The burden of Leadership

I never wanted to be a leader. I just didn't have any plans for that or anything growing up. I went to school because I was told to. I got this job at JFK because I was told to. I don't know who I am or what I truly want really, outside of hot naked sex.

I don't know what to think sometimes... I look around me and see super old adults who are dumb. I see people online who define themselves as true adults by their ability to out-think most anyone. There's nothing wrong with that, but you're in the minority. Most people are insanely stupid and it takes an incredible amount of tolerance to continuously deal with them on a daily basis.

I'm earning my stripes I guess. Why can't anything be easy, just once. I'm black, I've had a rough childhood, I'm still a virgin, the entire internet hates me, and I'm black, meaning I can't go anywhere without being pinned as a criminal. I've no intention of hurting anyone, especially considering that I'm a pacifist. What do I do in a world that isn't kind to me anyway?

And about the burden of leadership. What that means is this, I worked hard in highschool because I wanted to become an astronaut, then my sex drive kicked in and just screwed everything up, since today women don't cares about us nerds. They like the goddamn asshole. Anyway, I went on to college since I felt that was my chance to set things right, but the lack of sex was even more a problem there since you're already expected to have done it in every position by then and of course my parents didn't understand that and just think I'm trying to spite them. Being black and dropping out of college, your one chance for an ounce of respect from most whites? Well that's not going to go over well. I'll definitely finish some time in the future since I want my respect damnit and it's a shame how most black kids don't have good role models...

For now I've decided to gather my bearings after the ridiculous internet nonsense I foolishly engaged in as a way of escaping reality... sigh... live and learn.

Oh I forgot to explain the burden of leadership. It would seem since I'm so damn smart, when I'm dealing with people who are your everyday joes, well I have to seriously calculate and measure what I say so as not to confuse anyone or stir up any misinterpretations. I now know what's the point of college, to get people to communicate effectively. Miscommunication is a constant worry on my mind when I'm at work since I don't want to send the wrong message or sound like I'm condescending or sarcastic. It's no doubt what most white people have to do when talking with blacks who for whatever reason don't have similar education levels or whatever.

I know what to do, but when pushed around by these guys, I just want to tear them apart with some serious insults that would likely leave them feeling sour for hours. But I don't. I grit my teeth and let that stuff just be. Such is the burden of leadership.