Molding the body and all there is is Sex

Gotta say I made the right decision. I was thinking, hmm stay on the water diet or take in some protein and try to see how effective that is in fat loss.

I can't stress enough how important protein is in fat loss. Not only does it repair broken down muscle tissue after a workout, but it releases glucagon which actually initiates the fat burning process in the body's cells. So protein is THE thing to eat if you want to burn fat.

Going to try getting ripped if possible. I'd like to look better than I do, honestly. It'd be a boon in life, and ultimately personally satisfying if I could achieve the musculature that I've dreamt of since childhood days...

Thinking about what that dude said during bmt, about how there's nothing more to life but sex. Wow, why isn't that core curriculum in school. Just basically say to every kid, yanno, all those dreams you have, all those hopes, all those expecations, don't matter. All we are here to do is fuck. And if you're a fag, sucks to be you...

I wish I was told that earlier, wouldn't have done what I thought was right and stayed away from girls because now it's like, I'm this person who's stuck between worlds. Childhood and adulthood and there's nothing I can do to change it. And it's doubly hard to be stuck in this rut, when you got a lot of people concerned with who you're personally going to end up fucking at some point.

Yanno, I don't know. I will concede that I don't really know a damn thing about sex. I masturbate like anybody does. It's no fucking secret what we do as people. All races all over the world are slamming a girl's booty and she's loving it.

Problem is, it's like you clearly see a porn star getting fucked, but out here in reality, apparently nobody is fucking, which is of course not true. All those little teenagers and of course grown men and women are fucking all day if they can. Which is strange that we're still trying to live under that 50s leave it to beaver mindset, when you can easily find videos of a girl getting her ass impaled deep by a dude's dick. Yanno... it's like, why the hell are we trying still to this day to hide kids from what they'll eventually be doing at some point... Hopefully. You want them to turn gay? Or what?

I don't know man, it's a shock to me to have this constant need for sexual release. It's like, what the fuck... and I can't say no to it. IT's BIGGER than me.

I have to bow down and say I can't beat my sex drive. I really fucking can't. I can try all day. I'll just end up jacking off again...

And that really is disappointing about life, that I just end up BOOM all I want to do is fuck, that's it? Yanno... that's so retarded it's upside down... I believe there's something more to life. Education, greater heights, whatever... I always dreamt of doing and accomplishing MORE than just fucking my wife. Yeah, I did... I always considered myself to be someone who'd break the trend.

And maybe I will... That's the glimmer of hope that I still have left, the only thing that keeps me kinda sane amidst the madness is that I AM like this kinda super-human for staying out a female's body for this long.

it makes me feel like I'm better than ordinary people, like a super hero. But what the hell, if I had some ass in front of me right now, I'd fuck the shit out of it, without a moments hesitation. One of the worst parts of my life today vs as a kid is that I cannot go ANYWHERE at all without wanting to pounce onto a hot girl's body and fuck her senseless...

It's so hard to live like this. But I think it'll turn out for the best. Man, if you have a kid to worry about 24/7, it's a different thing. Yanno. But not me. I'm just hanging around working on my static movie, ghostbusters stuff, and eventually going to get a job again and hopefully I'll have gotten this body into the shape I intend.

That's what's actually GOOD about my life now is that I've finally figured out how to lose weight and get fit. I wish schools taught this but they don't, at least black schools. I can imagine you go to a white community and they don't play. They give you the raw deal, about every way possible to optimize your body's functioning through fitness and nutrition. Yanno... you darn tootin. It must piss white people off that they give their kids the world and some of them turn out fags or some shit. But hey, if you like dick in your butt you like dick in your butt...