Reading is Sex to me

I enjoy reading, always have. I read everything I could since I started learning my ABC's. I'm at a point now though where my brain's changing or some stuff and my desire for women is over-taking my hunger for intellectual exploration. I was on my way to becoming an elite mind back in high school, not necessarily because of any special gifts, of which I have none, but because of my incessant drive to succeed. Some part of that lives within me, screaming like a wild animal, a beast, like stallone described in Rocky Balboa. At College though I discovered the way the world of thought really is. I'm used to writing what I honestly think, it's just the way I always thought writing was, but in truth the reason we have colleges is because of the power of the written word and that people need to be taught how to decipher what's good and bad from texts out there. In the sciences and mathematics fields, there's only one right answer, so there's no debating there. In philosophy, politics, religion, stuff like that, people are at constant war over what the truth is.

I see it spilling online as my generation wakes up to the adult world's problems and people start to question who we are, why we're here, what's right, what's wrong, what's normal vs abnormal... I made the fatal mistake of trying to play like a lawyer and develop a manipulative argument called sophistry one time and got what was coming... so I now know why most people prefer to stay clear of lies and leave that to the politicians and the lawyers. Lies are exactly as bad as they're made to seem when you're a kid. Yet we all live a lie every day when we pretend to like each other. I can see right through people when I'm out there. It's the little squinting of the eye, a show of distrust and condescention because I'm black, then of course there's the indifference some have as a way of showing they're not like their racist friends, so by treating me as any regular guy, they're being generous and kind to this lesser being. Sigh, it's disheartening for sure, but I view it as all part of the grand design of things. What would the world be like if everyone was the same anyway? Maybe we're supposed to have confict, compete to force each other to become stronger. I like that idea. Fuck the easy path.

That's why I honestly don't feel sorry for the dumbass who's complaining about racism like an Al Sharpton wannabe. You bet your ass there are people in high places who don't want you to exist because you're ugly and look like you're covered in shit. Just Fight them. Stop whining and fight... That's what being American is all about...