fuck, gotta say tonight I wish I was back in the 90s

I really do.

Just, I mean. recently I'm pathetically watching nothing but old TGIF shows. I'm fucking 28 year old man watching loads of old 90s sitcoms at my age now like a dumbass.

I mean, I want to sit and watch fucking Girl meets world, I reaaaallly do. I loved boy meets world as a kid. Wouldn't mind seeing how the characters grew up and changed, but it just doesn't feel right to go back to watching topanga and corey etc. and I feel funny watching a bunch of little girls running around on tv. Like, it didn't matter to me as a kid, I didn't think sexually about it, but now, 28 watching a bunch of cute teenage white girls, very bad idea.

I'm like, mad at myself more or less for not having done things differently and worked harder in college or something and now here I sit, yeah I'm not that bad off, I'm going to be moderately wealthy as I get older, but I just don't know what to do now. I never thought about what I'd do with my fucking life. Never thought.

I'll be honest with you all. I just truly dedicated my life to Star Wars. That's all I ever cared about and I still care about Star Wars, shit, sounds silly but since I was a kid and that movie blew my brain out of my head, that's all she wrote, I was a star wars fan for life.

Now here I sit and fucking they're making new star wars starring the original crew, I'm so fucked in the head over this, I don't even know where to begin... I mean, my life has had its shit, especially the bullshit regarding superman returns, but to be witness to the creation of the final star wars trilogy, is ABOVE and BEYOND anything I would have possibly dreamed of or imagined... God damn, am I lucky to have somehow lived this long, very lucky...

I think about what to do now and indeed one thing that comes to mind is to be a guardian to the next generation coming up now. I have to tell you guys, GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK, I'm not going to go around punching 10 year olds! I was punched as a 10 year old! Why would I go do that to some cute little kid? You serious?

It offends me to be pinned as some kind of bully to kids, yeah I'll be tough on them at times, but I'm not going to try to shit on them or their lives, not in the least. If they can enjoy their childhood even half as much as I enjoyed mine, that makes me happy.

I think about what it'd be like to actually get a girlfriend and have some kids. I think about it, I could do it, one wonders what would happen. Would I know what I was doing. Would I do a good job teaching them and guiding them through life?

Me, I'm personally all about sex. I want to get a girl strip her naked, fuck her silly, I'm all about that side of life so I wouldn't leave my kids ignorant about it, they'd get the full fucking 100% lesson on sex up front and center without hesitation. I can't believe I've been left up to the wind and blue sky to figure out sex, but no way in hell would I do that to my own kids, no way.

What else... basically be a cool parent. I'd never be too authoritarian. I'd kinda spoil them honestly if I had it my way. Get the best toys, best electronics, everything. If I had it my way I'd have my daughter be like bulma and my son be like goku. He'd be the warrior, she'd be the brains. That'd work out great imo.