Life sucks

Well I was wrong. I can't enjoy life now, and probably never. I know there are people living in dirt poor conditions in third world countries who would kill to have what I have, food to eat, shelter, money, a ps3, and I know that I should not be a big crybaby about not having a degree, being black, being hated by society etc because compared to some folks, well, I'm the one who has no worries. I'm healthy aside from some mental health shite, and I'm good looking, thin, but I'm still alone. And that's the big sucky part. You can have all the money in the world but it won't matter if you have no one to share it with.

Here's why I can't enjoy life. I'm a statistic as i said, just another black college drop out, but my situation is part of a much larger problem, the failure of sex education. I'm 22 damn years old. Soon to be 23 and I have NO idea what so ever how to deal with my body's sexual functions. And I'm expected to care about freudian theories, some stupid critical thinking, whatever the hell. I can't. As much as I'd like to sit for hours debating stuff, I seriously can't relax myself enough to do it, and that kills me because I used to enjoy it. Every intelligent person knows the joy of having studied hard and passed a test or worked for hours on a difficult writing assignment. I would love to get back into that area since it's my dream to be like spidey, smart but still cool at the same time, but this lack of sex is just damning me to hell. Really, how do other people do it? How do they survive this nonsense?

I guess they just run away from their stupid school and home life and learn the birds and bees themselves. It's stupid crap that most schools don't teach it and I have to suffer for an entire month before I possibly have an opportunity to learn the good stuff from the airforce. 23, I'll be if I get enlisted. Sad thing is that I could have gotten in a lot sooner if I didn't have such stupid parents, and no this isn't just your typical spoiled brat blaming his parents for everything, these guys hate me. I was a terror as a toddler so they are taking their hatred out on me now that they can get away with it. They starved me for a year while I was trying to learn to shave just in case you don't realize how bad I had it. I eventually stuck to my guns and they came back to their senses once I nearly died from a stomach virus thing. But eh... I just have to deal with this. Nothing I can do...