Damn. I feel lost. The pattern's like this for me, internet. I stop masturbating cold turkey... then I go a day without it and I feel good about myself. Really I'm thinking about all the great things I'll accomplish now that I've kicked the habit and am free to finally be myself... then it starts... the living nightmare of addiction sets in. My head throbs, craving the endorphin high. I start thinking about all the bad things i've ever done and can't see past them. I start telling myself, just a little porn for a few minutes will be ok, then I do it, yeah I look at some porn and I get into the groove of masturbating for a while, thinking the whole time that i'll keep control of myself and just enjoy the calm before the storm if you get my drift. Then OOOPS! I try to hold it back, I mentally stab myself for having lost control, I beat back the urge as much as possible, but I of course fail and woooooooooo squirt mcsquirt, there it goes.
I'm thinking that it's impossible to stop, but that's the joke isn't it. No one knows... it's like asking what death is like or why we're all here, just one of those mysteries. CAN we just not masturbate? Wouldn't that eliminate our species? i read online about how sex is as important as breathing, food, etc. Then why do we not teach it to young people? Politics is stupid.
oh well something good happened today. I went for a jog just to get my circulation going after ejaculating and this hot little babe was standing around the block as I was walking by and her friend pointed me out to her, as if to say whoa check out the stud... Needless to say, I felt awesome! Yeah, I'm jacked now.
It pays off baby... Man, I'm going to have muscles, money, free education, and no children at MY age now. Maybe I'm still a virgin, but yeah, put someone like me up against mr. asshole jock in school and see who's going to get the girl first. bwahahahaha oh I'm so evil...
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