About the future

I'm starting to enjoy blogging. My big shot lawyer sister told me to start one to enhance my writing skills or whatever, but I thought it'd just be a glorified diary and wasn't the manly thing to do etc... But it's not that bad... it's like you have someone to talk to I guess who might or might not be listening to what you have to say. Well, I have stuff to get off my mind and I might as well put it somewhere rather than keep it locked up in my noggin.

About me:

I'm 22 years old, currently working at JFK airport post office making sure people in switzerland get their weird stuff on time. I have some college under my belt, but obviously not enough since I'm so lame at writing like most fancy college grads. I dropped out due to complex reasons, mainly money which is why I'm now enlisting in the Airforce to hopefully get a free ride to a degree. I learned too late that ya can't be black without a degree, sure, you can, but don't expect any kind of common respect from average folks unless you're a really really good guy. Having been on the streets for a while, there's no one who looks at the common black guy wearing his jeans and hoodie as a person to get to know, at least immediately. I guess they've never met one that didn't mug them. It's a sad cycle. The more whites are racist, the more blacks rebel against society, the more whites get mugged, the more whites are racist... and around and around...

It's not as if all blacks are thugs though. I hate them. I've been bullied by them, mugged, the works... yet ironically now I'm on their level whenever I go out looking like I usually do. Can't win, just find a way to live in peace...

I was talking to my mom today about what how long I'll be enlisted for. I don't know... Forever maybe. I don't have much else planned in life but to see if we ever figure out why we're here. Oh and of course I want to help save some lives in some capacity. It's astonishing to me to see so many snobby people on the subway daily who are more worried about their hair and makeup, and whatnot about their appearance than about the wars, famine, starving children, millions who go ignored by the powers out there yet could very well be given hope for a better next day, just blows my mind.

But who am I to talk. I became addicted to the internet and spent months going to war over superman's stupid cape color or whatever. Never doing that again...

I'm not that smart, but I know this much. Life's too short to waste it worrying about your own problems too much. All this war is stupid and based on people's personal feelings more than anything important. I guess I've decided to be a pacifist, funny that I'm joining the military. But the airforce isn't a serious combat branch. It's about mental muscle, which I'm hoping I can kick back into gear by the time I go for training. I haven't done serious studies in a long time. OH man...

My dad was enlisted from an early age too, looks just like me in his official airforce photo, learned how to be an aircraft engineer, has tons of text books full of mathematics I can't understand, yet he's such a well odd person and doesn't know how to use a computer. I don't know how good their education system is... Anyway, times have changed. I'll have to get into the computer tech field since that's what I'm into anyway, and I know it'll be useful if I ever leave the airforce and need a job. Everything's going to be computers in the future, everything, and the last thing they need is someone who majored in psychology to fix their network or whatever. I'll likely become one of those guys who knows the inside and outside of a computer network and how to get it to do whatever is needed but couldn't figure out how to build one from scratch or do the complex math needed to program its operating system. Those guys, damn, just damn...