I've decided to get off my ass and go jogging now. I have to say though that I hate masterbation. My sister said it's normal but something's not right with this. If I stop, I feel like crap then if I do it, I feel good for about a minute then my brain starts aching on the left side, like there's numbness in it. I don't understand it but it's been like that for a long while. I'm worried that I'm developing my father's mental disorder which through my research I've learned is hereditary.
Sucks don't it, I think. Being black and then having to deal with potential psychotic stuff. That's why I'm never too serious. I know there's more serious things to worry about out there and I like to lighten the hell up about life rather than always get into drama over every flappin thing.
Let me tell you about my dad.
He has schizophrenia. That means he hallucinates, changes personalities, etc. And he's the toughest son of a bitch I will ever know. I respect him but I can never tell him how much because he's such a jerk about everything. If he wasn't so damn mean I'd like to get to know him better because he's lived. He's got experience, so much to teach, but when it comes down to it I can't talk to him without feeling kind of ashamed of him. He's just weird. Anyway that's all there is to that. Yeah...
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