Revenge of the sith: Final thoughts

Some focus has gone back to star wars due to that plinkett fellow's review of revenge of the sith. It's a fitting final nail in the coffin for the franchise. Hopefully the prequels will be nothing more than a misstep in an otherwise golden period in film history that was the original star wars films.

first a little history to set the stage. i am here today because of star wars, as in, I'm on the web etc. Most of these movie sites that are hugely popular and have indeed become full careers for a lot of nerds is a result of the prequels and special editions. I witnessed them grow, way back in the days of dialup as I scavenged daily for any little nuggets of info on tpm. I got through high school because of star wars. literally, it was all I had. On one side was the daily bullshit of highschool, and the other, the beauty and unlimited imagination of star wars.

In that sense I still have a fondness for the prequels, not for the films they are, which is shit, but for the cultural phenomenon they re-ignited. Star wars was nothing to me as a kid but some fantasy looking thing on a cereal box. then when I asked my half sister wtf this star wars shit was, she told me it was great, that luke loses a hand, and stuff that just blew my kid brain. I had to see this so I... well, I got the se for christmas and the rest is history, my life was star wars after that. Funny thing is that I remember seeing empire strikes back on cable some time waaay the fuck back before hearing about star war's legendary status and I thought it was some tv show or something, didn't register that it was a star wars movie, had no idea... but I remember thinking it was really epic and cool, way moreso than it actually is...

And that's how it is kind of again, I'm getting back to not giving a damn about star wars the way I used to as a kid, but I'm too emotionally invested in the franchise to just let it go... just means too much...

well I'm driven to say my piece on revenge too tonight. Lucas just threw up his hands and quit, you can just tell, he didn't care anymore about creating enduring works of art, and just said "fuck it" It happens to artists, as they sell out, lose the passion etc. Or in this case, the force.

The film pretends to be deeper and darker than it ever had a chance of being following the shitty nonsense before it. And sinks to the level of shoving violent and gruesome images down our throats as a 'quick and easy' way of making itself seem dark and adult. There's shocking images, and then there's an image of a character you've gotten to know for so long losing a hand and learning his father's pure evil, something lucas should have known about and most likely did, but just didn't care anymore. It's called subtlety, less is more. Mystery, drama, emotional attachment. This stuff is absent from the new movies because they're too cluttered with bullshit, like a jack of all trades master of none.

Yes you have a shit load of cgi flying around, but I don't care.
I know you have a guy with fifty lightsabers, but I don't care.
Oh indeed, some jackass wants to save his wife from dying, but I don't care, he's an asshole.

And on and on and on...

Maybe I'm too old, I think, maybe if I was 10 I'd love the prequels, yeah... not really. I never liked the feel of tpm compared to the originals. The best parts were the parts that didn't include jar jar in the least, or involve the stupid frog guys. Just maul, the jedi, the war stuff, heaven. Then I watch the originals, and that's prettymuch all they are, jedi, war, and darth vader, so wtfffffffffffffffffff was all the other stuff for?

And it just keeps getting piled on film after film, now we got yoda unnecessarily weilding a blade like he's some rookie who just learned to swing one, then there's the crap with jedi ghosts not really being explained, nor palpatines appearance, or the force itself really. The orignal film didn't just say there was such a thing as magic fairy powers and not tell you what it was, but that's precisely what the prequels want you to do, just roll with whatever the fuck the characters seem to be talking about... I dare say, I'd have been a bit confused by these movies as a kid.

At least star wars was not dumb, in fact it's the reason I liked it in the first place, they were smart movies, almost like watching a complex novel on screen, shit that happened in the first movie paid off in the last movie, things were paralleled, there was SUBTLETY, characters grew and changed, there was order and thought put into them, not like a lot of other movies. The prequels throw all this away and bring star wars down to the level I always believed it was above.

And the joke is, when the fx become outdated on them, there's nothing left to keep you interested. EVERY videogame out these days is just as action packed and shit as the prequels action scenes, and they suffer the same problem though they can get away with it, of not having anything to become emotionally attatched to on screen.

Granted, I'm speaking from the perspective of a grown negro, who KNOWS now more than as a child how movies are made, but still I DARE you to convince me that the craftsmanship of the prequel story even comes anywhere near making as much sense as the one for the original. It simply doesn't. And that's why it fails. Not because of the fx or style before substance, but because the story is stupid.

Just sitting here I can remember the essence of the original characters as they are apart from the actors portraying them, their souls. The only one I recall at all in the preqs is Obi-wan and he wasn't given shit to do really but chill in the first movie, then bitch in the second, and GOD knows what in the third film.

I LOVED waiting for the movies, I HATED the films, And I wish I could get that time I wasted back, but I'll look on the bright side and say I enjoyed dreaming of star wars' beginnings all those years. Too bad really, that they failed.

Big masses of gravititty

I'm just a ramp agent and all, don't know nuttin bout no science, but been watching some documentaries on astronomy and it hit me, really, why does all this shit exist? We got theories about a big bang, like some kind of bomb went off and we're the remains of gazillions of years of some explosion. Bang, like sex, explosion, like a fucking orgasm, right... oh you sneaky science nerds.

Then i think about the word hot. Used often colloquially to denote a female's level of attractiveness. And of course superficially it doesn't make sense, what's a girl's temp have to do with anything sexual. In my mind it's related to life itself. We are dependent on a very HOT ball of gas called the sun, which besides water, is the catalyst for all life on this planet and possibly life anywhere else in the universe. granted they have a source of heat. In that respect, girls too are a source of life for our species. Therefore girls who are sexually attractive are considered hot or in my mind full of energy, aka life itself.

But what other words do we use to describe a female in her peak breeding period. We call them babes, obviously derived from the word babies. Which needs no explanation. Something I've thought of, what's up with calling girls chics. Why are they like birds? Bitches I can understand, because they're a lot like pets. I guess it's the way they look, kind of like birds big rumps and all. And the high pitched voices sound like chirping at times. though I think cows would be more appropriate a comparison.

I propose a more nutritional word be used to describe girls because they're supposed to be a source of food when they start lactating from their nipples. I have this idea of calling them tasty, delicious, yummy, candy, things like that.

things change

Most interesting. I've been looking into it and I may be able to save a lot of money by not buying a new xbox but an old one and just swapping out parts, hopefully the dvd drives are similar enough to pull this off. I don't want to spend too much, especially after experiencing this blizzard and becoming trapped at jfk with no money, no way home. I'm lucky enough at the moment not to have to pay rent as I simply go to work and pay my car insurance. saving what i can here and there. some people are not, what an eye opener, if i didn't have a penny to my name, i'd be eating out of the garbage.

no wonder everyone's clinging to any little job they can with all their might.

laptop seems to be working ok, not perfect, still glitchy from the water that got in it and probably on its last legs as a computer, but i simply don't have the money to burn on a new machine, hopefully this one's system remains stable enough to complete my plans. It afterall has my spanish program on it. Good stuff, and somewhat useful since i do encounter people who don't sqq--0p[[-[qpqqqqqqqqqqqqqoiqpioioqqqoq, see qqqqii its glitching whenver i press o the q kqeyqi key goes nuts.... hmmm... gunna have ta werk ths thng...

Radiator hose

I bought my nieces and nephew an xbox 360, expensive damn thing, but much better in my opinion than a ps3 or wii since it has all the latest gaming capability and hd graphics, and can I believe anyway be hacked without interference from microsoft, lol I don't know, but I can't really support the wii because it's not much more than a fancy game cube. I bought myself an xbox too but I was stupid and didn't check if it had an hdmi port before buying it and of course it doesn't, its an old school xbox, so my only option since there's really no way to convert the a/v signal without a lot of complex fucking crap, I'll just get another xbox. I want to get it to play call of duty and halo and all this great shit that I've been locked out on because I want to keep my ps3 hackable. You'll see. I just got to get the money.

I'll have to take a risk and just blow my next paycheck on a new xbox and netbook computer. Hopefully a cheapy one for maybe 200 square dollars, nothing fancy. I know I'll probably be in about 500 for my next check. So I'll try to save 200 from that and do whatever the hell I want with the rest. I need a new laptop, got the other one wet ya see and since then it's been malfunctioning. So it's done.

Oh and turns out that one little radiator hose bursting can completely disable a car's engine. How stupid, one little thing and it's over, no go for launch. Hell of a thing to pin your trip on. had to replace 2 that burst and leaked water, and it still seems to be damaged though I'm not sure what's wrong now, but the temperature in the engine is stable so whatever...

lotta flights cancelled today at delta, so I'm free blog and so on...

tron legacy

this movie's going to be the new phantom menace. a movie that will divide fans of tron, purists, and total noobs to the franchise. like phantom it's got parts that are genius stuff and others that make you want to kill the director, mixed bag for sure... but one wonders how it'll be perceived not by grown ass men and women who grew up on tron, but by its target audience, little stupid kids. They will eat it up, claim it to be a masterpiece, and... I'm ok with that.

I notice the completely unnecessary addition of edward dillinger jr. the cliche dialogue, Tron being just some dude in the background prettymuch, the in my opinion miscasting of sam flynn, and lack of interesting side characters but let me tell you something... i loved shit like this as a kid. I honestly can't sit through the original star wars anymore, not that I don't recognize its genius, but it really was all about the first completely naive stupid kid journey, not old fart watching a kids movie that we have too much of now.

It's a debate in itself really, is it ok to overlook a movie's flaws if the movie's able to be enjoyed by children?

I used to watch anything on tv that would be somewhat enjoyable, even shitty sequels to classic movies, just because I loved the characters and wanted to see them do stuff for longer, i'm talkin superman 3, 4, which back then i had no real hangups over, just loved me some supey, then rocky sequels, loved rocky so i didn't care how stupid things got, and on and on and on, movies like these anyway get a break from me. But what about movies that really have no excuses for being bad, had all the time in the world to be given a fine polish, wtf star wars prequels etc. Is it ok for them to come up short and still get a free pass cuz some dumbass kid thought it was the shit.

I think the only way to figure this out is to remember what you didn't like to see in movies and shit as a kid, what didn't keep you interested or entertained... I know i didn't like power rangers turbo, no where near the craftsmanship of the first movie, obviously lower budget and no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't fit it in logically with the first movie. same with the casper sequels, obviously shittier and shittier, home alone 3 rings a bell, saw that one and just said wtf was this shit, though I could sense that some kind of effort was made to make a good film, it was just no where near the brilliance of the original. so there is a standard kids have. and i believe legacy exceeds it mainly due to the clever writing in places and the coolness factor, it's not a bad movie, nor one that will really change the world of cinema.

like i said, phantom menace all over again. people compare it to superman returns but that movie really i think didn't want to be connected to the old movies, it just ended up not knowing what it wanted to be, and it's not like any of the actors came back for it or anything...

The most appropriate comparison is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, though i feel Legacy is better than that piece of shit by a mile.

Kids

:p cute, and adorable, and all that ridiculous awful bullshit. Lollerama, really I have no interest in having any of them because I think that'd be more like torture than anything to bring a clone of me into this world to suffer longer. But alas they exist continuously, and i know exactly why. Most parents don't have kids to raise them right or give them a good safe life, no no no, they have them for the purpose of having a companion or buddy who will always be around and can't leave really or even hurt them in any way. From the outside in, it looks like one thing, but the reality is not as pretty I tell you. kids are toys for grown men and women to play with and use as a shield against the cruel world we live in. I've observed it too many times as I sat on the subway watching a mother showing off her kid like she or he was a badass new barbie, and it's a status boost too, the people who are in control of society and decide everything are parents.

Now i'm not going to blanket everyone in this statement not like a lot of other people would, i'm not that kind of guy, there are some people who have kids to make their life awesome and cool and who actually care about them, but that's very rare. Sex is too incredibly satisfying and as such we get a bunch of immature dipshits out there who are in charge of kids lives and people like me, who would if given the opportunity do whatever was necessary for their child's wellfare, are beaten down and ridiculed by society who's animal instincts are their primary motivation.

How then is one to navigate such a convoluted mess of conflicting idiologies regarding proper lifestyle choices. Indeed it is a political debate, one which time and again has ended the same, with a blunt, COME NEAR MY FAMILY AND YOU DIE or FUCK ALL FAGS mentality that continues to feed the persistant thought process of those in authority.

I honestly don't know.

I hate black people

No doubt the feeling many niggers out there besides me have. Just something i've thought about today. One of the things i took away from the military was not only their racist views from their kkk club they got up in there, but the self hatred amongst other blacks who in my opinion were granted access to some white ass and therefore betrayed other blacks for the massive social boost that inevitably comes with lighter skin. But my hatred doesn't stem from anything like that, not that i couldn't easily get some white pussy meat, it's seeded in my life experience growing up in mt vernon ny, a wretched hive of niggers and thievery...

I've been through a lot of stupid shit, but that experience takes the prize, 1st place motherfucker, awful school, awful kids, the whole damn thing. I wish it was all gone, destroyed. To continue to this day to put kids through that hell, just ridiculous.

ok, lets get to the real question, WHY black kids, all kids are stupid fucks. Good question...


brb

im back.

Because black kids don't think they are black. I guess it comes down to blind idiocy, but as a black kid growing up, I met some of the most racist black kids EVER. the way they pranced around feeling like the world loves them, and oh im going to be the boss at my job when i grow up such utter lack of vision of what was right in front of them... i mean, I knew at least by the time I was in about 6th grade that the world hated me and that there was a serious difference between the potential for me and the potential for the sweetest nicest and most loveliest white kids i had the complete pleasure of meeting during my brief glances into the white life style... oh man... and i didn't even know about the ridiculous advantages girls would have, but yeah, basically for some reason a lot of black kids think they're the shit. so stupid, like i mean, i've met guys who look like straight out of africa but they bully the fuck of me because I'm not as ruthlessly sadistic as their fucking monkey ass. If you want to know why white guys set up the work world to keep blacks down, THESE ASSFUCKS ARE THE REASON... hell i'd even say these same guys once they realize all women love jackasses, and they get the decent job, just like in boyz n the hood, they go around trying to protect white people from other blacks, which is kind of the way things are here at work, niggers in favoritism with the upper crust don't want to get fired so they act against other niggers... and that's why I can't stand them. They're no loyalty, and i don't need any science bullshit, I just know from experience probably all black kids hate other black kids like they don't want to be part of the same lower class.

ugh...

Raven 2

I feel her inside me. I can't explain it, just is what it is... like she's alive. I don't get it though... what goes through a father's head when he has a daughter, like does he think she's going to become anything great or just another dumb golddigging slut like the rest of all women. honestly saddens me, thinking about the inevitable outcome. I mean, i watch porn day and night, and I wonder what all these bitches getting slammed in their anuses used to think about their future when they were kids. Girls were always the smartest kids in school, how the hell does it end up backwards like this later in life... nature... i guess. Gotta make those babies.

Bosses are Bitches

I've had like 4 bosses so far, supervisors, one a pretty hot asian slut, another in my second job a pretty cool african guy, the other a complete asshole, and now at Delta some jackasses who want to make their deadlines and look good to their own superiors and to hell with me... sigh... what is up with this kind of attitude from people lately, oh we'll whoop your ass if you don't do what we want... I just recently got a taste of their bad attitude, much like in the military, jobs don't care about you, you're just a number, everything is paper work, period.

Alright first of all, I love how most of the guys working in these bagrooms are black and hispanic and the people above them are mostly white, granted we for some reason have a few white dudes sprinkled about on our mostly black dominated bagrooms and ramps, mostly because this is all they have, or they can't get any other kind of job due to some problem, or whatever... but generally the racism is all too obvious.

which makes the fact that my black boss is making threats at me kind of sad and sickening, just how desperate he is to keep his position in society that he's willing to suck the dicks of the white guys above him. Incredible, but not unexpected since that's just the way things are really. Men don't care about other men worth shit. As long as i got my house, and my pussy, fuck you.

I guess this is why we have unions. Like, the reason i'm posting this is because yesterday at work, the dude who's been 'faking' being nice to me, flipped the switch which I knew he would, when he jumped to the conclusion that I was avoiding work, which I wasn't. Another supervisor told me to do the arrivals, which is what I was doing all day. This jackass, scared shitless that he'd have someone breathing down his neck for a lack of work getting done, practically loses it and tries to hammer me, before realizing he was full of shit, and assigning me to a pier. I'm telling you without a union stupidity like this would likely lead to you getting permanent shit on your record you can't fight... i guess, i've honestly lost faith in good winning out...I know you're worried about losing your job asshole, but think before you go looking for someone to blame.

This happened before too at my last job. I work at a fucking airport with ear protection, so it's hard to hear what people say. So when i didn't hear someone tell me to guide my co worker in to the aircraft, which I've never done before and don't really know how to do anyway, they usually do it without a guide even though it's not right, it's not always done, fucker goes nuts when his own superior takes issue with it and he immediately turns on me as the sole reason for anything. Then there's just the general fact that at swissport, you really are nothing to them, just a dog or horse to get work done and if you show signs of not being happy with their constant abuse, they scream and yell and bang the walls like children wanting a new toy, it's the worst.

WOW. anyway, some say get a college edumacation to avoid dealing with retarded asshats with too much power, but it's bullshit. 1. college is just another business that exists to make money. 2. The fuckers telling you to go there just want you to either be kept out of the way or become a better potential employee for them. As a male, you're meat to some big business that needs to hire a body a human resource and put him to work so his little wage can pale in comparison to the profit being made. Honestly, what are you going to do if not sucking on the dicks of the wealthy upper crust? things have been made as such that you don't have a choice. You're just a modern day slave. But they call it a job and you get paid with money rather than well, not getting food and shelter from your overseer.

went to island of adventure

shit was great. i wish i went there years ago when we had the chance, back when I believe my father, sister, and I went to grandma's house in orlando. We went to the old park because, well, it's the orignal, must kick island of adventure's ass, right? NOPE. If you're wondering which park to choose, definitely go to the islands of adventure, you will not be dissappointed. cost 82 bucks, but it was worth every penny and more considering the great attractions and rides, just amazing stuff.

Tron rebooted

gotta say although the main character in it reminds me too much of a faggy backstreet boy, the film looks interesting. Finally sat through all of the original Tron, and I gotta say, i like it... yes, kind of convenient that at the same time a supercomputer goes crazy, they also just happen to have a honey i shrunk the tron, whatever, I rolled with it... it was the 80s, time for crazy scifi shit, and the movie's actually quite good. visually the fx still hold up, really excellent excellent craftsmanship and animation, should expect no less from disney back then really. There's depth to the film, a message about the dangers of becoming too dependent on technology to handle everything. Having taken the original journey, I DO want to see what happens next after flynn takes over encom. Apparently he somehow gets sucked back into the game grid again, which is just fucked up honestly. He should know better. we'll see.

and I keep seeing girls all over the place... interesting, to be so close to something you want, but yet so very far. Saw this girl though on the bus, just had this toughness to her, ya know, like she was a warrior at heart, got to me, that did.

bought a piano, gonna learn it since my fingers are big enough now to reach all the keys. I know I can because I taught myself to draw, I know quite a bit of spanish now after studying it for a while, and I'm typing rather effortlessly after having been doing it for years since i learned how way back as a kid.

Ender Begins

I'm begining the planning stages for the final complete version of my ronda wigglesworth saga. The final opponent in the series will be a character I've invented named ENDER (Experimental Nano Device Evolving Rapidly) or something. her true origins are unknown at first, but we learn more about her later on as ronda battles the 7 galactic guardians in ss5 (or ss4U) mode after she fuses with jasmine, queen of kuntamba, who posseses great mystical powers. It is after all this that ender rises, first against eve who encounters her in one of her time quests, then ender returns through time to defeat the one person who could stand in her way of complete domination, ronda. they both travel through time, impacting the events that already happened, making it seem like it was all destined to be this way. Then we learn ender's origins. It seems that the combination of verona and Lena's blood not only got verona pregnant, but Lena as well, but Lena didn't give birth to a person but a strange entity which didn't seem human and buried it. Discovered by the Galactians thousands of years after they invaded earth she was rejuvinated. This entity then grew under the guidance of the Galactians into ender several years into the future and possessed unbelievable levels of power. Combining with her sister Jade, she becomes complete. And Ronda must summon everything she has to stop this bitch.

I'll try to get it done in like 3 or 4 months if i can.

TS-gay

I was driving from work and hearing on the radio about how the tsa's been going too far with their searches. I thought to myself, why the heck are you checking a pilot's dick for possible bombs? he's the fucking pilot. if he wants to slam that plane into the middle of a school full of kids, he can. stupid, boneheaded practices. They finally wised up and put pilots and flight attendants on a waiver, but to even begin searching those guys for shit in the first place just shows how inept the people in charge of the tsa actually are...

Further more, as a ramp agent, I don't get searched nor go through metal detectors, I can if I choose blow up any plane i feel like blowing up. So yeah, good job.

I don't know what to tell you passengers, try to avoid the pat down procedures if you can, even if it means having to go through those new scanners that leave nothing to the imagination. It means very little in the long run, but whatever...better than having some guy feeling up your penis.

Planes and pains

Unbelievable job, being a ramp agent. I'm at work right now bored since i'm done with my scheduled flights but i don't leave till 8 so i have time to kill and I have to say the way they run these planes like trains in and out non-stop, is crazy. if we dedicated the time and effort we put into shuffling tons of baggage here and there to something that actually matters like feeding starving people or curing diseases, we'd have all that shit solved today, at least that's what i tell myself. it's just ridiculous what lengths an airline is willing to go to to make the assloads of cash they make. It's a numbers game. spend x amount for y amount of profit and to hell with how many people might get run over on the way there...

like in india, they're even crazier. I'm complaining but those guys over there would cut off their right nut to be able to have my job i'm sure. they're insane over there, hell, everywhere. why not, right? why not get a bunch of bottom of the barrel scrubs to do work on a project that will net millions in profit for you. there's no downside to it. And such a practice continues to pay in the bucketfulls because there's ALWAYS somebody out there who's willing to work for next to nothing.

that's sad. if people were smarter they'd hold these companies by the balls and demand a fair wage. but nobody can organize people enough for that kind of shit. there's always some dumb fuck who'll try lifting a car with his bare hands for a measly dollar. It's our own fault really. There's nothing special about the people who own these huge corporations, got to stop thinking they're super humans, they're just people with lots of money. And when you have a lot of money, you can controll people's very lives, get them to work for pennies while you make the real money off their broken backs.

I do this not because I plan to do this till I'm in a grave, or desperate for money, I've always LOVED airplanes, to be in their pressence on a daily basis is a pleasure in itself. However, the way they're run like soulless pieces of tin foil with wings that carry crap from one place to another certainly de-mystifies them for me. It's such a money money money game, faster you shovel the shit from new york to moscow, the more money, stupid and unspectacular. I hope to pilot some day maybe, but hell it's starting to seem like even being a pilot isn't that special either. come on, it's like being a mini-astronaut for god's sake.

Welcome Holmes

Damn, I'm seriously dissapointed with myself, i accidently got a deep crease in my drawing of eden during her battle with android v-1 (viper First generation) at school. I drew it to test my skills as i begin getting back into finally doing all the story over again, and one of the things that was always hard to do was keep the hundreds of pages clean. One time i re-did a much better version of my ronda vs marlboroo comic and then i don't know what happened, it got burned a little by the radiator or whatever, and it was just a complete tragedy my friends. I had such good drawings that were totally messed up.

oh well, gotta keep on movin. so fuck yeah the new sherlock holmes show is great. because it's a man's show about men being men, reminds me of a lot of great tv from the 90s that were about clever men going toe to toe with other clever men. live action wise, i'd have to mention x-files, pretender, fresh prince of bell air, etc. it's endless. todays tv sucks sorry.

so it's csi but with sherlock holmes instead of some know it all science cop or lawyer like in law and order. Having read holmes all my life i of course had to see if they got it right and besides the main actor being kind of baby-face-ish, they nailed it. Holmes seems to solve the mystery before he even knew it existed, perfectly accurate. I can't wait to see him whoop moriarty's ass.

they should make this a real regular series instead of a miniseries event thing, but alas, whatever... good tv can't be taken for granted. a lot of people compare him to house, probably right, but i hate house, complete prick, and extremely unprofessional in a medical environment to be acting so childishly belligerent, and besides that he's got nothing going on, no friends, no humanity, he's mr. bad attitude and that's all she wrote. holmes in the new show admits he doesn't care about the victims in the crimes he solves he's in it for the challenge, but at the same time, he seems to actually sort of treasure having someone to talk to about his mysteries even if he's only usuing watson as an outside ear or possible second opinion. wow, actual character, he's not just some robot. and that's what i like about this new holmes.

that makes me kind of actually care about whether he's got the goods to take on someone on his level, when the character's just this invincible super freak with no flaws, he gets boring. Like they kind of made a big deal out of whether holmes would give a shit if moriarty killed watson. it's left ambiguous whether holmes did or didn't care. I like that. Even if they eventually make holmes out to truly be a ruthless super genius, at least they didn't make him seem completely inhuman.

so the series cliffjhanger comes to a stalemate as holmes threatens to kill himself and moriarty at the same time. got to say i like how the guy plays moriarty as kind of this sick bizarro version of sherlock, he's not BAD, or the devil, he's just sherlock if he was a criminal, simple, kind of like the natural consequence of sherlock even existing is that if he exists so does his opposite. Of course sherlock won't shoot the gun, and of course moriarty won't kill sherlock, they need each other. very interesting what the future will bring from this series.

lust for suffering

I've got 2 things i want to write about... first is my trying to understand some of the behavior I've witnessed in other people. Granted, we will never achieve peace, but to come across folks who upon first meeting you wish you death, is not only terribly confusing but also extremely annoying. I, believe it or not, don't want anybody fighting anybody for any reason, yet some people it would seem are war mongers to the core.

first time i caught wiff of these people, at least post pubescent (kids are cruel yadda yadda, no need to go there, fuck kids) I'm talking beyond that, and it was at a forum i frequented that's probably still around today, a star wars forum where i delved into the deepest levels of star wars discussion and followed my passion for the series as it started up again with the new movies... some jackass was going around harassing everyone and totally blew my 16 year old mind when he layed me out with a KO post that completely devastated me. i look back and regret not shrugging that guy off. That's what that freak wanted, to get to me, WHY is the question... i guess there's a cheap thrill from slamming someone.

I know i have it some times, we lust for other's pain at times. but geez i'm talkin this guy was nutz,digging into everybody every day, like it was his whole life.

and it doesn't end there. some fat woman when i was looking for a job, went ape crazy when she saw my resume wasn't full of work. And she made a frown face at me as if she was ready to beat me up. I told her I was going to school. What was i 21 when this happened, and it was the truth, but i realize now that she was a fucking psycho bitch and nothing more. i should have ignored her and gone about my business. She wanted me to feel ashamed for not having a full time job by my age, make me feel off, but most people don't have their shit together yet, and so I was a dumb fuck for taking her seriously.

so apparently some people are crazy by choice. i know goddamnit that there are people who don't have a choice, they're born crazy can't think straight at all, but then there are those who are deliberately annoying jerks because they get a kick out of it. Thank god, I'm male and I rule the world, at least as far as a black guy's concerned.

Oh what else was it i was going to add, oh, I'm a delta airlines ramp agent, didn't know delta was the largest airline in the world when i signed up for it, pretty neat, anyway you passengers are killing us with the baggage.

1. stop packing your whole house, just essentials please. and 2. why the hell are you arriving for the flight something like 20 minutes before departure, we have to load your heavy shit 1 by 1 in the aircraft, so it's going to be a bitch to have no time to get it done. Sorry just had to get that out there, this job is brutal, but can be made a little more manageable with some help from the passengers. I guess they don't know a human being will be lifting their shit at some point.

raven

I think about sabrina frato alot, and why wouldn't I, she was the first girl i ever touched in any sexual way. I was I guess sneak attacked by her tits that day. Needless to say, i've never felt happier than that moment. It matters not now though, 'nevermore' will i see her, and so be it, it'd be a strange relationship, me always wondering if she's just an undercover agent looking for trouble. Kind of makes me suspicious of any future girls i might meet. EVERY and i mean EVERY girl i met on my little military adventure was a spy sent to mess with me.

they're just doing a job so don't take it personally though, right, just a job, day in day out same shit.

sure did make me think what having a wife and kids would be like though. never really seriously thought about it because it was such an impossible far far away concept, why give it much thought. something tells me though that such is my fate, as was reiterated by one of my mti's in the airforce, that it is unavoidable for a person like me, that these things called children will be existing at some point. i live with this knowledge with both dread and joy at the thought.

That's what I'll name the girl btw.

to boldly go

Artistic drive is a nebulous thing, often inconsistent and unpredictable. One day you'll have a great idea you're passionate about, the next you'll not know where to begin. i reside between these two extremes as I begin navigating the tumultuous seas of drawing my mini opus, one of 3 pieces i want to finish before i fuck off this planet, and although seriously determined to get it done, i don't know if it'll be my best effort since I'm literally redoing most of it.

like I said long ago, I threw it away when i found a girl i was interested in, no need for a mountain of porn anymore... still I've grown so fond of creating the stories, and drawing them etc, that I really still don't want to let it go. what's more I don't even know if I'm still as good as i used to be. No matter, the wheels are in motion and this thing's going forward whether I personally am satisfied with the results or not.

One cool thing that came about due to the creation of my Ronda character was meeting the real thing. As some kind of cruel joke, the military had some gorgeous woman imitate my beloved character right in front of me, fucked me right up seeing her in the flesh. they got everything right, her height, eye color, hair color, and curves, I analyzed everything withing the small time we met, whoever she was, she's good... such a unique situation that i never saw coming, but oh so mammorable.

punks

so i live a block away from my old high school. and now that schools back in full swing, i see the same old shit i saw damn near 10 years ago when i started going there, hard to believe it's been that long. but yeah since you start at 14 and im now 24, its been about 10 years. 6 since i finished. If i knew better i'd have never gone to high school at all, sure, you won't find many supporters of that since people have been brainwashed to not question the school system, but it really didn't help me in any way that matters to me now. so what was the point. all the stuff about hunting down employment I learned through the school of hard knocks, aka real life itself. I must conclude that high school's really nothing more than a big mini prison to keep young fuckers occupied for hours all day or something. Put these kids to work. wtf is the point of training them for years to do something that has shit squat to do with their ultimate occupation.

but most of all, i regret listening to both my parents and teachers about staying away from girls. Now I'm just annoyed and aggravated by how people who are digging deep into pussies every night are treating me as if I'm one of those guys who's, how do i put it,... generally a little asshole, that kid who doesn't care about anything but fucking. sure would like too. But I'm 24 the age when you're too old for the girls who'd spread their cheeks for you and too young and immature for the girls your own age. FUCK.

that was the biggest mistake i ever made, maybe it'll pay off and not seem like such a misstep, i don't know yet. I sit puzzled by the hypocritical views on sexuality held by very powerful and supposedly smart people. at this high school they have annual dances in which boys and girls are encouraged to hook up, and i guess figure out how to fuck after school? i don't know what the parents of the world want for the kids. why not be honest? why play games like this?

sigh sigh sigh. I mean, i had chances aplenty, was never averse to fucking the crap out of one my cutie classmates, of course not, but i believed it was better to avoid that stuff, dedicate my time to star wars etc. now HILARIOUSLY people want to toss me under a bus for not conforming to their expectations regarding old tired courting rituals and ultimately marriage itself.

it's too much for my mind to take in, since it's such a huge about face from the days of taking meaningless tests and getting accused of being gay daily, but i know if i try i can understand why people are so retarded. i just don't think it's worth the effort.

mumbuwumba

The REAL Old Busters!!!

i'm torn. soon this will air on tv, but for now it's been revealed that bill murray, perhaps for the last time in his career as an actor has put on his old duds as a ghostbuster, why i don't know... he's either losing it with old age, or he's hinting that gb3 is on the horizon. But looking at him and having seen indy 4's shitbombing of the indy name, i'm not as excited as i should be about it. I want a gb3 more than anybody, and I'll take an awful gb over another shitty seth rogen comedy any day, by god, but it has to be....

i don't even want to realize it's a gb movie until they pull out the proton packs. it can't be a nostalgia fest like so many of these movies end up being. and in fact the second movie was to some extent. dare i say it has to be an actual work of art or some shit. Jesus christ, what are you trying to pull murray, you asshole.

whats in a name

i have this theory that may be a little too wild, but i think that the blacker a sports player's name sounds, or any celebrity, the less popular he'll be with the masses, and this goes for both white and black audiences, even blacks hate blacks in reality. like lebron james and kobe bryant, both ridiculously great players by their stats, yet i think it's their names that hold them back. if they had whiter sounding names like justin timberwood they'd be alright. I dare say if michael jordan was named tyrone tyson or jackie brown, he'd have a harder time getting super famous...

harry potter and the last cashgrab

amirite? there was a point around the third and fourth film, and to some extent the fifth that the movies seemed to be aiming for some high quality standard that would be worth remembering in years to come... alas, with the bla boring paint by numbers half blood prince, my hopes were brushed away by a magic broomstick. fuck these films now. I'm saddened not that it's ending, no, but by what a missed opportunity the whole thing ended up being.

potter firstly reminded me of myself when i began watching the movies at around 12 or 13, good guy with a dark side, struggling to balance school and bullies, pretty average person, but determined to excel through pure will. that's me... i even had a best friend once exactly like ron. no hermione though, probably couldn't resist trying to fuck her when she grew a pair of tits and did that thing girls do when they hold their arms over their head and let their breasts stretch out their shirts... nicely done ladies.

so i was all onboard the hogwarts express with this franchise, forgave the first film's fumbles since it was the first, loved the second since it felt more polished and stuff, blown off my chair for the third flick, since that one actually was great not just good, at around 19 i played the fourth film on my psp constantly while at work at target, just loved escaping into the potter world, and that movie was alot of pure fun, still is to me the best potter film because it doesn't try too hard to be some kind of masterpiece, it just is what it is, kind of like a star wars movie back when star wars was about FUN not trying to be the next bible.

order of the phoenix, some parts i love, some felt rushed, but i could see the new director actually read and tried to basically film exactly how you'd visualize the pages in the book. which was cool, but there was stuff i would have left out, and stuff i would have really expanded upon like the wizard duel and veil and so on... tonks and the actress who plays her and her big titties not getting enough screen time...

half blood prince, no no no no no no nononononono.... wrong. wrong wrong. what the hell happened why is the movie so different from the book. what happened to harry noticing ginny grew a pair of tits and some nice birthing hips? shit is the truth, son. expoit it. why was bonnie so nervous throughout the movie? so blatantly not up to it.... the list goes on and on. and above all, i could have forgiven so much if the ending weren't so stale as dried shit. this ceased being a magical world, and became an obvious film set, way too bland... and the key moment, when you see malfoy struggle with his emotions, completely fails, since you have no doubt he's not going to do it. the original malfoy from movie 1 was exactly who was missing. i don't know what happened on set, or with the actor, but he forgot how to be a ruthless weasel and malfoy in hbp comes off to me as a deeply conflicted guy instead of how he was in movie 1 and 2, complete scum. why? in the book, it's pretty clear, malfoy took on too much of a task and underestimated dumbledore's charm and his own inner goodness. maybe it's just how each film's slowly made the character out to be a joke that teh moment he struggles to kill dumbledore comes off as such a weak moment, shame really...

also getting annoyed by how they won't just explain the brother wand problem already. it's been 2 films since potter 4 and they've not said a thing. the book explained it just after it happened in goblet since it clears up why voldemort's wand backfired against harry's. simple...

brb

life's cheap in the city

People dying really saddens me. Recently a man was shot here in ny who was obviously not a serious threat to the cops, he was just out of his mind and weilding a very small knife witnesses say was too small to be life threatening, so after a taser failed, they pumped him full of bullets. how noble.

what a bunch of assholes. that's how it is sometimes though, people holding the gun going too far and no one wants to get in their face about it. what's more is just the general atmosphere around ny of 'i don't give a damn about anyone but myself' even to the point of abandoning each other or crushing each other to get ahead. I've seen it at work and i've seen it driving to work, seen it from my own sister and definitely the military who's main philosophy is to crush everyone else, not even view them as human. What? seriously? who are you to judge people? Superman?

speaking of him. zack snyder has been announced as the new director of superman. now way back i believe i talked about the superman war that happened online which i witnessed and participated in regrettably. no doubt another one is on the horizon. a lot of people think this to be a victory to get a director who isn't going to suck donner's cock or whatever... that's not the point, fuck. this is why i hate the internet world. will the movie be good? or like his other films, mindless videogames that soullessly copy the comics frame for frame without regard for film as a completely different platform...

this could be a worse movie than singer's. then again i'm excited. if 300 is any indicatin, snyder won't pull any punches and will give us a superman who steps right out of the comic's pages and gets into epic battles with other super powered beings and not just more luthor schemes. i love luthor, but he's not going to be exciting to watch pull out a rock of kryptonite for the thousandth time, that's all.

if i had it my way, i'd adapt the entire death of superman arc since i love that story and it really got me into superman, the comic version anyway. couldn't understand what the fuck happened after he died, but the beauty of seeing superman face off against the devil himself and fight him to the death really embodies everything about his character to me. Doomsday, yes, is one note, but so is superman. They're yin and yang. for the longest time superman's basically been able to walk through his foes, unless there was kryptonite, but not this mother fucker. Now the threat of dying is real to him and he has to chose whether to put his life on the line for others or allow this monster to win. in the end, just as in life, sometimes the only way to stop beat your enemy is to make an incredible sacrifice which says to me that good and evil are forever linked.

what a day, what to say

haven't masturbated all day my nigs, so my mind's full of thoughts of those sexy bitches. stupid sperm, needs to just leave me alone. like last night i couldn't sleep until i shot a bit of the shit out my dick to some really sweet pics of a nice juicy ripe young female. they're like works of art, only certain kinds truly captivate your innate artistic senses.

I honestly have no problem with impregnating a female, shit, i've known them my whole life, if she wants it, i'll give it to her no problem, it's just become so confusing trying to figure out which ones are good and which ones just want to suck both your dick and your wallet dry. then there's the issue of how your life changes completely once you go down that path.

I've always figured i'd avoid that for as long as possible so i could figure out time travel or whatever... it's not impossible goddamit.

i'm tired though, such a hard fight, and life isn't completely under anyones control. we really are still the same as any animal, we just choose to ignore the truth.

and i'm sick of the lack of humility within people i keep meeting. listen, my friend, don't act like you're a big shot when you shovel shit for a living and on top of that you're just as expendable as me. it really got on my nerves how out of touch with reality some of my coworkers were, truly believing that because they were a supervisor at some low level shitty sub contractor, they were great people, deserving respect and admiration. don't even get me started on people who somehow managed to get lucky and land an office job, so they pretend they've got a phd and everyone they deal with is dumb as a brick. I just play dumb and go along with the little bullshit fascade on display, but it still bothers me they way society is. i guess bill gates was right when he told steve jobs it doesn't matter if one of them is better than the other. the whole thing is a popularity contest. quality doesn't always win.

in that same vein, there's those who are fucking, and those who are me. and they'll gladly kick me over a cliff, i know that for sure. fuck. must resist though, because i believe so much more can be done besides giving in to one's natural instincts.

censorship of medal of honor

nobody's really talking about this much from what i can tell, but indeed a videogame has been censored by the military.

this is a horrible slap in the face to the first amendment. i guess no one in the military ever bothered to read it. welcome to america.

random thoughts

fixed my phone. i spent 100 bucks on a g1 phone on ebay and it worked fine until i got it wet and the touch screen no longer functioned, so i figured i'd fix it myself and took it apart in order to replace the touch screen. oops though since i accidentally ripped the fragile connection to the lcd. so i decided to abandon it and get a better phone, possibly the g2... long story short, after looking at phone prices, i couldn't afford those fancy new ones, so i took a risk and bought a broken g1 for parts and after days of trying to figure out what goes where and how to connect everything, i rebuilt the g1 from scratch. it's a simple design that's very fragile due to the placement of components in relation to each other. but if i need a new part, i can put it in pretty fast now. works. i initially just replaced the screen, but then the keyboard malfunctioned and i had to replace that too. so overall i've invested about 175 in a g1 phone, about twice as much as i'd spend on a used one on ebay. I guess if this keeps working, it was worth it since the great thing about this phone is i can charge it through usb and customize the hell out of it.

it's not too bad at delta. they give me a sheet every day with the number of flights i do, except when they decide to randomly change where i'm stationed. that sucks because then they like to put the new guys on heavy flights with lots of luggage. rough job... need time to heal afterwards but it'll be great to travel for nothing. and hopefully i can move up to a better job there, who knows.

contemplating returning to school to get that degree thing people keep talking about. having been in college, i can say that basic military training and in a lot of ways the rigorous course work i've endured in high school make it look like kindergarten. it's just way too expensive. i can't understand why anyone would want to pay so much for so little gain in the end. LEARN BY DOING. Leave the house and whatever it is you want to do, go after it, i say.

strange

to once again get a second chance at life. i wont go into details. hell my job at jfk is such that i've nearly died numerous times, but at least those i didn't literally SEE coming and had no way of stopping it. luckly God himself stopped it. cuz i certainly didn't, wasn't quick enough but fortune prevailed and for some reason i still live, at least i think i am. i don't know what to think. being former military, i feel like i should suck it up and move on, but i can't ignore the shock from looking death straight in the face. i'm broken inside. like what it must be like to be a zombie. i wish it never happened. roll with the punches indeed.

one mans ass is another mans pleasure

so the dude that got caught fucking another dude by his roommate jumped off a bridge and killed himself. really? because he outed you on the internet? loads of peeps in the comments on this story is showing such pity for the guy but not me. good. another ass crammer gone. i'm tired of the violent and hyperbolic defense of homosexuality, even comparisons of them to african slaves as if they even come close to that blight on humanity's history.

i remember it well, i slyly remarked that bryan singer sucks dick and had a mod blast me for it. yeah he sucks dick and i think it's stupid. what the hell. i grew up seeing nothing but girs and boys playing their natural roles, then later on all i get is fucktards screaming till they're dead about how awesome skeeting into a butthole is. probably is awesome, if it's a girl's asssss.... mmmm i love them. every time i get horny i look at a good looking girl at least over 16 and see them as future wife material. sorry but fuck off, fags. stop confusing the straights.

delta flight landing on 2 gears

miracle.

either that or one damn good pilot. met a few, they're a bunch of cowboys, real old school males from that kind of time. too bad we don't appreciate them much.

even though i work for them, i still stand behind delta because they're serious about taking care of their customers with good wel trained staff, i've learned more in 2 weeks about aircraft than i have in 3 months working with swissport which basically treated me like a piece of meat, i mean a girl died while i was working there, just some young woman, got fucked up by an engine i think, though i never really knew. i nearly died several times for my meager paycheck there, they preach safety but that's as far as it goes, it's all about making money...

back to the flight. i always thought as i starred up into the fuselage where the wheel is housed, that it looked very unclean, rusty, old, so i figured if this son of a bitch locked up on them in flight that'd be why, so much shit in there, and here we have it. I'm guessing it just got over stressed and failed, which is huge. i guess it's possible after all to land on just 2 of them by balancing the plane and landing like a roller blade, but as you all see the wing still tipped far enough to scrape the runway. fucking lucky fucks on that flight.... would have been cool if i was still training and this happened...

Ronda X

my next series ive come up with, it's the new ronda, like a ronda from a different dimension, like ultimate spiderman or some shit like that. What happens is the original ronda exceeds the power limitations of her own universe and is ascended to godhood through the... hold on, i'm just sick of this. cleveland show is crap, i hate it, and fuck you if you like it. it's just so bland, stale, shitty, stupid, family guy light. whats the point? it doesnt even play with the fact that cleveland's black, he seems pretty content with his life despite the way society prettymuch hates him off the bat, what a joke. stick to the boondocks. it kinda scratches the surface of real middle class niggers.

ok back to my ideas. well she's re-born. what happens is ronda fuses with a queen of an african tribe in order to defeat the godlike beings and she achieves super saiyan 4-ultimate, aka ss 5. from here she's gone beyond the current dimension and must travel to the next where she'll be amongst peers of similar power, but she gives birth to herself out her butt, like a side effect of her incredible powers. This new ronda wakes up with no memory of who she is. God ronda goes on to the next dimension. And the new story takes place following Ronda as she travels the world and reunites with old allies and takes on new enemies. she feels connected to her older self, but she's not the same person anymore. her power is still formidable although it's more difficult to achieve super saiyan form. although she can go further she prefers to stick to ss 1 and 2, and eventually she ascends to ss 4 once again and masters ss 5 fully.

its ambiguous whether we're seeing a reborn ronda or just a ss5 ronda going through to the next dimension and being challenged by the gods before mastering her powers. it'll be cool.

yeah i really work for delta

Really, start training on monday... This could lead to better jobs at the same company, no doubt they prefer to hire from the inside similar to how they hired me because I already work at jfk in a similar job. 10.82 pocket change to some people, more than enough for me. Sure I get no benefits besides flight priv, but I got my foot in the door, only thing left is to climb the ladder over time. I reason that me being a young male with nothing to lose will look good to the company since they likely will need to fill any future openings and need someone with experience. Hopefully the money is enuf to get me started...

delta

Aaaahhhh.... Im now an employee of delta air lines bitch. Well not yet but out of nowhere they called me a month or so after I applied online, went for the interview and passed it, so all thats left is urine test etc... Then I jump on over to the big leagues, a real airline... Ahhhh fuck am I happy. Didnt expect a call but I guess they need more man power... This job suks so I mite as well be paid well and get flight privs for it, and if tsa doesnt work out I can probably move on to ticket agent, make the big bucks... This is what a lot of folks around these low paying sub cons can only dream of... I cant believe some of my coworkers plan to stay where they are and not go after an airline, same shit more money, but maybe they cant... Oh well, time to travel the entire world... Heh

Protein

why the FUCK is this not taught in schools as STANDARD core curriculum health studies... maybe it is in better schools, for white kids maybe... my schools were prisons for kids, all of them. Just gotta keep us occupied until we can get a job somewhere.

Here's the discovery. Right i've been trying to quit masterbating since about 2005 when i turned 19 and it stopped being such an immense sensation that i couldn't deny myself. still cant but i tried because it wasn't fun anymore, not only did it scar my dick up, but it hurt my brain to constantly feel tense and withdrawn from the chemical high you get from ejaculation.

hear this, if you're still stuck in high school or you're just a young guy struggling with the same problem. Eat protein. That means eat chicken, beef, ham sandwiches, just go for it. i didn't know that the body NEEEEEEDS the stuff so badly. i tried to diet by eating nothing but vegies, my dad tellls me that's not a good idea because you need to eat meat, and i shrugged it off, but he's right. And not just a little meat but a lot, fill up on the stuff and you'll feel much much better because protein heals the body faster. i thought everything was carbs, but that's just for energy, to actually generate new body tissue, it comes from protein, meat being the best source.

fuck goddamn i hate having to learn things the hard way. i hope this helps any clueless fucking kid or whatever out there. keep consuming meat, not too much fatty shit though, try to get the low fat stuff and you're good. i masturbated twice today and because i had chicken i'm feeling ok cuz that shit must be rejuvenating my sperm faster than before... good lawd.

Times get tough

can't quit masterbating no matter how hard i try. its like even if i stay off it for a week, i might wake up and be so horny that i get going and just cant stop myself since it feels so good, like you don't even fear death... speaking of which, i got my hand briefly caught in a belt loader at my job the other day, my last day of work for the week, now of course i pulled it out quickly thank God, but what if i didn't, shit was moving fast, it would have definitely taken my arm off or broke it before i could stop the belt myself. that's the problem with being so sexually frustrated, you don't have all your head on straight to be totally alert. shit, though, thats life. one minute you're here, next, you're not. seize the day and all that.

the last airbender

downloaded it since everyone online says its crap. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS SMOKING. get your heads out of your asses. kids will eat this up, and if you're like me and watched the show religiously back in the good ol days and saw every episode warts and all, ycou'll love it for its breezy reverence of the source material but not anally pounding it from frame to frame because guess what, the original toon wasn't perfect either.

b- all around, solid first effort, looking forward to book two. bunch of dipshits online, fuck em.

bought a car

honda civic 89 for 700 bucks, probably worth 300 considering all its its problems needing repair, but I don't care. I have a car now and i'll use my earnings from this job to fix it up, need to go to home depot to get some stuff for the interior, maybe tomorrow, then when i get a better job get it insured and drive it to work or whatever. it's a first step into a larger world as obiwan would say... saw this cute indian girl at the bank today, massive tits, i couldn't stop thinking about touching them while she was saying some words about credit cards or whatever... wow, you really think i give a damn about credit cards bitch? god damn, bunch of bank drones looking to get young guys signed up for shit these days.

well whatever. the mission is completed... good piece of machine i think, just needs to be fixed up some and it'll run well enough. i'll use it to begin studying cars and how they work since that's like a life long necessity these days. guy that sold it to me, seemed very honest, and was kind enough to help me drive it back to my house today taking time away from his adorable son. bah, kids, i don't even want to think about that right now. I don't want no daughter, EVER. a boy i can raise for sure, a girl would scare the living hell out of me.

never mind that. gotta get the ball rolling on making money... the thing is, that i work at jfk, so i see tsa agents everywhere. their job is a simple one, check bags to make sure they're within tsa regulations, scan them, that's it, they don't have to do anything more than security stuff like that, no guns, no heavy lifting... and on the website they got openings, so there's a little door open there. granted, i already have a job, and i make at least 200 a week, 800 a month so getting the car insured now isn't impossible, it's just i don't have the money for such a thing as yet. that's my whole check really... all to pay for some insurance. it's a gamble. i get it insured, sure, then i can drive instead of take the bus to work, which would be great for me, but then i have no money anyway for anything else.

tough decisions to make here, no matter though, I'll have to build a thicker hide here and try to find a better job while still working at shitport.

EDEN reduxxx

hold on while i figure out where i am with this...

man my gigantic black penis is throbbing its so hard right now.... where was I, oh yeah the eden story...

Ronda saves eve from the spikes of doom and nurses her back to health. verona in awe of ronda's new power level decides to join her side. ronda then prepares for the next match in which she must battle the perfect android, ANDROID EDEN.

ronda dressed in a dress she borrowed from verona's closet, goes up to take on the last fighter in super saiyan 4 mode. Lets get to the good stuff, they fight a whole lot, then ronda's out classed by the android's seemingly infinite strength and gets beat back down to regular power level, and in one desperate attempt grabs the android's titty and sucks some milk from it to re-energize her self somewhat, then the android goes in for one final strike, and ronda, ass in the air, sucks her into her butt hole. then a pregnant ronda gives birth to a flesh and blood human eden who she was fighting the whole time.

now the two are re-united but ronda doesn't have the strength to push eden fully out of her body so her legs are still inside ronda's pussy. then gero comes out of the ceiling and reveals himself to ronda and eden. he wants ronda and eden to join him but she refuses, so he orders his robot army to kill them. a bunch of robots xlz class droids storm the arena and surround ronda and eden. verona and eve join the fight and they all battle. eventually though the robots over power them and eden and ronda are seperated and the robots take eden back to gero and ronda, verona, eve are tied up and thrown into an underground prison cell to be food for gero's cellula androids.

ronda taste tests eve's tits to see if she has any milk left, but she's all out. then verona poops out some shit, and inside the shit is a cigar and a lighter which she always keeps handy and she lights up some nice cuban cigar to enjoy. then the doors open and two cellula androids stand there. ronda is particularly confused by their pressence since she destroyed one years ago. That was their mother and now they will have revenge.

to be continued.

harry knowels nearly died

*shrugs*

I'm surprised you're still alive to be honest. i never understood why fat people allowed themselves to get that big in the first place, then when health problems inevitably arise, they're surprised when shit like that happens. ok ok, he has a new allergy, something i kind of have too, so i understand, bt still even if harry died, i wouldnt care that much. people much more important than him die all the time... kids too, gotta keep things in perspective.

toy story 3

just saw it. I loved it, loved toy story when it first came out and I saw it on tv way back in the good ol days when tv didn't suck ass. so seeing it now at 24 on the big screen, my first toy story was a cool experience, and fitting that it be the final chapter in the series. I can see they really worked hard on it, figuring out just where to end these character's stories. times when i thought the movie was going to faulter, it bounces right back with some interesting drama, well played. people are calling it a masterpiece now, definitely up there and puts shame to a lot of other movies out right now. just the effortless passion for the story on display is worthy of the price of admition but on its own its a great film even if you've never seen the first or second, the first actually BEING a masterpiece.

one flaw it has though is that it came out NOW. wtf took them so long? it needed to come out ages ago. it almost feels like toy story 2 never happened because very little of the movie actually referrences that film. dare i say you could drop 2 all together if they didn't bring some of its characters back in this one. but that's the name of the game with sequels. some things work and others don't.

really miss bo peep too. the movie tells us she was just donated to someone else or whatever... how come woody doesn't find her, he's in love with her! this really kind of made me confused, the entire second film is about the toys finding a lost woody and bringing him back to andy, then this one dropps a major main character and shrugs it off. Yeah i know its a bitch to find these toys but come on. they even know how to use phones and computers and they can't keep in touch... would have been interesting if after lamenting bo peep's loss, she's found struggling to survive at sunny side and woody tries to save her and stuff.

oh well, fantastic film regardless. it's about as good a 3rd movie as you could hope for really. the first toy story is about fear of being replaced as a toy. the second about the fear of being outgrown as a toy. the third examines exactly what happens when a toy reaches that point when he's been outgrown and become useless to its owner and ironically the toy has to accept replacing its own owner, so things really come full circle.

A+

The airline industry

I'm currently at jfk airport, terminal 5, since this is the only one with free wifi unbelievably... you'd think such a useful thing would be at all terminals, but it's only jetblue that's cool enough to give free internet to its customers. would love to work for them in any area, but i'm stuck at swissport for now. sucks ass.

so where was I... there's a few things I'd like to tell you wonderful passengers what it is I do and what it is I know about airlines. It's definitely not as pretty as it seems from the outside. We baggage handlers don't give a shit about your luggage. So buy bags that won't break easily or we'll crush them. we treat them like garbage because the plane has to MOVE on time, so if we have to toss it, we toss it. like a piece of trash fragile or not.

I see tooooooo many flimsy as fuck bags when i'm out there hauling them, that's no good. the best ones are ironically not small duffle bags. If you want your bag faster than the other passengers, pack a big flat suitcase. We LOVE those. Fits on the belt, easily slides into the aircraft and we can pack it easily. We pack all of those first and remove all of those first, so there you go, little secret on how to get your bag faster. Make sure its tough as fuck though or we'll fuck it up.

like I said before, the plane HAS TO move. One of the reasons we don't give a flying fuck about your bag's welfare. That plane you're getting on, the one that seems so clean and untouched in the last few hours, a bunch of people were just on it probably 30 minutes ago. I didn't think planes turned around so damn fast, but yep, mother fuckers are turned around almost as fast as a train in the subway. I do air jamaica every morning. They bring teh plane in, passengers depart, we remove their bags, then the next group of passengers' bags are put right on the plane mere minutes after the last group's. unbelievable. they run these things like well, machines... no rest for anybody really, amazing. And we don't do much safety shit. times happen when the pilot overshoots the stopping mark, which is a huge no no. ground crew are just dudes like me, pilots make little mistakes, take too long to turn off warning beacons, and then there's just the fact that money is more important than anything else...

Not much interaction between us baggage guys and the pilots btw. They inspected the cargo bay once when i was in there chillin. and thats what we do, we just sit there under the plane while passengers board and disembark. we do more work than anyone else who works the ramp area yet we get paid the least, such bullshit. I could fly these planes after being here for so long... maybe some day, it's not that hard and from what i understand of the business, once the bitch is in the air, the pilot does nothing but play psp or watch a movie the whole time... lucky fuck

eden strikes back

here we go. I've been doing very little these past few days besides getting settled into my job at jfk again. No word from the lga job. sucks, but i still have a backup kind of plan if that doesn't pull through. after 90 days i can transfer to swissport at lga possibly, not that I know what that entails yet but once you get your foot into these kinds of companies and get to know the right kind of people, they can potentially help you out.

funny thing, just as i decide to download and watch every thundercats episode, they're making a new series to air next year. Im going to be all over that when it comes out, probably personally capturing each one, granted I can get a cap card, a good one somewhere soon. Then I'll serve them online on stream them just after they air on cartoon network. great show thundercats, I'll dare say it's a masterpiece of science fiction and fantasy, the best of its kind. the new show will no doubt cut out a lot of the cheese but will be hard time surpassing the genius level work done on animating it. like, theres no getting around the fact that thundercats possesses some of the best hand drawn 2d animation EVER made for a tv series.

so my eden story continues. Very cool, i've drawn sketches of everything up to the moment ronda, eve, and verona are taken into a holding cell and left to be consumed by two cellula clones.

the tournament begins. Eve vs laura of the clown gang. she beats her with a slicing kick that cuts the android in half. Next is ronda vs mime man, he uses magic powers to entrance ronda but she regains her strength after he loses concentration ejaculating into her ass, and then she turns super saiyan two and blows him away with a super fire ball. Next is eve vs baby boy. She underestimates the tiny opponent and he gows into this big fat fighter, slaps eve around until she falls unconcious, then rips off her panties and goes into her body through her vagina, then after eve wakes up she poops and pisses and lactates out like 5 different versions of the guy, and they all kick her ass until she discovers her urine can dissolve them. Next is ronda vs big boy. He grows into a giant and ronda tries to use her electro guns to shoot him, but she just shoots him in the eye, he gets mad and swats her away like a fly, then he grabs her, bites her titty licks her face and then whips out his massive dick and fucks her in the ass until the tip of his dick comes out her mouth. But he gets so caught up in the fucking he loses his footing and falls into the pit of spikes. Next is eve vs verona. Verona wins against a worn out eve, tossing her into the pit of spikes. Ronda gets pissed and goes to fight verona next. verona challenges ronda and tells her that if she gets beaten she has to get fucked by her instead of straight up killing. Ronda agrees. So they fight in super saiyan level, then verona says she has learned a new level of power and powers up to super saiyan level three giving her ridiculously huge tits. Ronda surprises verona with her own big whoppers as she powers up to super saiya level 3 too. the two battle hard, clashing like titans, then verona cheats and grabs ronda's titty squeezing as much super milk out of it as possible decreasing her power so ronda is no match, then tosses ronda into outer space and she goes through the ceiling through teh moon and crashs back into the floor. a defeated ronda then puts her ass in the air to get fucked by verona. verona pulls out her tail from her ass and sticks it into rondas and fucks her, but then she sees the moon and starts turning into moozaru form. Ronda's asshole is stretched wide as verona's tail grows and then ronda feels the same happening to her as the tail acts as a real saiyan tail and transforms ronda into moozaru. the two beasts fight and fight and fight. verona picks up ronda and tosses her into the pit of spikes. she jumps out removes a spike from her ass and stabs verona in the eye with it. verona pulls her eyeball out and grabs ronda squeezing the life out of her. since ronda's a moozaru without a tail, during this desperate moment she achieves a higher level of power and transforms back into human form with long nipples a tail and long dark hair. super saiyan 4. she cuts off verona's tail and brings her back to human form then retrieves a dying eve fom the spikes.

after this the final battle is between Ronda and android eden. to be continued.

eden continued

Just finished sketching out exactly what i described, at least up until the part where ronda's working out in her office. it's hard to tackle this though 'm confident i can since it wasn't as if i was that great to begin with, some of my original drawing were very crudely done. wasn't untl i got to ronda vs verona round 2 that i learned how to properly draw a female body, meaning you have to make girls fat, and curvy, not hard edged like males. looks much better when their abs or whatever fold when they bend over, looks more realistic and watching women in porn, it's clear to me that they look like they're always carrying a lot of meat on their bodies. skinny arms and two big bags of flesh and plump jiggly legs and ass attached to very round wide mid section.

so we go on with the story...

where the fuck was i...

verona fucks ronda up real bad. it's the end for our heroine, or is it! out of no where a vehicle flies through a worm hole opened up in the sky above the bridge and lands on the coast line nearby. out steps a girl with pink hair tan skin, pink outfit and gloves and a utility belt full of gadgets. she looks around, sees the bridge and dives into the water swimming deep down to where ronda lay under the crushing ruble. she grabs the pieces of bridge and lifts it off of ronda now unconcious and gets her back to the surface near the coast line. then she performs cpr, putting her mouth on rondas and pressing her chest until ronda gasps, barely alive. then the pink haired girl whips out a titty and lets ronda drink her breast milk, which has super nutrients only saiyans can utilize and it helps ronda regain much of her strength.

a now more invigerated ronda thanks the girl who is the same age as her own daughter and oddly resembles her. Ronda asks her who she is. the girl tells her that she is her grand daughter eve. ronda collapses from the shock. eve takes ronda into the time machine and flies back to the ad police station. naked as fuck ronda walks cooly to her old locker ogled by all the police men and gets some assless chaps and a tank top to where. eve blushes at her grandmother's weird behavior. ronda's never really understood why men liked seeing her body so much. at a table the two talk about the situation. eve says that the future is a dark place thanks to gero's invention, the evil android eden who has taken over everything and wants to kill all humanity. ronda eats a giant chicken leg while she lays it all out. eve's brother, adam, a skilled scientist invented a time machine in hopes that the android could be destroyed in the past. eve says she never even knew her mother or father, and that ronda was supposed to have died under the bridge. ronda hugs her grand daughter and tells her that she will meet her and both get ready and head off at super saiyan level to gero's hide out to put an end to him.

They arrive this time undisturbed to gero's hide out up in the legion of doom mountains. verona is on the roof sunbathing and gets called by gero because ronda has somehow returned. pissed verona powers up so much her bikini is completely shredded and she flies naked towards the main arena within gero's head quarters. the doors open and let ronda and eve into the massive hall way leading towards an open stadium. ronda tells gero to show himself and return eden to him. a screen appears high above and two glowing red eyes show as gero tells ronda the deal. she can have her daughter back but only after winning his little tournament of ultimate champions. it'll give his creations some excersise anyway and it would amuse him. ronda doesn't like this bullshit but agrees to whoop all their asses only if she gets to see eden first. then eden comes out dressed in a fancy dress and tells ronda that she's ok and asks ronda to win for her. verona looks on and laughs. ronda vows to beat them and the tournament is layed out. crowds gather from all walks of the underworld to witness this. gero tells verona that this is all part of his plan to give his android even greater power since the tournament stage is like a very large conductor which will suck the fighter's energy into the android making all ronda's efforts pointless.

to be continued

starting eden

i finished ronda's stories, phew, what a long bitch of a thing that was. now on to eden's... the story is about her rise as an incredible counter force to the evil android eden. i decided long ago to keep ronda as the more supportive character and give eden more focus, who learns that she's the key to saving the world from destruction, and is the daughter of ronda's greatest arch nemisis and creator, or so it seems, making her a pivotal part in his plans to create the world's most powerful android which needs the energy of eden to achieve full power.

here's the story.

after ronda's battle with gero's cellula android, she discovers that she is pregnant. 9 months later, she givs birth to a girl of mysterious origin. Ronda assumes she is the daughter of one of teh many men who have entered her body in recent years. Ronda's attempts to train her daughter to be strong fighter are met with resistance as the 15 year old is more into boys than fighting. she soons learns why her mother is training her as she is attacked by an android at school and though she turns to super saiyan level and quickly dispatches him, two more powerful androids arrive and easily capture her.

They bring her to see gero himself who reveals he is her father and that he created her using ronda's body so that she can be used to energize his perfect android, a perfect clone of eden herself. eden is strapped to a device that drains her of her energy and inserts it into the android.

Meanwhile... ronda is at capsule corp doing some pushups with a 1000 lb weight in one hand and then she gets a phone call from her former colleuges at the ad police headquarters where she used to work as an intern, and flies over there to talk to teh chief who tells her that some people attacked eden and took her away. enraged, ronda rushes down to the only person who might know who's responisble, her old opponent Dana now on a life sentence in prison under high level security. Ronda has her chains taken off and Dana quickly attacks her but teh much more powerful ronda easily defeats her. Dana tells her that gero's head quarters is in the legion of doom sector up north high in the mountains. and they must have taken her there.

Ronda suits up in a tight black spandex suit and straps on a gun and blasts off in a hover bike to get to gero's hide out. watching sensors on screen gero's henchmen warn gero that ronda now approaches. One henchman then leaves to confront her. oh it gets good now. The henchman attacks blowing away teh bike so ronda flies into the air and powers up to super saiyan level. shooting a fire ball directly through the henchman. the android has special healing powers though and repairs himself. the two do battle. ronda's beaten back and ultimately caught in the android's tentacle hand shooters. the android can't resist and kisses a now trapped ronda. using this opportunity, she shoots a massive fireball through the robot burning away its outer skin revealing it to be a machine underneath. they continue to fight but ronda uses a power kick and fucks the robot up through its stomach portion with her leg.

after this she takes a dump to get rid of the tentacle from within her body that the android used the kiss to put in there, but then just as she's about to shit teh rest of it out, the line is tugged by the second henchman and ronda gets whipped into the side of a giant rocky surface and the android flies around it and ties ronda to the thing, then flies in front of ronda and punches and kicks her until she's breaks teh whole rocky thing into ruble, after which ronda pushes her way out of mounds of rock and hitches up her pants and flies off to do battle with the second android.

The second android proves to be much more powerful than teh first, easily blocking ronda's blows. ronda is captured by the robot's tentacle hand shooters, but powers her way out of them. the android then kicks ronda to the ground then just as ronda is regaining her bearings she gets impaled through the butt by the android's out stretched leg and her foot comes out her mouth. the android then decides to kick ronda through a spikey wall, but ronda grabs onto her shirt and just as she's kicked into the wall, ronda rips off the android's top revealing two gigantic breasts. teh android embarrassed removes her leg from ronda's anus and covers up her tits. Ronda tells her its ok to show off your hooters since they're some nice ones. the android reluctantly agrees and lets her puppies dangle free for the rest of their bout. with two hands free she creates two destructo discs and sends them flying at ronda who dodges them and goes to attack the android who's breasts exposed now are easily grabbed. grabbing one titty, ronda tugs hard on it and the android does the same to ronda's tits. then ronda over powers her because she's got the stronger boobs and rips off the android's titty. The android furious forgets the destructo disc wizzing round and then gets slized in half by her own dics. ronda pulls the android'a arms off her tits and begins walking away from the battle when the android attacks her shooting a tentacle from its mouth at ronda's leg. ronda strips her pants off and gets as far from the exploding android as possible as it creates a nuclear blast that sends her flying away.

bloody beaten and tired, ronda hovers in the air and out of no where is kicked by Verona her arch rival now working for gero. a much weaker ronda is no match for her and she runs and flips naked through the city streets to get away from verona. Verona toys with ronda then tosses her through several buildings before flying over to the other side and blasting a hole right through ronda's stomach. Then kicks her into the water where she impacts with a bridge pillar and is crushed by its weight.

Verona then flies away. To be continued....

lost is over

everyone's talking about the final episode of lost now, what did it mean etc. i thought it was one of the best episodes of the series. there was a lot of thought put into it, not just some half assed cheap copout ending. Jack fullfills his destiny to save the island from destruction, a place he's wanted to leave for so long, then dies on it. how poetic. knowing that is going to make all the "we gotta get off this stupid island" stuff from the first 3 seasons hard to watch now. if there was any problem with the finale it was that it should have happened a year ago. but for whatever reason season 5 got made which introduced a lot of weird shit that didn't necessarily impact the final season much. What did having teh losties time travel to teh days of the darma beginning mean in the end as they all simply wound up back in their own time anyway and then got back to business trying to leave the island as usual. *shrugs*

theories are coming in as to whether the entire series was a kind of dream of jacks just as he was about to enter heaven as is seen in the finale. i like the idea that when the plane crashed, they all just died, and teh series is about a bunch of dead people seeking redemption for their sins before they go to heaven. not a bad message in my mind, though the usual anti-religious folks will piss all over any kind of religious subtext.

as for jack's son. i think his son was his father, just younger the whole time. its made clear that jacob can turn into a kid at will. so in the flash sideways verse christian shepard turned into a kid to keep an eye on jack's soul before he finally died and joined him, or something. Damn good show though, like the official seinfeld of teh 2000s, a show that will go down as a classic. well done. and thank you for all the bikini clad shots of kate.

coco butter on my penis

seems to be working. I masturbate like this, just rub my dick into my bed sheet a whole lot until ejaculation then my daughter comes shooting out of me onto my sheet and I shake uncontrollably from it. which feels good then I realize I just did some damage to myself since rubbing your skin on rough cloth all the time isn't the best thing for it, so yeah it's been scarred, ok. wish i had a puss to put it in instead, but don't got it like that yet, not until I get the money...

so I put coco butter on it to help heal it and I'm looking at my dick now and it looks a lot better, smoother too, some of the scarring is gone. not bad... not bad at all.

basketball court stories

thinking of doing a comic series or short story series of life on a basketball court. All I ever do is play basketball down by the court. Sometimes against kids half my age, literally. I often see a 12 year old kid there. Very interesting to see him tackling life so young. Learning the sport of basketball same as I did around that age, just playing playing and playing again until your body gets used to it and learns ways to subtly adjust itself well enough to get a better shot.

I reckon he loves playing the game more than all that fucking home work. Heh, he love something else in about 2 years time. I hope so anyway, this homo shit is just really weirding me out.

The most important message in this week's lost

Not the best lost episode, no way, hopefully that is the finale, I mean I hope they saved every last bit of artistic excellence within them for the last one. I know if I push myself to my limits I can move the world with my creations.

Anyway, enough showboating though my talents are extraordinary, this episode was great not because of the violence or nothing, but because of jacob. Having been in the military, met the people in charge of millions of dollars worth of nuclear weapons, seeing them stumble over themselves from time to time, or make very human errors, its become clear to me that it's essential never to forget that no one is perfect. Not even mr. jacob himself, the man who up until now everyone on lost thought was a million miles ahead and knew exactly what he was doing. Though very smart, wise, etc. he admits the only reason he brought them to the island is because they're just as fucked up and human as him.

That's a good leader right there, one who isn't afraid to admit he himself doesn't have all teh answers. All he can do is hope, perhaps pray, that he's making the right decisions.

That's how I get through life anyway.

Megan Fox out of transformers

What the fuck. Seriously. What the fuck. Not that I give a shit about her character. This might finally give us a film that actually feels like an episode of the show without extra omg since titanic did it, every actiony movie has to have a love story, fucking crap bla bla bla in it. But jesus they REALLY made a big whoop out of her and sam kind of having relationship trouble then having it get all patched up by the end. Whatever I say, but still it just makes all her scenes in that movie bullshit now.

Where was I. Yeah lots of sites reporting on this kind of 'non-news' Why is it non news? Because who cares about mikela? She's not from the toon. And she really wasn't pivotal to teh story besides some shoe-horned girl power moments.

I must say this has perked up my interest in the next movie a lot more. Without her getting in the way, we can explore more of the robots hopefully.

how women settle arguments

God damn

what a day. Saw a beautiful girl on the train today, super model looks, you catch them from time to time. I'd forgotten how attractive breeding aged females were in the flesh having been so into the porn, but yeah just the sight of this girl's midriff just above her ass, I kept day dreaming about grabbing it and plunging my dick into her butt hole. That's all my life has been for the past 11 years since i've hit puberty, sitting back and watching girls who have all the necessary equipment for procreation, and like every other male thinking of fucking her brains out etc. that's exactly why I don't give a damn about what some bull headed jock fucker thinks about me... I know exactly what I can and likely will be doing when I get the opportunity...
but.
Little did I know people who are all about marriage would be pointing a gun at me and threatening me with death if I didn't conform to their life style choices. It sickens and saddens me that that's who's in charge of this world, some bible thumping nutters. I know death is scary, but hold off on the zealous religious shit for a while goddamn... do you not see all the big tits all over the place and you want a nigga to stick with just one set?

lol to that.

Skinny as shit white girl on the train though, eat some cake and ice cream bitch, what the hell, I feel sorry for her boyfriend if she has one, fucker must have to put a pillow between himself and her when they're fucking.

Swissport. swissport. what the hell am I doing working for you ya nothing job. It's just a backup plan anyway. God if you are still with me, help me get into laguardia. That's like a 5 minute trip. Please jesus my savior help me. I'll do some good deeds I promise.

enough to fit in the stomach

lolz got cussed out by someone in the military because I called them like i see it, that yes you might think they're all about perfection and getting things done right, by the book, but HELL NO, they're just a bunch of horny fuckers like you and me but they have nuclear weapons at their disposal and bibles. Maybe they have guys in there that can't feel pain or something, but let me assure you that the mil is just a job, you got guys who sweep the floor and guys who build space ships all in one place, that's all.

anyway, got a call from swissport which is fine, shrugs, want me to do finger printing. Took them several weeks it seems to get my drug tests in, now its time for the criminal background check. Then I do sida training for my ID card, then I start working. Probably in the bag room, cuz the ramp can be dangerous.

If I do start working there, It'll be temporary until I get a call in from the laguardia job, granted they don't call me immediately, which would truly be the deciding factor in whether i continue at swissport or not.

what else. I think I figured out how to drink water properly. i used to drink it all from the bottle at once, but now I think I know why I usually just pissed it out. The stomach isn't that big. So if I drink maybe half a stomach full, the water will get absorbed into the body better, which seems to be the case since after drinking a little bit of it, i feel my veins pumping water into my brain or something. that's much more favorable.

Things are looking good

fucking fuck balls I saw some gorgeous probably 16 year old girl on the train today. Legs were so soft and ass was ready baby for well, what else, baby making. She'll be pregnant by at least 20, a girl like her, total ditz too, either she'll be a porn star or get married and never work a day after that. I have no more whatever it's called, fuck, but you get it, I no longer think females are these wonderful great angels I used to think they were. Nothing they like better actually than fucking around with a guy and getting away with it because they're female. Too bad their one weakness is dick, just like kryptonite, all girls and young women are powerless against the penis' appeal to them, granted they're hetero.

You won't learn that shit at college. In fact I see young men all the time, clueless mother fuckers who don't know what to do with their lives. I feel sorry for them because they don't know what I know about surviving in this world yet. Part of me wants to help them, the other part remembers how much I was tortured by other males and doesn't give a fuck about them, but they are just stupid kids. I could have used someone, a father figure, taking me aside and simply displaying that he gave a rats behind whether I existed or not. But that's unfortunately very very rare. Boys need fathers, but most won't have them because boys are hard to deal with, they're ugly, they seek to challenge you every chance they get, hell no it's not easy to take care of boys. Girls ain't shit, just sit there being pretty, that's all they need to get paid and survive in this shit.

speaking of getting paid, I applied for a really good job at lga. Even though I still have swissport on the back burner, I HAVE TO get into laguardia. It's the airport I wanted to work at, but I stupidly kept applying to jfk. I estimate that it would take me at least an hour to get to lga and that's by public transport. 2 hours to get to jfk. There's no comparing the huge benefit to working at lga instead. 9.62 an hour pay as well. That's the highest salary I've ever had, excluding the military which was 11 an hour. Still with that kind of money i'll have a car in no time. Probably after working there a while I can think of going back to college to get that bullshit degree thing so I can work on getting paid shit loads more, and its all dependant on if I can skim off a hell of a lot of time by working closer to home. I pray I get this job because well, it's my last hope really of being able to, well, get fucked. I got a hard on every morning, and you know what, the only way that i can go to my grave without being stuck like this is to have money, since that's all women want, white, asian, black, blue, purple, don't matter. I have no misconceptions, there's the word, about them anymore. You got a good job, they practically come to you, they just won't directly do shit. Like just going to work on the train, white girl asked me directions with a fat ass grin on her face, little did i know they consider that flirting, then a black girl tells me to stop picking at my beard as if she knew me for years, another form of flirting.

I mean, come on, I grew up talking to girls as if they were just fucking normal people, now they have to be all cute and girly to get cocks in their booty hole? stupid. My woman won't be a pussy, that's for sure. She'll ask ME out. Then I'll die for her a thousand times, seriously, that's what'd perk me up. Can't stand the hypocracy.