Day 2

I've stayed off the porn all day yesterday and I'm going to try to make it through the rest of this day. It's hard though. When I'm outside and there's all this heavy abundance of tits and ass everywhere, I can't stop thinking about sexual relations. It's just not fair.

Oh well. I'll have to toughen up as a military man. it's the 25th now. That's nearly a month. My recruiter said it'll take up to 30 or 45 days for the process to work. I'm so excited about it but at the same time worried too. I don't know how to be an adult, especially a black adult. all the black adults around me are either idiots or crazy. So who am I supposed to try to be like except white people? It's a good thing barack's kind of changing perception on blacks though, if only so little. It's up to the rest of blacks to stop being stupid and be good role models for their kids. No one's going to do it but them... Not that there aren't already many good black role models, you know I'm just talking about the deadbeat crazy ass ones.

On race though, I'm just not into dealing with white kids. White adults are good people for the most part, but the kids, I'm not goddamn ready for the ridiculous shit they'll be doing through immaturity. I don't know what to do when confronted by some of them sometimes. I guess just shrug it off as kids being kids and move on, become a scientist. I know that most of these kids I'll meet will have never met a black person in their entire life, so I'll need to be walking on eggshells so as not to spook them or anything. Every time I try to mind my own business though, someone always drags me into some stuff, out of boredom or whatever. Sigh, whatever. At least I'll be on my way to a degree.