fear of pregnancy and the human body's power

Few thoughts on this while I sit and ponder the many complexities of the universe and life.

Hmmm...

I talk to girls at work sometimes. You wouldn't think it, but they're goddamn terrified of having to give birth.

I don't know anything about that whole thing myself honestly. Such is the failing of my education. We were of course given no sex ed and apparently no one gives a damn if a black guy gets laid anyway although I've met girls who are ok with me.

But yeah, there's 2 types of girls. The ones who are all about pushing out babies all day. And the other who doesn't really have the balls to go down that road.

What can I say. That truly is the test in life. Whether you're willing to do some damage or not.

Life is hard, no denying it. I always knew that. There's no surprising ME that life is a struggle. I've been through hell in my life. It's just like really annoying to have knuckleheads trying to bring me down all the time when I'm not soft at all. I've got mountains of manliness deep down. I will kill you if you push me. But I'm not interested in war at the moment.

Sorry for wanting to get ass.

Little thing called heterosexuality keeps getting in the way of all the war mongering going on these days.

What else.

Well, I'm pushing through this water diet now. I hope we can get to 30 days and lose a ton of weight and be able to do backflips and karate.

It's just amazing to discover this shit now at 27. I'm lucky that's all. If I didn't discover this, I'd be eating and drinking the same way and not be losing a damn ounce of fat. I was at 170 pounds when I joined the airforce. Then I left and ballooned up to 226 pounds due to ignorance of how the body works.

it's like you have certain limits on carbs and sugars that if you exceed them, you'll just be packing on fat in the end.

Do I want to stick my dick in a girl's pussy and get her pregnant? 

That's the final question you'll ever ask yourself in life. We come into this world, all of us and deal with fucking idiots in school for years. Then one day you wake up and know that you will be old and die at some point. Then you have to make the ultimate choice of whether to start a family or not.

Unfortunately I am in a troublesome position. Even if I wanted deep down to impregnate a female, my son or daughter will be black. Their life will be hell on earth.

Are we in a really nice age now where people are not trying to be all hung up on race all day, YEAH. But I've lived in this skin, man. I know it's not easy. And ultimately here I stand, dick full of semen and no girl to put it in. Why the FUCK would I want to put someone else through that shit.

So NO I will NEVER have a son or a daughter.
That's OK. Why are people like OMG why would someone decide that? Well I don't really mind it. It is what it is, life and you go along and sometimes you get little nuggets of goodness. And I think I found that. I go to the ball park and I chill with my buddies there, bunch of knucklehead kids. And we talk shit... It's the same as if I was a parent anyway, I think...

I come from their hood. I know what it means to be a black person in america, I can give them advice on life here and how to make it in this shit even though you're black... so that's one good thing that's come about.

It will be rough to live and know that you're just going to die and not have a child, but I think I'll be doing them more of a favor really.