Thinking about procreation process

I mean, what have I been doing all these years as I went to school for the most part. And now I'm struggling to find my identity and also simply get jobs. But overall the most complex aspect of my life is learning about sex and how that whole process works. I get a job, then a couple months into it, I bail. Mainly because I'm still ignorant as fuck about sex. Everybody at work goes home and fucks and has a good fucking time, me, I'm still fucking wondering what it's like to fuck, at 28 like a dumbass.

I'm not even a ugly dude, I goddamn SHOULD have at least gotten some ass by this goddamn point in my life.

How I got here, sitting here today without having boned a girl just once to get it over with, I do not know my friend. I do. Not. Know.

I did it all man. I lived the dream in this world, lived like a king in the 90s. Watching TGIF, Baywatch, Seinfeld, Friends, fucking all the 90s good shows and stuff I saw it all, only to end up sitting here at 28 jacking off to porn.

FUCKING SAD.

I mean yeah, I do indeed want to fuck. I do indeed intend to slide my dick into a girl's pussy and watch her squeeze out a kid. I do indeed want to go forward and do all that shit. I feel like it, yeah, I want to fucking tear a girl in two with my dick.

But the idea of raising a kid is a tough aspect of life to grasp for me. I don't have a damn clue about that side of life and indeed it's a big step and one that will indeed be a massive undertaking. You got to be a real tough guy to handle raising kids. You really do...

But I can tell you this. As you can see, I'm an artist. Been one since I was 5. When you're a artist, sometimes you feel like having kids would actually limit you creatively and that's a big deal to someone like me. I mean yeah you will lose something by having to worry about kids. VS being free to dream and create anything you want. Me I have unlimited potential as I sit here. I'm 28, still a virgin. I COULD go back to college, finish up by the age of 31 or some shit and then get a BIG TIME big money job and never have to look at shitty manual labor for the rest of my life. It's possible. However I'm hesitant to go down that road because of the just massive amounts of treachery and serious lack of discipline and of course the most heinous thing to me, the way people are very devious and the word being, duplicitous.

I mean there's no law out there in the jungle. SHOULD I trust the college system and just go in there, hang out in the college dorms, do all that fucking homework and term papers, and then good for me, I get a big time job. Or is it that a bunch of white guys are just laughing their asses off at the fact that they got me to go study and work my ass off to suddenly become more useful instead of being  another stupid regular idiot black guy in this world. Sadly I realize that's EXACTLY what's going on in this world. The point of it all, the whole college shit, is indeed to get blacks to stop acting so fucking niggerish and urkel it up.

I mean really that's what white people want, to figure out the hardest question, how the FUCK can they turn black people into more fucking pleasant people to be around instead of the norm which is that yeah, nobody wants to hang out with black people in any capacity whatsover.

I mean I don't want to admit it but it's simply true. Black people can't be hung out with, just can't and white people know it. They'll act all rowdy and stupid at a drop of the hat, saddest thing I ever seen in my life. A group of white kids sit around discussing the complexities of science, and politics, a group of black kids sit around talking about how much dick they think each other sucks.


But back to my main point. I don't see it. I don't see myself spawning a kid, just don't. I think it's not meant to be. Indeed I was always aware that I had some sort of super jedi powers. And hell maybe it's true. maybe I am a jedi and that means I don't get to fuck a bitch. But hell no, no way. I'm going to get some ass some goddamn day, just probably pound her in the ass so we don't have to worry about no kids coming out that booty hole.