Finding good people

That's the key to life I think. I'm friendless but as a man, that's not something to cry about is it? People will think you're a pussy if you go around crying about not having any friends. But it's bad, man. Being alone... I meet people like my sargent who's gone his whole life so far growing up with friends, then going to the military and finding buddies there, then he's on his job handling his business like a real man, and he meets me, this scruffy messed up child-man with no friends who's trying to get into the military for.... what? To get going in life? I'm supposed to have lived already, right? That's why I can't stand the whole 18 = adult idea. Sure that's when you can die in the military, but there's a world of difference between that and being able to support yourself. That age limit is probably outdated. I'm not that unusual really. Many people live at home well into their 30s until they're finally mature enough to break the umbilical cord. I'm not mature yet.

I need to get my head on straight, figure out how I want to contribute to society... build relationships... combat racism... then if all goes well start my own family and give them a better chance than I had... We'll see. I'm stressing myself out too much now. I just need to relax and not think the world will end because I'm not a genius yet...