Saturday, February 14, 2009

I have to be honest

I'm having a hard time coping with my insecurities and lack of confidence. My days at superherohype shook me up to such a degree that I'm kind of mentally off center. I want to have a thick skin and shake off the internet's silliness, but I've never been in a position of such adult responsibility over my actions. I posted on star wars message boards frequently back in highschool, just a naive foolish dumbass kid that knew nothing of the way the world worked, and yeah I got destroyed by some jerk then too, but I barely recovered from that, only to go back and have the same thing happen a second time in 07. That time I lost it. The first time my fragile young mind could barely handle the pressures of being insulted by someone older. Bullies, man, gotta love those bullies...

That's why I love these words "Fuck it". Period. It's the essence of manhood in my mind. When people are trying to tear you down, twist your mind, humiliate you, and even break you mentally, just say "Fuck it".

Life is like that. Sometimes you can't sit around calculating this or that. You just have to jump into the pool and let the chips fall where they may.

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