grunt like the scientist woman said he was. Nothing about him was special. His brother was the special one. But you have to look beyond that...
Spoiler:
Jake IS the Avatar
i was on the bus home and I just got a holy shit moment... This movie's going to fly over everyone's heads I think... because it demands thought, complex analysis of its story, and all that shit. People will bemoan its religious aspects, but there's no damn point to the movie without it. Ask yourself this, who was the alien and who was the native? Flip every line spoken by the humans and apply them to the na vi and you get the truth. I mean it's more complicated than that, but I love how the ending shows exactly what was intended to take place by the avatar program, getting rid of the aliens.
Fucking 10 out of 10.
I wish I had a job so I could keep seeing it again and again.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
College dropout part 2
I'm thinking about the way the world is... shame but truth is the world functions on an "us vs them" system of belief. College people look out for college people. Women look out for women. Blacks look out for blacks, though in my experience i've met very few of those kinds of blacks. Whites damn well look after whites and on and on and on... So if you want to survive in this world, you'll have to join a club.
I read once about some college professor lamenting about how there's no longer any "shame" associated with continuing to live at home years after high school. Is that all I wonder? A childish sense of "oh you're not one of the cool kids." is all one needs to fear from the big time college educated people? Jesus Christ help us all if this is what college education amounts to.
Truth is this... The colleges don't actually teach shit. the kids who get in are ALREADY super smart and would get good jobs regardless of a degree. But the colleges want to train them to fit their expectations for corporate workers. Like training a pilot. Every pilot is trained the same because you can't possibly have just any fool flying a plane, nevermind that planes fly themselves these days but you still need them to be manned by someone who knows how to drive the damn thing. College is pilot school, driving school, military trainiing, everything, and you know what they're training you for? Being a corporate worker and consumer of all sorts of useless junk.
Ah but I figured it out. SEX is fucking these young people up terribly and it becomes that much harder to ask them to conform to a certain life style when you neglect their body's needs, but who cares right.... as long as you get them in tons of debt, signed up for credit cards, all's good.
Above all else, college is a business transaction. You pay them to make more money than the regular joes of the world. That's all it is. When I was there I was kind of shocked to discover that it's NOT this great well of in depth knowledge on a series of complex subjects. The professors wanted nothing more from me but for me to prove that I can be their bitch so that when I get to the corporation, I just suck my bosses cock for money, period. That's all there is to it, and to life. No one gives a fuck how smart you are in the real world. How much cock can you suck... that's something else...
So for me to say "hey i got freedom of speech don't I..." Then you'll get a resounding "not unless you're white."
I read once about some college professor lamenting about how there's no longer any "shame" associated with continuing to live at home years after high school. Is that all I wonder? A childish sense of "oh you're not one of the cool kids." is all one needs to fear from the big time college educated people? Jesus Christ help us all if this is what college education amounts to.
Truth is this... The colleges don't actually teach shit. the kids who get in are ALREADY super smart and would get good jobs regardless of a degree. But the colleges want to train them to fit their expectations for corporate workers. Like training a pilot. Every pilot is trained the same because you can't possibly have just any fool flying a plane, nevermind that planes fly themselves these days but you still need them to be manned by someone who knows how to drive the damn thing. College is pilot school, driving school, military trainiing, everything, and you know what they're training you for? Being a corporate worker and consumer of all sorts of useless junk.
Ah but I figured it out. SEX is fucking these young people up terribly and it becomes that much harder to ask them to conform to a certain life style when you neglect their body's needs, but who cares right.... as long as you get them in tons of debt, signed up for credit cards, all's good.
Above all else, college is a business transaction. You pay them to make more money than the regular joes of the world. That's all it is. When I was there I was kind of shocked to discover that it's NOT this great well of in depth knowledge on a series of complex subjects. The professors wanted nothing more from me but for me to prove that I can be their bitch so that when I get to the corporation, I just suck my bosses cock for money, period. That's all there is to it, and to life. No one gives a fuck how smart you are in the real world. How much cock can you suck... that's something else...
So for me to say "hey i got freedom of speech don't I..." Then you'll get a resounding "not unless you're white."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So much to think about.
Strange... reviews for avatar are coming in from familiar sources, chud, aicn. So far it's a collective "meh it's okay" from just about everyone. I wonder to myself sometimes honestly if most critics have just outgrown movies of their youth and can't get as jazzed for newer films. Then I remember the star wars prequels and it's more apparent to me that sometimes a movie's just stupidly made and that's all there is to it.
I'm trying to abstain from masturbating now too which is hard shit. I fucking feel terrible. I didn't masturbate all during bmt and it was just insane. And on top of that the people down there didn't care how sex starved I was beyond hopes of marriage. I don't need no friggin wife, shit... I hate how they think marriage is all that, though I'd have married caprice whaley in a minute she was awesome. She reminded me of Alicia, my childhood friend only older and with amazing chesticles, so perfectly plump. I looked her up, she's 25, for goodness sake. 2 years older than me and I don't know, maybe she's got a kid already... lol It's hard to figure out who to be into at my age. I still like them young... damn.
Airforce Smareforce, bunch of assholes running these branches. I wish the world was better in that people really did grow up and become mature but nope. Sure enough we are a civilized society, but we're all still very much children acting stupid on a playground called earth. School's just a place where we get a taste of the real world. I'm content to stay out of the way myself, but damnit if I don't always draw attention to myself out there. i'm glad I'm not in high school anymore. I was so sick of school from 8 years of elementary, then simply I was told I had to go to high school for 4 years, so I said *shrugs* whatever. Little did I know my dick would start shooting slime all over the place during my first year there, and life got more complicated after that. And I'm still being told I'm young and have to go to school. Fucking corporations want some smart niggers I guess to fill their quota. nah, not going to take the bait bitch. I'm done and i don't care about school anymore, bunch of assholes getting paid to teach shit you'll never need to know in life... just tell a kid "dude just get a job and work it until you're 50 and that's all the little bugger needs to know.
I'm trying to abstain from masturbating now too which is hard shit. I fucking feel terrible. I didn't masturbate all during bmt and it was just insane. And on top of that the people down there didn't care how sex starved I was beyond hopes of marriage. I don't need no friggin wife, shit... I hate how they think marriage is all that, though I'd have married caprice whaley in a minute she was awesome. She reminded me of Alicia, my childhood friend only older and with amazing chesticles, so perfectly plump. I looked her up, she's 25, for goodness sake. 2 years older than me and I don't know, maybe she's got a kid already... lol It's hard to figure out who to be into at my age. I still like them young... damn.
Airforce Smareforce, bunch of assholes running these branches. I wish the world was better in that people really did grow up and become mature but nope. Sure enough we are a civilized society, but we're all still very much children acting stupid on a playground called earth. School's just a place where we get a taste of the real world. I'm content to stay out of the way myself, but damnit if I don't always draw attention to myself out there. i'm glad I'm not in high school anymore. I was so sick of school from 8 years of elementary, then simply I was told I had to go to high school for 4 years, so I said *shrugs* whatever. Little did I know my dick would start shooting slime all over the place during my first year there, and life got more complicated after that. And I'm still being told I'm young and have to go to school. Fucking corporations want some smart niggers I guess to fill their quota. nah, not going to take the bait bitch. I'm done and i don't care about school anymore, bunch of assholes getting paid to teach shit you'll never need to know in life... just tell a kid "dude just get a job and work it until you're 50 and that's all the little bugger needs to know.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Titties
I think about titties a lot.
Back when i first met holly i noticed her tits were small but were still growing, like she was one of those girls who needed time to blossom before full plumpness was achieved. I got to say I like boobs. Unfortunately I can't just go find some and squeeze them up just anywhere.
The question is age.
Some girls are 20 but look 15 ya know. It's just genetics. Some girls are the opposite, they're 16 but look much older than their years and are fully developed breasts and body curves.
girls around 13 think they don't look good but they're idiots ya know because in 3 years their bodies will fill out in preparation for breeding and then it's like... at that point you have to question our 18 as the age of consent law because obviously the body disagrees, lol. Anyway...
I think I might be a slight pedophile even though I'm not so old it'd be way off for me to be into hotass teenage girls, but I hate hate hate how society expects us to suddenly stop liking high school girls period and just friggin fuck anything that moves over 18. ha ha ha ha not that simple. We are wired to go after girls who are of breeding age, period, that being at least 14 to 35 years old. More realistically 16 to 25...
Sorry to older women but just as you're not into poor men, we don't want over the hill bitches.
Gotta make that money though. I want to tell every male in high school right now to tap that ass regardless of what you're being told. Once you get to college and beyond you'll be paying for it. Get it while it's free. No young woman wants a man who can't pay for any children who result from their intercourse.
So I'm stuck. I got no money. It would appear that I can't even think straight without getting laid, so what's a nigga to do... I'm more than ever understanding why rape happens... I know it's controversal to say but that's my blog's style, just big open free thoughts without restraint, and yeah some girls WANT to be raped, maybe it's nature, maybe they're just morons, but I mean I'm shocked to read that some girls like being choked and like rough sex, can't get horny unless their man is like a beast, shit like that just continues to make me believe the unthinkable.
I mean when sabrina frato looked at me it was weird, she had this *come get it* look on her that I never saw before in my life. That's a military girl right there baby. I wish I fucked her.
Back when i first met holly i noticed her tits were small but were still growing, like she was one of those girls who needed time to blossom before full plumpness was achieved. I got to say I like boobs. Unfortunately I can't just go find some and squeeze them up just anywhere.
The question is age.
Some girls are 20 but look 15 ya know. It's just genetics. Some girls are the opposite, they're 16 but look much older than their years and are fully developed breasts and body curves.
girls around 13 think they don't look good but they're idiots ya know because in 3 years their bodies will fill out in preparation for breeding and then it's like... at that point you have to question our 18 as the age of consent law because obviously the body disagrees, lol. Anyway...
I think I might be a slight pedophile even though I'm not so old it'd be way off for me to be into hotass teenage girls, but I hate hate hate how society expects us to suddenly stop liking high school girls period and just friggin fuck anything that moves over 18. ha ha ha ha not that simple. We are wired to go after girls who are of breeding age, period, that being at least 14 to 35 years old. More realistically 16 to 25...
Sorry to older women but just as you're not into poor men, we don't want over the hill bitches.
Gotta make that money though. I want to tell every male in high school right now to tap that ass regardless of what you're being told. Once you get to college and beyond you'll be paying for it. Get it while it's free. No young woman wants a man who can't pay for any children who result from their intercourse.
So I'm stuck. I got no money. It would appear that I can't even think straight without getting laid, so what's a nigga to do... I'm more than ever understanding why rape happens... I know it's controversal to say but that's my blog's style, just big open free thoughts without restraint, and yeah some girls WANT to be raped, maybe it's nature, maybe they're just morons, but I mean I'm shocked to read that some girls like being choked and like rough sex, can't get horny unless their man is like a beast, shit like that just continues to make me believe the unthinkable.
I mean when sabrina frato looked at me it was weird, she had this *come get it* look on her that I never saw before in my life. That's a military girl right there baby. I wish I fucked her.
Running with sixxxers
I'm turning gay. The thing about life you have to figure out after high school is that there is no adulthood. It's just a world where a bunch of fucking high schoolers are getting paid to do some tasks, maybe for their own kids, maybe not, but it's no surprise that full grown adults are always being found doing stupid kiddie crap simply because they ARE stupid little kids just older. I used to believe in a society that rewarded you for your maturity and intelligence. it makes sense. Those who strove to be the more adult and sophisticated would be given the high life, not so. Fags and girls rule the college system now. The military's becoming more feminized too though it's still a male dominated corporation really.
Things don't change, for sure, but some little changes certainly make great big waves before things snap back into normalcy.
The current wave going on right now is feminism, gay rights, atheism, and blacks still hanging around at the bottom of the ladder even though there's a black president and shit.
I'm no longer ignorant to the way the world is nor how the media works or who it's controlled by, a bunch of rich white christian conservatives who want to build a world for their kids to succeed in and to hell with everyone else, but alas their kids are turning fags left and right and forgetting about Jesus and all thag fairytale santa clause bullshit we feed kids because to hell with it, we're all dead in the end, might as well have fun.
That's why we have to take drastic measures, nay go to extremes to survive. Turning gay may save me I think. nobody knows what to do with gay people, nevermind niggers. Gays are so fucked up, they're like the boogey man. You just don't know whether to believe it or not. Hell maybe everybody's gay or whatever but we can't possibly know for sure. I know I have a little faggotry in me from time to time, but I'll be damned if I don't want to fuck the shit out of gorgeous female every day I wake.
Still Sucks so much being male it might be the better option... being a girl isn't bad at all these days.
Things don't change, for sure, but some little changes certainly make great big waves before things snap back into normalcy.
The current wave going on right now is feminism, gay rights, atheism, and blacks still hanging around at the bottom of the ladder even though there's a black president and shit.
I'm no longer ignorant to the way the world is nor how the media works or who it's controlled by, a bunch of rich white christian conservatives who want to build a world for their kids to succeed in and to hell with everyone else, but alas their kids are turning fags left and right and forgetting about Jesus and all thag fairytale santa clause bullshit we feed kids because to hell with it, we're all dead in the end, might as well have fun.
That's why we have to take drastic measures, nay go to extremes to survive. Turning gay may save me I think. nobody knows what to do with gay people, nevermind niggers. Gays are so fucked up, they're like the boogey man. You just don't know whether to believe it or not. Hell maybe everybody's gay or whatever but we can't possibly know for sure. I know I have a little faggotry in me from time to time, but I'll be damned if I don't want to fuck the shit out of gorgeous female every day I wake.
Still Sucks so much being male it might be the better option... being a girl isn't bad at all these days.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Avatar
Jesus christ.
Reviews are coming in on the new james cameron movie. I think it's going to be spectacular, fun, rollercoaster with substance.
Cameron's my hero. Even though I've read horry stories about how much of a tyrant he is as a director and indeed he comes off as a smug know it all asshole in some of his interviews, he's earned it. He's not some jj abrams clown or nolan who basically finds a formula and sticks to it and pumps out a quantified hollywood product. He's an actual motherfucking artist. Straight out of the days when cinema aspired to be works of art and not merely yet another mass produced product like so many other art forms have turned into these days.
That's why the movie will succeed, I feel. It will have fucking tried HARD to push the film medium forward into unexplored territory, I hope.
Film's always changing. It started silent, black and white, then someone discovered sound and people thought it actually ruined movies, but now you can't imagine one without it, then color came about, and it was actually a selling point for films and tv shows. IN COLOR. Then special fx movies came along that for the first time made the impossible seem possible. I was there as a kid seeing jurrasic park for the first time. It's amazing to think back and remember just how in awe I was of what they could accomplish with computers back then. Now a kid today would be like, dude my ps3 has better graphics. Wow man... But hey, that's life. The older I get, the more trivial my past experiences start to seem.
Avatar could do it though, be the next leap in film though we already have 3d movies and realistic cgi isn't really amazing anyone anymore. So what's so special about Avatar? It seems like one of those obscure 80s movies they used to make about weird shit someone must have thought of while taking a shit one day, weird science ya know. But whatever. I'm hoping the movie is not only good to watch but does something new we've yet to see.
Reviews are coming in on the new james cameron movie. I think it's going to be spectacular, fun, rollercoaster with substance.
Cameron's my hero. Even though I've read horry stories about how much of a tyrant he is as a director and indeed he comes off as a smug know it all asshole in some of his interviews, he's earned it. He's not some jj abrams clown or nolan who basically finds a formula and sticks to it and pumps out a quantified hollywood product. He's an actual motherfucking artist. Straight out of the days when cinema aspired to be works of art and not merely yet another mass produced product like so many other art forms have turned into these days.
That's why the movie will succeed, I feel. It will have fucking tried HARD to push the film medium forward into unexplored territory, I hope.
Film's always changing. It started silent, black and white, then someone discovered sound and people thought it actually ruined movies, but now you can't imagine one without it, then color came about, and it was actually a selling point for films and tv shows. IN COLOR. Then special fx movies came along that for the first time made the impossible seem possible. I was there as a kid seeing jurrasic park for the first time. It's amazing to think back and remember just how in awe I was of what they could accomplish with computers back then. Now a kid today would be like, dude my ps3 has better graphics. Wow man... But hey, that's life. The older I get, the more trivial my past experiences start to seem.
Avatar could do it though, be the next leap in film though we already have 3d movies and realistic cgi isn't really amazing anyone anymore. So what's so special about Avatar? It seems like one of those obscure 80s movies they used to make about weird shit someone must have thought of while taking a shit one day, weird science ya know. But whatever. I'm hoping the movie is not only good to watch but does something new we've yet to see.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
pussy
Something's changed about me. I'm getting older and with age comes a realization that death is around the corner, so you slow your roll, take time to enjoy the day more, plan carefully, don't sweat the small stuff though you have to at times before things go crazy... Still the way the world is right now for me isn't so bad. But as I watch my porn to just see how my mind reacts to it, I'm transfixed on the woman's vagina... I want to taste it... I look at her stomach and I want to put a baby in there... I want to be immortal...
Damn, but I must resist it. That's what all people do, they get all horny, fuck, then have a baby and ruin any chance of being a free man again.
I can do ANYTHING I want in life now. No school. Just get a stupid job somewhere that's easy and then do whatever I want besides it, no kids. I can travel the world. Become a pilot or whatever... I'm only 23. I can plan the next 7 years before 30 when a male reaches his prime.
It would be wise to plan it all out. Imagine the possibilities. People want me to go to college so I don't go thinking for myself or anything and cause trouble, plus it's a white man's world in that the last thing they want is a black guy bucking the system and succeeding without college, but my gut tells me it's possible. I just have to take chances and be willing to stumble before my rise to the top of whatever field I decide to devote myself to. It's been a long wait but now maybe, perhaps I can finally be free to pursue my own interests and not those of the fat old people around me.
Damn, but I must resist it. That's what all people do, they get all horny, fuck, then have a baby and ruin any chance of being a free man again.
I can do ANYTHING I want in life now. No school. Just get a stupid job somewhere that's easy and then do whatever I want besides it, no kids. I can travel the world. Become a pilot or whatever... I'm only 23. I can plan the next 7 years before 30 when a male reaches his prime.
It would be wise to plan it all out. Imagine the possibilities. People want me to go to college so I don't go thinking for myself or anything and cause trouble, plus it's a white man's world in that the last thing they want is a black guy bucking the system and succeeding without college, but my gut tells me it's possible. I just have to take chances and be willing to stumble before my rise to the top of whatever field I decide to devote myself to. It's been a long wait but now maybe, perhaps I can finally be free to pursue my own interests and not those of the fat old people around me.
The old grind
Back to the old grind. I'm bored... messing around in comment sections on slashfilm and chud for fun. I know it annoys the webmasters but they need to lighten up and get their head out of their asses imo. I come from a time when the internet was literally about as impactful and powerful as any other silly electronic device. Little did I know that some people live on the damn thing night and day. And when some douche bag teenager comes in hollering they take it as some kind of real life disturbance.
Me, I have nothing else. If I had a job, I'd be better off but I'm having a lot of trouble finding one. I could join the army but it'd be wise to join when the war is over. During BMT some of the guys down there were a little batshit because they'd been in the shit for real and likely expected to go their whole career never seeing gunfire. They knew I couldn't handle it. Especially having never gotten laid. That's huge I think to fuck before going into battle.
I played the good little boy. I stayed the hell away from girls as I'd been taught by my mother, and of course I'm a pussy for not becoming a Man over night and ripping a girl's panties off and thrusting my meat between her cheeks like she wants. Heh... I don't know. I guess it's because we're at war that we're so simple minded now and rush rush rush about life. It's a big decision to get married to a girl, man, and who are these military girls who want to go getting with guys who could die the next day? Wtf...
I just don't know what to do...
Me, I have nothing else. If I had a job, I'd be better off but I'm having a lot of trouble finding one. I could join the army but it'd be wise to join when the war is over. During BMT some of the guys down there were a little batshit because they'd been in the shit for real and likely expected to go their whole career never seeing gunfire. They knew I couldn't handle it. Especially having never gotten laid. That's huge I think to fuck before going into battle.
I played the good little boy. I stayed the hell away from girls as I'd been taught by my mother, and of course I'm a pussy for not becoming a Man over night and ripping a girl's panties off and thrusting my meat between her cheeks like she wants. Heh... I don't know. I guess it's because we're at war that we're so simple minded now and rush rush rush about life. It's a big decision to get married to a girl, man, and who are these military girls who want to go getting with guys who could die the next day? Wtf...
I just don't know what to do...
Lady at the store
I live next door to a woman who seemingly is raising a bunch of kids by herself. She's a witch though. I went to the corner store today to get some yo hos because I like yo hos and she's there berating her son or whoever the kid is for not standing near by. It's sad to me because the kid's very likely going to end up fearing women later in life or gay, whatever after being raised by this crazy bitch.
When I got home I started thinking about how many households are like this, that just have a single mom raising boys and the father's off somewhere working his ass off to pay child support. Truth is the courts always side with the woman in this world we live in. Fathers are inconsequential. But it's wrong to take a male rolemodel away from a boy I can assure you of that. It's just that people are afraid of men so they prefer women be given sole custody. But women are just as bad.
This woman especially exhibited to me an irrational hatred of men and boys she's been carrying with her since childhood. She's like my mother in a way. My mother accused me of becoming a rapist constantly during my fucking childhood... telling a kid he'll rape girls, how about that... and really she just hates boys. She hates being female. And she hates men so much she'd prefer I remain a little boy forever. This world is THAT bad, man. A lot of women I feel fear men's power so much that they don't want their sons to grow up and become dominant no bullshit men.
It's going to destroy us all.
When I got home I started thinking about how many households are like this, that just have a single mom raising boys and the father's off somewhere working his ass off to pay child support. Truth is the courts always side with the woman in this world we live in. Fathers are inconsequential. But it's wrong to take a male rolemodel away from a boy I can assure you of that. It's just that people are afraid of men so they prefer women be given sole custody. But women are just as bad.
This woman especially exhibited to me an irrational hatred of men and boys she's been carrying with her since childhood. She's like my mother in a way. My mother accused me of becoming a rapist constantly during my fucking childhood... telling a kid he'll rape girls, how about that... and really she just hates boys. She hates being female. And she hates men so much she'd prefer I remain a little boy forever. This world is THAT bad, man. A lot of women I feel fear men's power so much that they don't want their sons to grow up and become dominant no bullshit men.
It's going to destroy us all.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A generation of men raised by women
I'm watching some porn now since I wake up every day fixated on sex. My body hungers for it, less so than when I was around 18 but still I continue to need my porn fix or else I feel like crap. I suppose this is adulthood everyone goes on about. It's torture to me.
Sigh. I'm thinking my way through it more than anything. I could shoot my load and get a brief relief from the pain or fight my way through it.
It's an unfortunate revelation to me now that people my age have a "either your with us or you're against us" mentallity as far as sexuality goes. You're either a butt humper or a pussy pounder, no mercy, none of that equality bullshit. People who are setting themselves up for parent hood want you to conform or shut up. All this tolerance is a joke, nobody, especially young women cares about gay people. Young women want babies badly like I've said before and just as I predicted, after they leave high school or college they soon abandon any previous dreams of becoming a tough corporate worker and decide to pop out babies instead.
So yeah, I have what they want and now even though they ignored my geeky self back in high school, they're looking for any clean dick they can get, no aids, nice size, all that. And they THINK that all they have to do is play cute and feminine to get us to be their boy toy. Silly rabbits, I'm not dumb like a lot of guys. Women are ruthless manipulators especially when they realize their looks are soon to fade. Then they bend over backwards for what they desperately want before divorcing you and running away with the riches. It's sad but women look at men as nothing more than money and sex.
I THOUGHT I was supposed to become a good husband, protector, lover, and jedi Knight for my lady who I'd gladly die for, but women ruined it for themselves. That side of me is now completely gone. Women wanted to be men, they decided to raise their sons alone, and now they're wondering why men aren't being the old school chivalrous type anymore. You fucked up. Admit it and stop blaming men for not MANNING UP when you took away their whole entire reason for doing so in the first place.
I think about girls all the time but none of them are girls anymore. It's nice to tell a little girl that she can be anything she wants to be, even a man, but woowwww when she hits 18 she's on her knees sucking cock for money no matter how cute she was a baby. I never really thought about it until now. I was raised by my mother who taught me NOTHING about girl's attitude towards men and so as she grows older she's THINKING i'm gay because I'm not a man yet. Fucking bitch, just makes me want to just die realizing how cluelss women are. They know nothing about how men develope but they don't care, they'll pretend they do. Somebody needs to kick their asses, seriously...
Sigh. I'm thinking my way through it more than anything. I could shoot my load and get a brief relief from the pain or fight my way through it.
It's an unfortunate revelation to me now that people my age have a "either your with us or you're against us" mentallity as far as sexuality goes. You're either a butt humper or a pussy pounder, no mercy, none of that equality bullshit. People who are setting themselves up for parent hood want you to conform or shut up. All this tolerance is a joke, nobody, especially young women cares about gay people. Young women want babies badly like I've said before and just as I predicted, after they leave high school or college they soon abandon any previous dreams of becoming a tough corporate worker and decide to pop out babies instead.
So yeah, I have what they want and now even though they ignored my geeky self back in high school, they're looking for any clean dick they can get, no aids, nice size, all that. And they THINK that all they have to do is play cute and feminine to get us to be their boy toy. Silly rabbits, I'm not dumb like a lot of guys. Women are ruthless manipulators especially when they realize their looks are soon to fade. Then they bend over backwards for what they desperately want before divorcing you and running away with the riches. It's sad but women look at men as nothing more than money and sex.
I THOUGHT I was supposed to become a good husband, protector, lover, and jedi Knight for my lady who I'd gladly die for, but women ruined it for themselves. That side of me is now completely gone. Women wanted to be men, they decided to raise their sons alone, and now they're wondering why men aren't being the old school chivalrous type anymore. You fucked up. Admit it and stop blaming men for not MANNING UP when you took away their whole entire reason for doing so in the first place.
I think about girls all the time but none of them are girls anymore. It's nice to tell a little girl that she can be anything she wants to be, even a man, but woowwww when she hits 18 she's on her knees sucking cock for money no matter how cute she was a baby. I never really thought about it until now. I was raised by my mother who taught me NOTHING about girl's attitude towards men and so as she grows older she's THINKING i'm gay because I'm not a man yet. Fucking bitch, just makes me want to just die realizing how cluelss women are. They know nothing about how men develope but they don't care, they'll pretend they do. Somebody needs to kick their asses, seriously...
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