On that same note, like I said a few posts back the military is racist as well as being homophobic. Now now, I'm racist too I'll admit. I grew up going to all black/hispanic schools, with white teachers, only met white kids periodically not on a daily basis and then as I got older I realized they really didn't like me at all except in a curiosity sense, "oh all black guys must want to fuck white chicks, even fat ones." So I kind of feel ill at ease around whites though I know it's wrong, it's just from my life experiences.
But one of the things that pissed me off was that so I'm sitting there in the clinic cuz they gave me a cold virus somehow, weird I know but they know ways, and There's a bunch of young girls there, brunette over there kinda looking like a model, blonde over there, then my buddy next to me some white kid claims he's got a girlfriend back home he's fighting for in the mil, whatever, points out the ugliest black girl on earth as potential wife material for me.
That right there is the root of racism in the military, they're quite sure enough fearful that if blacks had it their way they'd pass their genes on to white and asian girls exclusively. Girls don't approach guys, they sit on their thumbs waiting for men to come to them right, so it's very easy for a black guy to score with a white chick these days, and in fact it's better for our species because that's what sex is all about diversifying our genes as much as possible to increase our potential to survive... I think about it some times. There's actually more women in this society than men, so it's not out of the realm of possibility to get a white wife like Tiger. Just get rich, go find some poor white chicks and you're good. Money's money to hos of all colors.
But that guy is wrong. I love black women more than white women to be honest. Bigger tits, sexier curves, longer lasting looks, and I've never really known any other kind of female to be honest. But to point me towards one that looks 40 or some shit, and be all like "well I guess you don't like your own kind." just ignorant, plain ignorant. I love females, lovely curvacious, young females, with big tits. And I don't care if they're blue or green. It's the baby making part that messes me up badly since I don't want to do it. But THEY do, and funnily enough there's a ton of females now out there I've noticed of all races who can't find husbands whether white or whatever else. In fact there's a backlash to feminism going on now that the movement actually succeeded in destroying males. I'm patiently waiting to see the outcome of it.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Goodbye January
Like in 07 I once again failed to go a whole month without shooting my slime. I can't even walk around my neighborhood without seeing a nice pair of tits and wanting to grab em up, how do other guys manage to survive?
The thing is that people have this belief that you shouldn't go screwing chicks until your married to them, what a world, huh. Old people ruining young people's lives as usual, but they don't care. Got have some guts to survive in this terrible world. I will not ever bring kids into it. I'm going to train my body to live without ejaculating from now on, though it's torture to do so.
That's my ace in the hole btw. That we humans, we think we know it all, we go around pissing on other people for not being "right" in our eyes, but overall we're still slaves to one thing, SEX. Everybody, maybe not the few who don't have a sex drive, but no matter who you are, sex is huge part of your life, probably the biggest. I mean, some people are elitist and all that, but they still get busy same as anyone, so who do they think they are? Damn. The airforce, I don't know if it was just sadistic torture or not, but they were kind of keeping me locked up to see how long I'd be able to last without wanting to fuck a girl. Needless to say I quickly got the fuck away from the military. They hate gays but they keep a guy with a functioning dick away from all the beautiful little 18 year old hotties just happening to be walking around a military base? Fucking fuck.
The thing is that people have this belief that you shouldn't go screwing chicks until your married to them, what a world, huh. Old people ruining young people's lives as usual, but they don't care. Got have some guts to survive in this terrible world. I will not ever bring kids into it. I'm going to train my body to live without ejaculating from now on, though it's torture to do so.
That's my ace in the hole btw. That we humans, we think we know it all, we go around pissing on other people for not being "right" in our eyes, but overall we're still slaves to one thing, SEX. Everybody, maybe not the few who don't have a sex drive, but no matter who you are, sex is huge part of your life, probably the biggest. I mean, some people are elitist and all that, but they still get busy same as anyone, so who do they think they are? Damn. The airforce, I don't know if it was just sadistic torture or not, but they were kind of keeping me locked up to see how long I'd be able to last without wanting to fuck a girl. Needless to say I quickly got the fuck away from the military. They hate gays but they keep a guy with a functioning dick away from all the beautiful little 18 year old hotties just happening to be walking around a military base? Fucking fuck.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Only a matter of time
only a matter of time until my next relapse. I AM addicted to porn and girls and their little baby making bodies, not that there's anything wrong with that. If you really think about it, some addictions are ok to have, it's when they're causing you harm that you need to worry, and although masturbating all the time used to feel great, for whatever reason it's not as strong a sensation anymore. I think maybe I just need to cut back on when I do it, instead of every day, just ever week instead.
Back when I was 15 and started shooting semen all over the place to images of sailor moon or bulma, I dreamed up a girl one night while wet-dreaming. Ever since then she's been a part of me, almost like a real girlfriend, though I don't view her that way, she's more like my own daughter/girlfriend since I designed her from the ground up. She's white, brunette, and dumb as a brick. I call her Ronda, after a police woman I remember from 3rd grade. I spent 3 years of my life during high school sketching her entire life story, who she was etc. If I still had all of it, threw it away stupidly when I became infatuated with holly, you'd clearly see what inspired me. I had stuff from dbz, sailor moon, dark angel, supergirl, wonderwoman, and even pokemon in there. So that's how I know how artists work, they just take what's there and re-arrange it. Who is she?
Bam! motherfucka!
But that's not even close to how indepth I got with her storyline. And to this day I want to re-do it now that I've learned hentai is a legitimate business. If I knew I could sell my porno drawings I'd have done just that since the shit was epic, imagine dbz but with a girl and every time she fought she got naked, that's it really...
Back when I was 15 and started shooting semen all over the place to images of sailor moon or bulma, I dreamed up a girl one night while wet-dreaming. Ever since then she's been a part of me, almost like a real girlfriend, though I don't view her that way, she's more like my own daughter/girlfriend since I designed her from the ground up. She's white, brunette, and dumb as a brick. I call her Ronda, after a police woman I remember from 3rd grade. I spent 3 years of my life during high school sketching her entire life story, who she was etc. If I still had all of it, threw it away stupidly when I became infatuated with holly, you'd clearly see what inspired me. I had stuff from dbz, sailor moon, dark angel, supergirl, wonderwoman, and even pokemon in there. So that's how I know how artists work, they just take what's there and re-arrange it. Who is she?
Bam! motherfucka!
But that's not even close to how indepth I got with her storyline. And to this day I want to re-do it now that I've learned hentai is a legitimate business. If I knew I could sell my porno drawings I'd have done just that since the shit was epic, imagine dbz but with a girl and every time she fought she got naked, that's it really...
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Army Guns part 2
So I relapsed again. Shame too, since I was doing well. It's just that my mind is very good at convincing me that one little go around with some porn won't hurt a bit, then I splooge and I get my endorphin rush which is like no where near the type of rush I got at 15, but for whatever reason it's all I have, so i roll with it.
Fixin to join the army. I got to get me some damn money, so I can get by. But i'm permanently handicapped by this problem. And I know this... people will manipulate me into doing whatever it is they want, but to hell with whether I get what I want. Sad but true, this world's out to fuck us men up, we ain't squat to it. I mean I'm continuously irked that people gang up on you if you don't conform to their little ideals.
Avatar's the highest grossing movie now. Jesus. I didn't see that coming. I liked the movie reminds me of when movies were more simple instead of the overdone kitchen sinkers we get every year now. But to be honest it's not the end all be all of movies. City of God, goddamn, what else, hell even recent video games rival it for spectacle and story, probably the 3d is the root of its success. At least it's better than that literal ass fest of a film transformers 2. I know.. kids love it, but fuck kids, the movie didn't know what it was doing. I hate it except for the cool forest fight. But having a few moments echo the good stuff from the toon doesn't save it. That's like a defense for ratner's garbage.
I mean, I'm not going to cram my opinion down anyone's throat because I know now that it's not worth it. But undeniably he's a soulless business man looking to make a buck and not create profound works that challenge the mind. Pisses me off that like with ang lee's hulk, most people online don't give a shit about movies that force you to think.
But whatever. Oh and I'm using firefox to post this, that's one good thing that came out of today. I was so confused about why firefox wasn't loading web pages and I had to use the shitty internet explorer instead, but I fiddled around with the built in firewall on my laptop and it's working just like new now. fuck yeah. I was happy as can be, but then i realized the speaker's still broken on it, so there goes watching any toons or movies. It worked for a bit but now it's completely dead. I can only guess that using it in the bathroom caused it some trouble with all the humidity and moisture in the air, must have gotten into it. It's dead now, dead dead dead, which angers me.
So the battle continues. I'm a god capable of creating new life and that new life will not stop bothering me until it has been created, fucking shit...
Fixin to join the army. I got to get me some damn money, so I can get by. But i'm permanently handicapped by this problem. And I know this... people will manipulate me into doing whatever it is they want, but to hell with whether I get what I want. Sad but true, this world's out to fuck us men up, we ain't squat to it. I mean I'm continuously irked that people gang up on you if you don't conform to their little ideals.
Avatar's the highest grossing movie now. Jesus. I didn't see that coming. I liked the movie reminds me of when movies were more simple instead of the overdone kitchen sinkers we get every year now. But to be honest it's not the end all be all of movies. City of God, goddamn, what else, hell even recent video games rival it for spectacle and story, probably the 3d is the root of its success. At least it's better than that literal ass fest of a film transformers 2. I know.. kids love it, but fuck kids, the movie didn't know what it was doing. I hate it except for the cool forest fight. But having a few moments echo the good stuff from the toon doesn't save it. That's like a defense for ratner's garbage.
I mean, I'm not going to cram my opinion down anyone's throat because I know now that it's not worth it. But undeniably he's a soulless business man looking to make a buck and not create profound works that challenge the mind. Pisses me off that like with ang lee's hulk, most people online don't give a shit about movies that force you to think.
But whatever. Oh and I'm using firefox to post this, that's one good thing that came out of today. I was so confused about why firefox wasn't loading web pages and I had to use the shitty internet explorer instead, but I fiddled around with the built in firewall on my laptop and it's working just like new now. fuck yeah. I was happy as can be, but then i realized the speaker's still broken on it, so there goes watching any toons or movies. It worked for a bit but now it's completely dead. I can only guess that using it in the bathroom caused it some trouble with all the humidity and moisture in the air, must have gotten into it. It's dead now, dead dead dead, which angers me.
So the battle continues. I'm a god capable of creating new life and that new life will not stop bothering me until it has been created, fucking shit...
Monday, January 25, 2010
Back on top but for how long
I'm loving the posters for the avatar last airbender movie. I forgot about that movie, kinda lost interest in it I guess. I reasoned after superman returns sucked away a few years of my life that I'd keep out of online discussion of upcoming films, just too painful an experience and the thing about online life is that astonishingly people don't just leave the interent, not now, not ever. People I pissed off in the past, still want me dead today, which is both frightening and intriguing at the same time because I certainly have my goals in life set in stone, get some pussy, hopefully asian, but these other dudes, I don't know... guess they're crazy. forgiveness man... Gonna need a lot of it in life if you want to make it to the end of your days with some dignity.
So I've quit masturbating again. I'm not going to kid myself though. I'll relapse. I'll feel great, and wonder why I ever quit in the first place, then when the high is gone, I'll wish I'd never relapsed.
Never noticed there were so many girls online until now. But yeah most of the super intelligent people online are girls like my sister. But they have one weakness, they love sucking dicks.
Let me elaborate on what I think here. I never really thought about it before because it didn't matter back when I was little, but girls are weak. They certainly may have a lot of brains, and in fact that's their only defense against much bigger stronger men, but they become little princess barbie again when a big strapping alpha male enters the room, and he doesn't have to be a genius although being both super smart and super strong will get her panties off in a flash. I mean I watch porn stars who are elite super brains and it boggles me. Some of them are mensa members, an elite organization that's mainly occupied by geniuses.
Reminds me of Sabrina frato, my first ever girlfriend. She's quick, I noticed that and liked that about her immediately. She's always thinking, probably can't even shut her brain off, she's so smart. But she's still a little girl in the end when it comes to liking boys, and expecting us to be the big strong man in the relationship. It truly blows my mind that girls want to do it all, and yet continue to play the female role for old times sake.
Too bad I'm not dumb enough to fall for it. Sex is a powerful thing, but I'm more than my sex drive and everybody knows that. The question is, are girls... What does she want ultimately, I ask myself... babies? just the orgasms? I conclude what many men conclude then. Women don't know what they want. They're children, bouncing around in life without direction and need a man to guide them. I know it's not PC, but nothing's pc. I'm black afterall. My prospects in life are already limited due to something that was out of my control, however I do have a few aces in the hole with regard to my survival.
So I've quit masturbating again. I'm not going to kid myself though. I'll relapse. I'll feel great, and wonder why I ever quit in the first place, then when the high is gone, I'll wish I'd never relapsed.
Never noticed there were so many girls online until now. But yeah most of the super intelligent people online are girls like my sister. But they have one weakness, they love sucking dicks.
Let me elaborate on what I think here. I never really thought about it before because it didn't matter back when I was little, but girls are weak. They certainly may have a lot of brains, and in fact that's their only defense against much bigger stronger men, but they become little princess barbie again when a big strapping alpha male enters the room, and he doesn't have to be a genius although being both super smart and super strong will get her panties off in a flash. I mean I watch porn stars who are elite super brains and it boggles me. Some of them are mensa members, an elite organization that's mainly occupied by geniuses.
Reminds me of Sabrina frato, my first ever girlfriend. She's quick, I noticed that and liked that about her immediately. She's always thinking, probably can't even shut her brain off, she's so smart. But she's still a little girl in the end when it comes to liking boys, and expecting us to be the big strong man in the relationship. It truly blows my mind that girls want to do it all, and yet continue to play the female role for old times sake.
Too bad I'm not dumb enough to fall for it. Sex is a powerful thing, but I'm more than my sex drive and everybody knows that. The question is, are girls... What does she want ultimately, I ask myself... babies? just the orgasms? I conclude what many men conclude then. Women don't know what they want. They're children, bouncing around in life without direction and need a man to guide them. I know it's not PC, but nothing's pc. I'm black afterall. My prospects in life are already limited due to something that was out of my control, however I do have a few aces in the hole with regard to my survival.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
anti-intellectualism
One of the more surprising revelations I discovered in my very long now 8 year tenure as an online veteran of not only the superman wars but the star wars war, and to some extent the batman begins war, is that there are people very likely complete loonatics who wish the internet would become a bit more enlightened and classy, in a way conducive to more intelligent discussion similar to a court room or whatever.
It's like this in a lot of places I realize. People have a perception of what it means to be a mature adult, and expect others around them to conform or else. Or else stfu really. Like yeah there really are elite academies dedicated to studying the highest forms of art and science. So when one of these super smart people comes online and find aOMBAGGAAHHIODFD FUCK SHIT PORN FART DOO DOO as the highest level of intelligent debate, they get pissed needless to say.
I don't know. The true root of the problem is that the internet is occupied by dumbass kids for the most part, so of course they're not quoting shakespeare and shit.
In my first online encounter with one of these grown ass smart folk, I was a dumbass kid. I'd gotten good grades in my honors program at high school, so I figured I was capable of taking on someone who probably finished his masters degree program somewhere. Boy was I wrong, he ate me alive and destroyed me psychologically so much that I never really got back to my former good student self and never got a girlfriend, spent most of my time trying to twist my mind around how weak I was in the face of that douche. Then I woke up one day and realized that I was FUCKING 16. Of course I didn't know what I was saying.
But it's my fault really. I was reckless in thinking the internet was as safe as school, there's assholes all over the damn place no matter where you go.
Anyway so now I'm an adult by law, whatever the hell that means. I don't know anything more than I ever knew as a kid except that people are even MORE insane when they get older than they were as children. One good thing I figured out was that men still rule the world, not ever going to change. When your a gee golly kid you're raised by a bunch of old ugly females telling you how to be a man somehow, then when you turn out gay, they're like "wtf" about it.
I'm saddened that I'm not the only young male to be EXPECTED to suddenly become master of sex and most AWESOME MAN EVER over night after being raised to basically be a boy forever by a bunch of women.
Where was I... oh, the internet and its many problems. I don't take the internet seriously anymore, though I did once when I was much younger, and many more will do the same in the future as they find the internet to be a safe place away from the harsh realities of this world, but I'm firmly with those in the "fuck it" camp when it comes to trying to class up the internet. And in fact, I love pushing things to their extremes. What would happen if the internet was a sesspool full of stupidity, rampant nonsense, etc. Really? What? And on top of that, the joke is that no matter how smart we humans think we are, each generation looks back on the last and laughs at their stupidity.
So it's inevitable.
It's like this in a lot of places I realize. People have a perception of what it means to be a mature adult, and expect others around them to conform or else. Or else stfu really. Like yeah there really are elite academies dedicated to studying the highest forms of art and science. So when one of these super smart people comes online and find aOMBAGGAAHHIODFD FUCK SHIT PORN FART DOO DOO as the highest level of intelligent debate, they get pissed needless to say.
I don't know. The true root of the problem is that the internet is occupied by dumbass kids for the most part, so of course they're not quoting shakespeare and shit.
In my first online encounter with one of these grown ass smart folk, I was a dumbass kid. I'd gotten good grades in my honors program at high school, so I figured I was capable of taking on someone who probably finished his masters degree program somewhere. Boy was I wrong, he ate me alive and destroyed me psychologically so much that I never really got back to my former good student self and never got a girlfriend, spent most of my time trying to twist my mind around how weak I was in the face of that douche. Then I woke up one day and realized that I was FUCKING 16. Of course I didn't know what I was saying.
But it's my fault really. I was reckless in thinking the internet was as safe as school, there's assholes all over the damn place no matter where you go.
Anyway so now I'm an adult by law, whatever the hell that means. I don't know anything more than I ever knew as a kid except that people are even MORE insane when they get older than they were as children. One good thing I figured out was that men still rule the world, not ever going to change. When your a gee golly kid you're raised by a bunch of old ugly females telling you how to be a man somehow, then when you turn out gay, they're like "wtf" about it.
I'm saddened that I'm not the only young male to be EXPECTED to suddenly become master of sex and most AWESOME MAN EVER over night after being raised to basically be a boy forever by a bunch of women.
Where was I... oh, the internet and its many problems. I don't take the internet seriously anymore, though I did once when I was much younger, and many more will do the same in the future as they find the internet to be a safe place away from the harsh realities of this world, but I'm firmly with those in the "fuck it" camp when it comes to trying to class up the internet. And in fact, I love pushing things to their extremes. What would happen if the internet was a sesspool full of stupidity, rampant nonsense, etc. Really? What? And on top of that, the joke is that no matter how smart we humans think we are, each generation looks back on the last and laughs at their stupidity.
So it's inevitable.
To be or Not to be
I've got nothing left in the tank... I've been trying to quit masturbating for the last 4 years, doesn't seem that long in hindsight, but it's been a hell of a journey, struggling to figure out what to do between my high and low moments. Life it would seem is about deciding whether to be a slave to your own urges or master them, become disciplined and mature which is harder.
I wake up everyday and feel like I should seize the day because while in bmt I had all my freedoms taken away from me. Psychologically they broke me down so well in there, that I still wake up feeling like I have to go run around and do pt before breakfast, they trained me like a dog, that's what they do in there to their soldiers, fuck around with their heads to the point where they listen to orders without question. I failed bmt because I was too stubborn to listen to direct orders. I think now that maybe I should have stood up when commanded, and shit. I'd have a steady job, prestigious uniform and all. And probably be doing IT, but god would i still have a load of semen in my balls everyday that I couldn't get rid of...
It's just not. stopping.... What was it all for, all my hard ass work to finish high school, move on to college, get bombarded with debt, then ultimately push myself hard in the mil only to come back home to my gigs of porn, alone, with but the joys of brief relief from my ever present addiction.
I tire of it. My Age creeps up on me now like I've never known it to before. How is it that I'm not even in my prime physically yet but I feel nearly dead already.
Should I give up trying is the question. My sister ironically in all her pomposity has never had to really think about it. Girls just bend over and penises fly at them. It must be nice.
I wake up everyday and feel like I should seize the day because while in bmt I had all my freedoms taken away from me. Psychologically they broke me down so well in there, that I still wake up feeling like I have to go run around and do pt before breakfast, they trained me like a dog, that's what they do in there to their soldiers, fuck around with their heads to the point where they listen to orders without question. I failed bmt because I was too stubborn to listen to direct orders. I think now that maybe I should have stood up when commanded, and shit. I'd have a steady job, prestigious uniform and all. And probably be doing IT, but god would i still have a load of semen in my balls everyday that I couldn't get rid of...
It's just not. stopping.... What was it all for, all my hard ass work to finish high school, move on to college, get bombarded with debt, then ultimately push myself hard in the mil only to come back home to my gigs of porn, alone, with but the joys of brief relief from my ever present addiction.
I tire of it. My Age creeps up on me now like I've never known it to before. How is it that I'm not even in my prime physically yet but I feel nearly dead already.
Should I give up trying is the question. My sister ironically in all her pomposity has never had to really think about it. Girls just bend over and penises fly at them. It must be nice.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Fixed my laptop but I can't fix me
What a damn retarded thing sexuality is. I need to buy a whole new laptop, preferrably a cheap but really suped up one like they make now. Used to be, back in the good ol days, laptops cost upwards of 2000 dollars and you got maybe 5 gigs of hardrive space and windows 98, and omg it was HUGE. bUT NOW they're like mine which I'm using right now, slim, long battery life, built in microphone, keyboard light, all sorts of little additions which makes computing easier, oh and 65gigs for all your porn collecting needs. My sister gave me this as a hand-me-down present for landing that airport job. She treats me like a dog for her own amusement. YAY! ISN'T LIFE FUN!
But I broke it. The speaker must have a wire loose because the sound sputters on and off from time to time, and the casing is cracked from when I dropped it. She's a tough laptop, I'll giver her that, but she's not that tough. Went off to rite aid and bought some monkey glue to patch her up and now the casing's good as new. I like monkey glue more than epoxy which is the preferred glue for fixing computer casings because the stuff doesn't require mixing and really is extremely durable similar to epoxy. If any kids are reading, ask your parents for monkey glue if you break anything that's plastic, don't bother with super glue or epoxy, not as good.
I used some on my sunglasses too since I broke one of the legs or whatever it's called for the glasses.
Anyway I relapsed again. Shot my load like 5 times today it's been that fucked up. I feel like I'm dying without shooting a spot of sperm and on top of that, no one gives a shit about me. Sex is supposed to be glorious, not torture. I remember when I started puberty, I couldn't wait to get the fuck away from school so I could masturbate. now I wish I never started.
But I broke it. The speaker must have a wire loose because the sound sputters on and off from time to time, and the casing is cracked from when I dropped it. She's a tough laptop, I'll giver her that, but she's not that tough. Went off to rite aid and bought some monkey glue to patch her up and now the casing's good as new. I like monkey glue more than epoxy which is the preferred glue for fixing computer casings because the stuff doesn't require mixing and really is extremely durable similar to epoxy. If any kids are reading, ask your parents for monkey glue if you break anything that's plastic, don't bother with super glue or epoxy, not as good.
I used some on my sunglasses too since I broke one of the legs or whatever it's called for the glasses.
Anyway I relapsed again. Shot my load like 5 times today it's been that fucked up. I feel like I'm dying without shooting a spot of sperm and on top of that, no one gives a shit about me. Sex is supposed to be glorious, not torture. I remember when I started puberty, I couldn't wait to get the fuck away from school so I could masturbate. now I wish I never started.
Abstain Pain part 2
Damn is this hard. I've been through hell in my life that I'm proud of myself for overcoming. I've gotten beaten up, I've studied hard and passed tests, I've had to endure weeks of rigorous course works that I only realize now was completely pointless since I'm just another insignificant worker bee after all that bullshit, I've been raised by idiots, somehow came through basic military training, but ABOVE IT ALL, the one thing that I cannot conquer is porn.
And it hurts... it physically hurts to stop getting my fix.
I read and read and read constantly about other people trying to quit too. Some guy has a blog and chronicles his efforts to live a clean life free of masturbation. This is a complex issue since some people argue that you can't quit, others that you can, it's both a blessing and a curse. I'm kind of glad that I have the potential to make kids, but I'd like to choose to turn off the faucet at some point if you know what I'm saying...
I can't think straight. I can't even remember things that were once clear in my mind, now they exist as vague shadows.
There must be a better side of life than this.
And it hurts... it physically hurts to stop getting my fix.
I read and read and read constantly about other people trying to quit too. Some guy has a blog and chronicles his efforts to live a clean life free of masturbation. This is a complex issue since some people argue that you can't quit, others that you can, it's both a blessing and a curse. I'm kind of glad that I have the potential to make kids, but I'd like to choose to turn off the faucet at some point if you know what I'm saying...
I can't think straight. I can't even remember things that were once clear in my mind, now they exist as vague shadows.
There must be a better side of life than this.
Monday, January 18, 2010
I feel like ass
I took that pic with my cell phone while I was in training for the airforce. I was the biggest I'd ever been after those weeks of gym use. I'd made money at my airport job and decided to get a gym membership and got a personal trainer who was worth the money, except for how much he insisted I continue buying more gym products and workout plans. That's a salesman, ruthlessly trying to make a buck. I didn't buy it and I pushed myself very hard to get bigger and stronger so I'd have an easier time in training, it sucked ass though not masturbating for those training days...
On that note, I've quit again, but as usual my body is in withdrawl mode. I know no one online cares about my problems, and especially considering there's people now in haiti who are in REAL shit lifestyle wise, I shouldn't be complaining, and I don't want to, it's just something that's like a constant drain on me that I can't fix.
Right now the airforce is in haiti helping people, so I read on cnn. Imagine that, some of the most racist motherfuckers in the world helping a bunch of black people. Yeah the military's racist, run by mostly white people, so of course they are. Maybe it's to make themselves look good on the news, or maybe they genuinely want to help, I don't know. Seemed like they were more concerned with their quality of life than anyone else when I was in there. They have this policy written in stone that every airforce member needs to feel good to be good at their job, no duh.
That's why I don't have a job now. I don't feel good. And no one gives a shit about me in this world except for how much shit they can get me to do whether it be go die in war or work a dead end job. slavery by a different name. "But we're paying you fur diz arunt weee?" some douche bag corporate slave would retort. Yes you are, but it's the job or nothing, exactly as you want it to be, same as slavery. no male in this society can simply quit his job and tra la la la go do whatever he wants...
It's like this. When you get a job as a man, you're a slave no matter what you want to believe. You can't do the job any way you want to do it, you follow rules, then you have to be willing to be a child basically obeying their parents, in this case bosses. College is only thing that allows you more freedom at work, but that's it, otherwise prepare to become another number in a big monstrous corporation. That's what pissed me off most, that even after you fight and claw your way through hell to do the right thing and finish your education, jokes on you, because now you'll be doing the same damn thing for the rest of your life, trying to get rewarded for good work by some old fuckers telling you what to do.
I was shocked that as a grown man (or so the law makes it seem) yeah I have to kneel and suck an often older man's dick to be able to survive in this world. What happened to all those silly rights I learned so much about in that fabulous school? Oh, right, school's just a big baby sitting business. the real world's a big ass free for all run by the very same assholes you hated in first grade, but now they're fucking like monkeys and have kids of their own to abuse.
I see gossip websites and I notice the same pattern, young and old celebrities getting into trouble over two things, sex and money. Tiger of course being the most famous one now. a black man who got himself the golden ticket in life ,a blond white woman, and fucked it up for himself. Idiot. I'll tell you straight up I'm not fully attracted to white girls, but yeah sad truth is that if you get one pregnant, your kids will be better-off, exactly why racism still persists in all lighter skinned people, the fear of blacks taking their daughters. Shit, but then i discover that some white girls only like blacks, period which is just way beyond my understanding, but everything in this world is beyond my understanding honestly. I'm mixed for that particular reason i guess, some white guy or white girl along the line decided 'fuck it' and got a downgrade, or honestly couldn't psychologically be attracted to their own race, weird bullshit but it does happen.
Still it's not like the media gives a fuck. Most tv and movies are still majority white as if there wasn't any kind of history making election a few years ago. 2 years almost with a black president, and all I've done in that time is make white people hate black people even more, not like it matters, no one's special now. Whites have fucked up the country, blacks have fucked up the country, asians, hispanics, doesnt really matter who's in charge or what they believe in, they'll fuck it up regardless. One lesson you learn when you get older is that adults are very stupid, easily ready to fight over petty nonsense.
Or they do it purposely to piss you off like my former co-worker. I mean, I do it sometimes to, part of being human, but to constantly want to harrass a person and think of nothing else, not even getting some pussy, that's horrifying. And the sad thing was that NO ONE would have cared if that guy killed me or just kept harrassing me, no one... i think to myself, if I was female my life would be so different.
but that's life. Some people are insane, some people got to go sooner than others if you know what I mean.
On that note, I've quit again, but as usual my body is in withdrawl mode. I know no one online cares about my problems, and especially considering there's people now in haiti who are in REAL shit lifestyle wise, I shouldn't be complaining, and I don't want to, it's just something that's like a constant drain on me that I can't fix.
Right now the airforce is in haiti helping people, so I read on cnn. Imagine that, some of the most racist motherfuckers in the world helping a bunch of black people. Yeah the military's racist, run by mostly white people, so of course they are. Maybe it's to make themselves look good on the news, or maybe they genuinely want to help, I don't know. Seemed like they were more concerned with their quality of life than anyone else when I was in there. They have this policy written in stone that every airforce member needs to feel good to be good at their job, no duh.
That's why I don't have a job now. I don't feel good. And no one gives a shit about me in this world except for how much shit they can get me to do whether it be go die in war or work a dead end job. slavery by a different name. "But we're paying you fur diz arunt weee?" some douche bag corporate slave would retort. Yes you are, but it's the job or nothing, exactly as you want it to be, same as slavery. no male in this society can simply quit his job and tra la la la go do whatever he wants...
It's like this. When you get a job as a man, you're a slave no matter what you want to believe. You can't do the job any way you want to do it, you follow rules, then you have to be willing to be a child basically obeying their parents, in this case bosses. College is only thing that allows you more freedom at work, but that's it, otherwise prepare to become another number in a big monstrous corporation. That's what pissed me off most, that even after you fight and claw your way through hell to do the right thing and finish your education, jokes on you, because now you'll be doing the same damn thing for the rest of your life, trying to get rewarded for good work by some old fuckers telling you what to do.
I was shocked that as a grown man (or so the law makes it seem) yeah I have to kneel and suck an often older man's dick to be able to survive in this world. What happened to all those silly rights I learned so much about in that fabulous school? Oh, right, school's just a big baby sitting business. the real world's a big ass free for all run by the very same assholes you hated in first grade, but now they're fucking like monkeys and have kids of their own to abuse.
I see gossip websites and I notice the same pattern, young and old celebrities getting into trouble over two things, sex and money. Tiger of course being the most famous one now. a black man who got himself the golden ticket in life ,a blond white woman, and fucked it up for himself. Idiot. I'll tell you straight up I'm not fully attracted to white girls, but yeah sad truth is that if you get one pregnant, your kids will be better-off, exactly why racism still persists in all lighter skinned people, the fear of blacks taking their daughters. Shit, but then i discover that some white girls only like blacks, period which is just way beyond my understanding, but everything in this world is beyond my understanding honestly. I'm mixed for that particular reason i guess, some white guy or white girl along the line decided 'fuck it' and got a downgrade, or honestly couldn't psychologically be attracted to their own race, weird bullshit but it does happen.
Still it's not like the media gives a fuck. Most tv and movies are still majority white as if there wasn't any kind of history making election a few years ago. 2 years almost with a black president, and all I've done in that time is make white people hate black people even more, not like it matters, no one's special now. Whites have fucked up the country, blacks have fucked up the country, asians, hispanics, doesnt really matter who's in charge or what they believe in, they'll fuck it up regardless. One lesson you learn when you get older is that adults are very stupid, easily ready to fight over petty nonsense.
Or they do it purposely to piss you off like my former co-worker. I mean, I do it sometimes to, part of being human, but to constantly want to harrass a person and think of nothing else, not even getting some pussy, that's horrifying. And the sad thing was that NO ONE would have cared if that guy killed me or just kept harrassing me, no one... i think to myself, if I was female my life would be so different.
but that's life. Some people are insane, some people got to go sooner than others if you know what I mean.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
God's Army
One of the most surprising aspects of being in the military was learning what goes through a soldiers mind as he's out in the battle field killing brown people or whatever. "My faith in Jesus allows me to go into battle without fear." or something like that was one of the videos they showed us recruits.
Now i know this much, we're all going to die. Religion's our way of coping with that reality, by making life seem like more than a very long painful trip to the coffin. That's why women go crazy if a guy doesn't want to screw them, it's in their dna that they have to pass on their genes and continue the cycle... moreover, notice how almost every movie is about a boy becoming a man, finding a wife, having children. You can look at EVERYTHING and it all comes back to sex. Preferably heterosexual sex. Like in one movie the hero fights to protect his girlfriend or his children, or any number of reasons so that he can still have someone to have sex with at the end of the film. Spiderman doesn't fight because he's such a noble figure, he fights usually because the asshole villain stole MJ, same goes for a lot of heros.
Nowadays because women whined so much, more movies are about women fighting like men. But it's inaccurate because women won't ever fight to protect men and it sends a bad message to kids because they'll grow up thinking women won't need protecting. Honestly, fuck all this feminism, gayness, and whatever else. Men, REAL men are the hunter and gatherer, and a girl is supposed to be his supporter and whole goddamn reason for wanting to fight for survival. Period. I'm tired of being told I can be anything I want to be and bla bla bla. Not so.
I got all this shit in my balls and it just keeps coming and I can't do anything about it.
Now i know this much, we're all going to die. Religion's our way of coping with that reality, by making life seem like more than a very long painful trip to the coffin. That's why women go crazy if a guy doesn't want to screw them, it's in their dna that they have to pass on their genes and continue the cycle... moreover, notice how almost every movie is about a boy becoming a man, finding a wife, having children. You can look at EVERYTHING and it all comes back to sex. Preferably heterosexual sex. Like in one movie the hero fights to protect his girlfriend or his children, or any number of reasons so that he can still have someone to have sex with at the end of the film. Spiderman doesn't fight because he's such a noble figure, he fights usually because the asshole villain stole MJ, same goes for a lot of heros.
Nowadays because women whined so much, more movies are about women fighting like men. But it's inaccurate because women won't ever fight to protect men and it sends a bad message to kids because they'll grow up thinking women won't need protecting. Honestly, fuck all this feminism, gayness, and whatever else. Men, REAL men are the hunter and gatherer, and a girl is supposed to be his supporter and whole goddamn reason for wanting to fight for survival. Period. I'm tired of being told I can be anything I want to be and bla bla bla. Not so.
I got all this shit in my balls and it just keeps coming and I can't do anything about it.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Shit
So I busted a nut today. i look down at my kids and it's amazing, their just white ooze. so that's how we all begin, huh.
I'll be damned though. I never really thought about actually being capable of creating new life. It's sad to think that I'm doing nothing more than the same thing some rat in a sewer does though, fuck and make kids, then his own kids make kids, and on and on and on.
I'm tired of being so hopelessly addicted to porn though. It's not my personal mission in life to become a parent.
I knew back in hs that most of the dudes around me would some day become pre-occupied solely with parenthood instead of any possible accomplishments like creating a time travel device like I planned to do. The mission is still there for me.
i just need to hang on a while longer and stop the porn. it's just that there's shit going on around me, people who want to force me to impregnate a bitch or they'll kick my ass, I don't get it... you know how much kids cost? And I will never brng a child into this horrid world full of stupidity and very human fallacies. I sometimes think that I should be dead already but I continue to linger in this world without purpose.
I'm already dead really. A sad fact of life is that the person you were at 10, dissapears once you hit puberty. I remember my old self only as a vague memory. I was truly a mini-genius. I felt a deep need to be the best. Nothing bothered me either, which is a mark of childhood, you feel great prettymuch everyday due to not having sexual urges. Your endorphins must be at max or something. Then you die. All of that goes away and you lose all interest in anything but girls.
Which is both good and bad...
I'll be damned though. I never really thought about actually being capable of creating new life. It's sad to think that I'm doing nothing more than the same thing some rat in a sewer does though, fuck and make kids, then his own kids make kids, and on and on and on.
I'm tired of being so hopelessly addicted to porn though. It's not my personal mission in life to become a parent.
I knew back in hs that most of the dudes around me would some day become pre-occupied solely with parenthood instead of any possible accomplishments like creating a time travel device like I planned to do. The mission is still there for me.
i just need to hang on a while longer and stop the porn. it's just that there's shit going on around me, people who want to force me to impregnate a bitch or they'll kick my ass, I don't get it... you know how much kids cost? And I will never brng a child into this horrid world full of stupidity and very human fallacies. I sometimes think that I should be dead already but I continue to linger in this world without purpose.
I'm already dead really. A sad fact of life is that the person you were at 10, dissapears once you hit puberty. I remember my old self only as a vague memory. I was truly a mini-genius. I felt a deep need to be the best. Nothing bothered me either, which is a mark of childhood, you feel great prettymuch everyday due to not having sexual urges. Your endorphins must be at max or something. Then you die. All of that goes away and you lose all interest in anything but girls.
Which is both good and bad...
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Black girls can't find good men
Well no shit. Damn... what a stupid ass world. These girls complain online about not finding guys who aren't assholes and then yeah they ignore guys like me. I feel angry about it. Since all my life i've been taught NOT to be an asshole. I be an asshole ONCE at a forum, and it turns me into the shamed internet guy for all eternity. I honestly could care less about everyone I talk to online, I don't know you fuckers, and you don't know me, so put me in the spotlight if you want to, means nothing.
One thing they get sore about is the racism angle, oh because they're black no black man wants them... ya kidding me? EVERY race has its advantages. White people age horribly. Asians age the best, and black women age extremely slow, almost invisibly because the sunlight can't really get to them, and for the most part they have some kind of humility and don't be thinking they're all that and a bag of 25cent doritos.
And their tits are huge.
ridiculous. That's why I like how races mix, and in fact the pure race stuff is nonsense. Imagine a white girl with black girl tits and ass, spanish chick's skin, and a little asian mouth, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jesus christ....
One thing they get sore about is the racism angle, oh because they're black no black man wants them... ya kidding me? EVERY race has its advantages. White people age horribly. Asians age the best, and black women age extremely slow, almost invisibly because the sunlight can't really get to them, and for the most part they have some kind of humility and don't be thinking they're all that and a bag of 25cent doritos.
And their tits are huge.
ridiculous. That's why I like how races mix, and in fact the pure race stuff is nonsense. Imagine a white girl with black girl tits and ass, spanish chick's skin, and a little asian mouth, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jesus christ....
So far so good
I've gone the last few days without spraying my kids into a sock.
Ain't that something... The psychoanalysis dude in the military said that we men don't have to masturbate, we can live without doing it, but it'll make us feel like crap.
AND BOY DO I FEEL LIKE A PILE OF HOT SHIT.
I was out today and oh god there was this girl walking down the street and she had an ass like ya know one of those apple bottoms, a badunkadunk butt.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Can't wait for summer to come.
Then I will come! yesssssssssss. That'll be my mission this year, to get some pussy. And I don't even care what age, 17, 23, don't matter to me anymore. Spanish bitches are my favorite now, though I still like white girls for their forbidden fruit appeal. It's just that society is so anti-sex outside of marrige it's ridiculous.
heh, I've gone 4 years trying desperately to figure out how my dick works and it seems that all I had to do was just stop watching porn I guess. My only problem is that the sexual energy is ready to burst. That's why I sometimes go crazy and come up with these weird artistic things, i have to release the sexual energy somewhere...
Ain't that something... The psychoanalysis dude in the military said that we men don't have to masturbate, we can live without doing it, but it'll make us feel like crap.
AND BOY DO I FEEL LIKE A PILE OF HOT SHIT.
I was out today and oh god there was this girl walking down the street and she had an ass like ya know one of those apple bottoms, a badunkadunk butt.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Can't wait for summer to come.
Then I will come! yesssssssssss. That'll be my mission this year, to get some pussy. And I don't even care what age, 17, 23, don't matter to me anymore. Spanish bitches are my favorite now, though I still like white girls for their forbidden fruit appeal. It's just that society is so anti-sex outside of marrige it's ridiculous.
heh, I've gone 4 years trying desperately to figure out how my dick works and it seems that all I had to do was just stop watching porn I guess. My only problem is that the sexual energy is ready to burst. That's why I sometimes go crazy and come up with these weird artistic things, i have to release the sexual energy somewhere...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Internet Cops
On that same note, I've come to realize there's like a bunch of guys patrolling the web, probably in the military themselves keeping an eye on me, searching for al quieda, keeping discussions civil. While in the airforce, man one of the cool parts was hearing about how government protects the usa from online attacks. Very interesting.
I don't know what to think though. About who deserves a voice online or not... It's been said that there's no law online, but that's not true... any group of people has expectations for "normal" behavior.
Corporations are trying to use the web as another place to make money too. They certainly can...
I believe if they really want to make money they can start doing a lot more e-distribution... online stores for instance. Create a place for kids to get some cool stuff, movies, videogames, porn, whatever. The problem I come across with it is that the games aren't worth buying, nor the films.
That's what sony's trying to do with psp, make a gaming platform that doesn't need discs and shit. Very interesting... Very good idea too, though some people don't have an internet connection, so how are they going to get games?
But I think the interent is firtile business ground. Maybe some day artists will release their work directly online instead of all this other stuff. It's becoming old hat to have to get in your car and go outside to get things isn't it...
I mean, if they're selling college degrees online, what can't be sold through this sucker?
I don't know what to think though. About who deserves a voice online or not... It's been said that there's no law online, but that's not true... any group of people has expectations for "normal" behavior.
Corporations are trying to use the web as another place to make money too. They certainly can...
I believe if they really want to make money they can start doing a lot more e-distribution... online stores for instance. Create a place for kids to get some cool stuff, movies, videogames, porn, whatever. The problem I come across with it is that the games aren't worth buying, nor the films.
That's what sony's trying to do with psp, make a gaming platform that doesn't need discs and shit. Very interesting... Very good idea too, though some people don't have an internet connection, so how are they going to get games?
But I think the interent is firtile business ground. Maybe some day artists will release their work directly online instead of all this other stuff. It's becoming old hat to have to get in your car and go outside to get things isn't it...
I mean, if they're selling college degrees online, what can't be sold through this sucker?
Kids on the internet
I realize something, a lot of white parents are sitting online with their kids and they're like pissed at me for going a little crazy and taking aim at their kids. Let me be clear, I will NEVER harm a child. I have nieces and a nephew. My niece is a stoooooooooooooopid teenage girl and needs to handled with kid gloves, she's so clueless about life.
My only contention is that I know more than any of the moms using the internet how boys online think.
Their for one thing, watching porn on it day and night. Next, we boys are TOUGH. We can take a lick and forget about it the next day. so don't worry about boys that much. The only problem is that if they're anything like i was back at 16, their entire life revolves around forums, not school. If a child psychologist is reading this, it is imperative that these kids not be on these forums constantly but getting girlfriends and experiencing bits of the real world. I didn't. I've been sitting here at my comp for the last 8 years and I honestly can't even think straight without being on it, I'm that addicted. But eh, I've come to terms with it really.
But yeah I feel kind of like holden in catcher. I know that kids have to get fucked up in life to learn, but I don't want them to feel the same pain I did...
My only contention is that I know more than any of the moms using the internet how boys online think.
Their for one thing, watching porn on it day and night. Next, we boys are TOUGH. We can take a lick and forget about it the next day. so don't worry about boys that much. The only problem is that if they're anything like i was back at 16, their entire life revolves around forums, not school. If a child psychologist is reading this, it is imperative that these kids not be on these forums constantly but getting girlfriends and experiencing bits of the real world. I didn't. I've been sitting here at my comp for the last 8 years and I honestly can't even think straight without being on it, I'm that addicted. But eh, I've come to terms with it really.
But yeah I feel kind of like holden in catcher. I know that kids have to get fucked up in life to learn, but I don't want them to feel the same pain I did...
A word on Writing
I'm watchin me some lotr. I don't know what to think... when I was in high school a priest talked to us about the film and its relation to the bible. I'm thinking... ok whatever, where da white wimmen at? Then at my other high school, one day when I was kinda fucked up beyond belief, I don't know whether it was real or not, but I was in the library and lotr was playing on all the tvs. Now I downloaded it and I'm watching it fo shizzle to pass the time as I stay the hell away from porn.
I don't give a frig about the visuals anymore, I'm too old to be impressed with fancy smancy cgi. It's hte dialogue that captivates me. It's poetic, meaning it has to be interpreted. Something some people it seems can't do. Let me say this about discussion online, I'm kind of tired of athiests crying about how not everyone wants to be perfectly logical all the time. Tough. As a grown ass man now I think you should realize that life isn't fair. All that fairytale bullshit you thought would happen as a kid, frankly isn't...
One of the things bmt taught me was that age is but a number. As a kid, you don't see it. You think all grown ups are mature adults who know what they're doing. sadly I found out that just as I am not all that mature, neither are any of the older people around me. The only thing that keeps us from completely destorying each other ironically is children. We have to put on an act of maturity in front of them. Poetic and sad at the same time, just as life is...
In addition, don't get me started on women. While in high school, I wasn't necessarily smarter than them, but I knew that you shouldn't take sex lightly. It IS a life changing event. Yet girls would FUCK around with my head as if that'd make them seem like wife material. Now what? Now they're in their 20s and don't want to get good grades anymore just as I predicted. I'm not perfect at judging people by any means or measure, but this I think i was spot on about... They need to be protected, probably from themselves, our women. Being female drives them crazy until they realize just how good it is to be female and then forget about wanting to be like men. LOL at women.
Anyway lotr's a film about one thing, hope. Let me tell you, I was what in 2001... uh around 15. Not a bad year, doing well in school, felt happy enough, got bullied to shit by the guys there, but whatever. I always had star wars to make life worth living. Then I went on aicn and they were going on and on about this Lotr shit besides any star wars news. I didn't care... wtf is this lotr ish. I mean the thing sounds like a porno title. Lord of the rings. NO Lord of the dance! I mean I'm no stranger to artsy fartsy movies and shit, but my interst in them was superficial, never cared for them.
Well I was wrong. Right around this time, harry potter came out too. The early 2000s were a great time. I was learning so much about the world of cinema and movies and honestly I was blown away by movies like the matrix etc. Kids are stupid, man, they don't know about classic cinema, everything is explosions and cgi. Films of the past had to rely solely on good writing.
What is good writing? That's for greater minds than mine to figure out. Some say yeah, you have to break words down into a mathamatical configuration, others say just write whatever the fuck comes to mind. EVERYTHING IS POLITICS. I mean, damn, some say life isn't even worth living, we should all just commit suicide...
I'll kill myself but not before I've had some awesome sex with a girl. Sorry but not having really done it, is fucking me up bad... I don't want to impregnate her, I just want to have done it. I've been in love, that was the best thing ever...
Anyway, about lotr. I'm loving the writing for this movie. I don't know how to dissect its deepest themes like some people can, but I see the genius in its message to mankind. The movie just comes out and says it straight to us, and I know it'll go over a kid's head, war is inevitable. It's whether we chose to seek peace or more war that makes the difference. It's up to us.
I don't give a frig about the visuals anymore, I'm too old to be impressed with fancy smancy cgi. It's hte dialogue that captivates me. It's poetic, meaning it has to be interpreted. Something some people it seems can't do. Let me say this about discussion online, I'm kind of tired of athiests crying about how not everyone wants to be perfectly logical all the time. Tough. As a grown ass man now I think you should realize that life isn't fair. All that fairytale bullshit you thought would happen as a kid, frankly isn't...
One of the things bmt taught me was that age is but a number. As a kid, you don't see it. You think all grown ups are mature adults who know what they're doing. sadly I found out that just as I am not all that mature, neither are any of the older people around me. The only thing that keeps us from completely destorying each other ironically is children. We have to put on an act of maturity in front of them. Poetic and sad at the same time, just as life is...
In addition, don't get me started on women. While in high school, I wasn't necessarily smarter than them, but I knew that you shouldn't take sex lightly. It IS a life changing event. Yet girls would FUCK around with my head as if that'd make them seem like wife material. Now what? Now they're in their 20s and don't want to get good grades anymore just as I predicted. I'm not perfect at judging people by any means or measure, but this I think i was spot on about... They need to be protected, probably from themselves, our women. Being female drives them crazy until they realize just how good it is to be female and then forget about wanting to be like men. LOL at women.
Anyway lotr's a film about one thing, hope. Let me tell you, I was what in 2001... uh around 15. Not a bad year, doing well in school, felt happy enough, got bullied to shit by the guys there, but whatever. I always had star wars to make life worth living. Then I went on aicn and they were going on and on about this Lotr shit besides any star wars news. I didn't care... wtf is this lotr ish. I mean the thing sounds like a porno title. Lord of the rings. NO Lord of the dance! I mean I'm no stranger to artsy fartsy movies and shit, but my interst in them was superficial, never cared for them.
Well I was wrong. Right around this time, harry potter came out too. The early 2000s were a great time. I was learning so much about the world of cinema and movies and honestly I was blown away by movies like the matrix etc. Kids are stupid, man, they don't know about classic cinema, everything is explosions and cgi. Films of the past had to rely solely on good writing.
What is good writing? That's for greater minds than mine to figure out. Some say yeah, you have to break words down into a mathamatical configuration, others say just write whatever the fuck comes to mind. EVERYTHING IS POLITICS. I mean, damn, some say life isn't even worth living, we should all just commit suicide...
I'll kill myself but not before I've had some awesome sex with a girl. Sorry but not having really done it, is fucking me up bad... I don't want to impregnate her, I just want to have done it. I've been in love, that was the best thing ever...
Anyway, about lotr. I'm loving the writing for this movie. I don't know how to dissect its deepest themes like some people can, but I see the genius in its message to mankind. The movie just comes out and says it straight to us, and I know it'll go over a kid's head, war is inevitable. It's whether we chose to seek peace or more war that makes the difference. It's up to us.
kkk on my ass
I realize I'm being followed by some goofy ass faction of the kkk. I know they have very smart well educated, high up there in the world members who want to keep black people down as much as possible. I also know that there are undercover white guys looking to fight their efforts. Its like in x-men...
My father is like, "don't even worry about it, nothing we can do, just enjoy your life, don't fight the white elite."
I suppose he's right. I'm nobody. and I never planned to become a celebrity, but for whatever reason, no matter where I go, I become the center of attention. I guess, nay, I know it's because I'm goddamn smart and COULD potentially be a threat to their children.
It's why king got shot. Peace is good in theory but when it comes down to who's kids will get the best lives, white folk don't play around. I'm not gonna sugar coat this shit for you, the last thing they want is for a black, asian, hispanic, indian to have more power than them.
But get over yourselves, I say. The future isn't here on earth, it's in the stars. But yeah we do have a long way to go before we reach star trek's level of civility. I'm so sorry for acting out and expressing my own hatred towards women and gays, but even white people know that blacks are just as bad as them. And around and around we go in the circle of hate.
One of the reasons I left college was that I realized it wasn't challenging me, and this money I'm spending was all part of a plan to get me to conform to rich white people's expectations of me, they need black people at corps to make them not look racist. You think I'm joking, but it's a sad truth. If we humans had it our way, we'd get rid of certain people, and in fact we do from time to time with the death penalty.
sigh, I think it's just sad, how we can't just live in peace. But that's life, a big ass fight for survival, not gonna change now, and not gonna change tomorrow.
Anyway man, let me relate something here though. You know who I'd love to marry? Alicia. I'm looking at her myspace page and I tear up a little thinking about how she's getting pounded by every guy in the world but me. But hey, that's fine. She's better off without me. I'd probably do something stupid anyway. While in the airforce, one of the incentives to graduate bmt was that they'd get me Alicia. What a pile of rubish.
first of all, it's now been 11 years since I last knew her. How in the bloody hell can you suddenly put back to gether two people after that long a time, some bullshit right there. And what is she a piece of bait for a fish? You better not think about her that way or you'll know the meaning of pain. She's a GODDESS. I love her even now and I don't even know the girl. But that was all that mattered to me back then, her, fuck school. Now everybody's like, dude, kill yourself. We want to become parents and if you're not with us then fuck off, guy, black guy...
Fair enough...
My father is like, "don't even worry about it, nothing we can do, just enjoy your life, don't fight the white elite."
I suppose he's right. I'm nobody. and I never planned to become a celebrity, but for whatever reason, no matter where I go, I become the center of attention. I guess, nay, I know it's because I'm goddamn smart and COULD potentially be a threat to their children.
It's why king got shot. Peace is good in theory but when it comes down to who's kids will get the best lives, white folk don't play around. I'm not gonna sugar coat this shit for you, the last thing they want is for a black, asian, hispanic, indian to have more power than them.
But get over yourselves, I say. The future isn't here on earth, it's in the stars. But yeah we do have a long way to go before we reach star trek's level of civility. I'm so sorry for acting out and expressing my own hatred towards women and gays, but even white people know that blacks are just as bad as them. And around and around we go in the circle of hate.
One of the reasons I left college was that I realized it wasn't challenging me, and this money I'm spending was all part of a plan to get me to conform to rich white people's expectations of me, they need black people at corps to make them not look racist. You think I'm joking, but it's a sad truth. If we humans had it our way, we'd get rid of certain people, and in fact we do from time to time with the death penalty.
sigh, I think it's just sad, how we can't just live in peace. But that's life, a big ass fight for survival, not gonna change now, and not gonna change tomorrow.
Anyway man, let me relate something here though. You know who I'd love to marry? Alicia. I'm looking at her myspace page and I tear up a little thinking about how she's getting pounded by every guy in the world but me. But hey, that's fine. She's better off without me. I'd probably do something stupid anyway. While in the airforce, one of the incentives to graduate bmt was that they'd get me Alicia. What a pile of rubish.
first of all, it's now been 11 years since I last knew her. How in the bloody hell can you suddenly put back to gether two people after that long a time, some bullshit right there. And what is she a piece of bait for a fish? You better not think about her that way or you'll know the meaning of pain. She's a GODDESS. I love her even now and I don't even know the girl. But that was all that mattered to me back then, her, fuck school. Now everybody's like, dude, kill yourself. We want to become parents and if you're not with us then fuck off, guy, black guy...
Fair enough...
Vickie6
I'm currently obsessed with a black porn star named vickie6. Warning: nude woman... http://img135.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=48468_0055_123_380lo.jpg#
I really wish I could fuck her to infinity and beyond. This is my kind of woman. She looks like me but is female. That's who I'm most attracted too I guess, other mulatto niggas. She's at least 30 too, but genetically she's got very youthful features. That's that good shit. When you don't look your age as a female, always good. And I think it's just that she's never had a kid so she's kept her baby-fat for longer.
Man am i NOT gay... I see a naked girl and I'm jizzing my pants man... and oh god yes I'd like to finally get laid. But the sad thing is that even when I joined the muthafuckin military they try to sell me sex in there as a reward for killing myself to work hard. So that's the joke huh? You abstain from sex all your life like you're told, then when opportunity comes to shoot your semen all over a girl's face and write your name on her backside, they say "gotta have a ring on her finger first, nigga."
Ain't that some bullshit. Hold on, I payed the heaaaaaaavy price of not tapping that sweeeeeeeeeeet high school girl ass that I was surrounded by on a daily basis, only to be told "Lol you're an idiot."
sigh... I don't know. At least I don't have a kid, I say. Imagine if you emptied your balls into a girl's vagina then ended up with a son or daughter at my age, which does happen... it'd be kinda ridiculous to me since I'm still thinking and feeling the same way I did as a punk kid. I feel, not necessarily know, that a man is supposed to BLOOM into an actual man at some point. Then he becomes the anti-child. Doesn't play with toys anymore but instead makes them, shit like that... Yeah I'd like to be like that.
I really wish I could fuck her to infinity and beyond. This is my kind of woman. She looks like me but is female. That's who I'm most attracted too I guess, other mulatto niggas. She's at least 30 too, but genetically she's got very youthful features. That's that good shit. When you don't look your age as a female, always good. And I think it's just that she's never had a kid so she's kept her baby-fat for longer.
Man am i NOT gay... I see a naked girl and I'm jizzing my pants man... and oh god yes I'd like to finally get laid. But the sad thing is that even when I joined the muthafuckin military they try to sell me sex in there as a reward for killing myself to work hard. So that's the joke huh? You abstain from sex all your life like you're told, then when opportunity comes to shoot your semen all over a girl's face and write your name on her backside, they say "gotta have a ring on her finger first, nigga."
Ain't that some bullshit. Hold on, I payed the heaaaaaaavy price of not tapping that sweeeeeeeeeeet high school girl ass that I was surrounded by on a daily basis, only to be told "Lol you're an idiot."
sigh... I don't know. At least I don't have a kid, I say. Imagine if you emptied your balls into a girl's vagina then ended up with a son or daughter at my age, which does happen... it'd be kinda ridiculous to me since I'm still thinking and feeling the same way I did as a punk kid. I feel, not necessarily know, that a man is supposed to BLOOM into an actual man at some point. Then he becomes the anti-child. Doesn't play with toys anymore but instead makes them, shit like that... Yeah I'd like to be like that.
Hitler
I'm for whatever reason thinking about hitler today. Who was hitler? A genius. After experiencing internet warfare I have no doubt that the holocaust happened and continues to happen in places all over the world. People are big children and if pushed, they'll kill each other by the millions I realize. Hell there are people ready to kill me right now because they don't like me, period. I mean, its not like I give a shit cuz I know I have my rights under the law to be a free american, but then they'll pull out the old "you're an adult so we can piss on you" excuse. I'm an adult with no criminal record, a high school diploma, college credits, and now a military background, so fuck with me if you think that's wise.
Anyway, like I said, hitler fascinates me. I learned a while back that politics is a game of words, falsifying the truth to gain certain advantages. You think the media reports every story as it happened? Nope. They'll gladly change things to fit their shareholder's interests. And if you cross them or cross any corporation, you'll get eaten alive. That's why I'm keeping my head in the sand online from now on. Ain't going to even try discussing shit anymore like a civilized person. That's not how this world works.
Hitler must have come to the same conclusion. He knew life was a struggle for superiority, not a "everybody wins, la la la, happiness and flowers" thing. It's a bunch of people seeking power and security, like in star wars. If you really study politics and warfare, you'll truly understand how fucked up we humans are in our search for some kind of fair-ground. Like they can really kill you if you speak against the government in china or somewhere, they're that crazy.
It bust my balls every day thinking about what to do in the next 5 years or 10. I got time to kill but at the same time my addiction to porn is an ever present unyielding problem. I know this much, I can learn anything at an incredibly fast pace if I really want to. The next step will be to divise a mission plan to create like some kind of, I know it's silly, but time travel divice. Einstein was trying to figure it out, but then he died. If you really try to understand the entire working of the universe, it can drive you insane though. That's all mathematics is, finding truth. The problem that inherently occurs is that we humans tend to seek chaos rather than uniformity or rather stability and reason.
I used to read on chud the back and forth debates between those guys, fucking smart guys too, talking about religion vs science. Honestly fuck religion. Give me a break. I wouldn't be using this computer right now if people still believed in magic.
Still as an artist I appreciate its beauty, its simple elegance, and how much it motivates us humans to excel even in the most insurmountable situations.
so thinking about it today. Hitler was a guy who knew his P's and Q's well enough to convince millions of people to go die and kill each other, what a guy. Genius is what it is, in that some people are born to be the best, whether it be best at helping people or best and destroying them. He was the best at uniting his men and developing a system that would ensure that only blond blue eyed white people would live the best lives.
He was probably gay.
Anyway, like I said, hitler fascinates me. I learned a while back that politics is a game of words, falsifying the truth to gain certain advantages. You think the media reports every story as it happened? Nope. They'll gladly change things to fit their shareholder's interests. And if you cross them or cross any corporation, you'll get eaten alive. That's why I'm keeping my head in the sand online from now on. Ain't going to even try discussing shit anymore like a civilized person. That's not how this world works.
Hitler must have come to the same conclusion. He knew life was a struggle for superiority, not a "everybody wins, la la la, happiness and flowers" thing. It's a bunch of people seeking power and security, like in star wars. If you really study politics and warfare, you'll truly understand how fucked up we humans are in our search for some kind of fair-ground. Like they can really kill you if you speak against the government in china or somewhere, they're that crazy.
It bust my balls every day thinking about what to do in the next 5 years or 10. I got time to kill but at the same time my addiction to porn is an ever present unyielding problem. I know this much, I can learn anything at an incredibly fast pace if I really want to. The next step will be to divise a mission plan to create like some kind of, I know it's silly, but time travel divice. Einstein was trying to figure it out, but then he died. If you really try to understand the entire working of the universe, it can drive you insane though. That's all mathematics is, finding truth. The problem that inherently occurs is that we humans tend to seek chaos rather than uniformity or rather stability and reason.
I used to read on chud the back and forth debates between those guys, fucking smart guys too, talking about religion vs science. Honestly fuck religion. Give me a break. I wouldn't be using this computer right now if people still believed in magic.
Still as an artist I appreciate its beauty, its simple elegance, and how much it motivates us humans to excel even in the most insurmountable situations.
so thinking about it today. Hitler was a guy who knew his P's and Q's well enough to convince millions of people to go die and kill each other, what a guy. Genius is what it is, in that some people are born to be the best, whether it be best at helping people or best and destroying them. He was the best at uniting his men and developing a system that would ensure that only blond blue eyed white people would live the best lives.
He was probably gay.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Nation at War
Talkin to my sister today about my current mental state. Shiiiit. One minute she's all gung-ho about me dying in iraq, then the next she's like you're crazy because you don't have any friends and no girlfriend or anything going on.
That's ok with me. Shit, I was raised to be me, a tough motherfucker who doesn't need people. I'm a tool of the government. Born for war. I wake up every day thinking about challenging myself. Gov's been watching me since i was in diapers. I'm part of an affirmative action program I guess... Kids, school's meaningless once you get out into the real world. No one cares. Someone will tell you how to live your life and that'll be the end of it.
About life... I was so close to dying in the military it really woke me up to how short our time here on earth is and the reasons why we have an american caste system and the chain of command, we just don't have the time to deal with each other.
And it's why we're at war right now. America pissed somebody off, they hit us back, and now we're putting their asses in place I guess.
This is stupid though. While in bmt I questioned the war, and no one down there would listen to me. Sad but true, i was just a number, an 'it' as they called me. War is all a numbers game to these assholes. And who am I to go up against very powerful white folk? Huh? A Nobody... I don't know what to feel really as I grow older and realize I'm at a dissadvantage because of my african origin.
I do this thing where I try to plan out EVERYTHING I do before doing it, so I don't make any rash decision. Like honestly, what girl am I going to impregnate as velequette said? That was a shock to me because I never thought about actually making a kid, I just thought about having a pleasurable sexual encounter, nothing more, but yeah, sex is for IMMORTALITY. Ain't no way people going to take thaaaat lightly. So young women are losing their minds as they get older realizing the end is near and they have no way back once they hit a certain age. The question to me is whether I want to just live a ho-hum life then poof die, or have children and become one of those guys who has to deal with their bullshit.
Messes me up thinking about it.
That's ok with me. Shit, I was raised to be me, a tough motherfucker who doesn't need people. I'm a tool of the government. Born for war. I wake up every day thinking about challenging myself. Gov's been watching me since i was in diapers. I'm part of an affirmative action program I guess... Kids, school's meaningless once you get out into the real world. No one cares. Someone will tell you how to live your life and that'll be the end of it.
About life... I was so close to dying in the military it really woke me up to how short our time here on earth is and the reasons why we have an american caste system and the chain of command, we just don't have the time to deal with each other.
And it's why we're at war right now. America pissed somebody off, they hit us back, and now we're putting their asses in place I guess.
This is stupid though. While in bmt I questioned the war, and no one down there would listen to me. Sad but true, i was just a number, an 'it' as they called me. War is all a numbers game to these assholes. And who am I to go up against very powerful white folk? Huh? A Nobody... I don't know what to feel really as I grow older and realize I'm at a dissadvantage because of my african origin.
I do this thing where I try to plan out EVERYTHING I do before doing it, so I don't make any rash decision. Like honestly, what girl am I going to impregnate as velequette said? That was a shock to me because I never thought about actually making a kid, I just thought about having a pleasurable sexual encounter, nothing more, but yeah, sex is for IMMORTALITY. Ain't no way people going to take thaaaat lightly. So young women are losing their minds as they get older realizing the end is near and they have no way back once they hit a certain age. The question to me is whether I want to just live a ho-hum life then poof die, or have children and become one of those guys who has to deal with their bullshit.
Messes me up thinking about it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Grown ass men
I feel different as I age. My beard is growing fuller now at 23, 2 years after it started growing. My skin is rougher, my penis is bigger, I look at my hands and they're much fuller. A man's prime age is 25, I've read, then he goes down hill bit by bit. I don't know. The media is youth-centric all the time. People my age play teens in high school, granted I do look very young for my age, but I could be dead in iraq right now technically. I see real high school teens and they piss me off just as much as they did back then, but their bodies are magnificent, tight, no signs of old age. It's kind of beautiful to marvel at their youth, of which they have no real acknowledgment yet...
I realize now that the older people get the more annoyed with young people they become. I feel their pain. When i go play b-ball the kids there are just insanely stupid. I can teach them but they don't care. One kid, cute as hell, kept talking about how terrible he was at basketball. Don't let that stop you son. Keep at it. I know how to do shit with a ball and hoop that I learned through sheer will power.
Then there's the leader kids. I know there's always an alpha male in a group of males who's the most fearless. The only way for the alpha to be beaten is if another one kicks his ass out of the spotlight and shames him. Same thing happens every where. Men butt heads and of course the winner takes the prize. It's like that scene in gladiator where the guy talks about how to win your freedom. "You kill me. And him, and him, and a hundred more... then, when there's no one left to fight, you're free." Warriors are born to fight and dominate each other. That's why the internet's pissed at me, I possess some alpha male characteristics but I am a cowardly lion when I'm pressed to that point. Once people piss on you in public it's hard to shake it, but fuck it man, fuck it. Don't let people push you around, get yo shit, and go home and fuck your wife.
I realize now that the older people get the more annoyed with young people they become. I feel their pain. When i go play b-ball the kids there are just insanely stupid. I can teach them but they don't care. One kid, cute as hell, kept talking about how terrible he was at basketball. Don't let that stop you son. Keep at it. I know how to do shit with a ball and hoop that I learned through sheer will power.
Then there's the leader kids. I know there's always an alpha male in a group of males who's the most fearless. The only way for the alpha to be beaten is if another one kicks his ass out of the spotlight and shames him. Same thing happens every where. Men butt heads and of course the winner takes the prize. It's like that scene in gladiator where the guy talks about how to win your freedom. "You kill me. And him, and him, and a hundred more... then, when there's no one left to fight, you're free." Warriors are born to fight and dominate each other. That's why the internet's pissed at me, I possess some alpha male characteristics but I am a cowardly lion when I'm pressed to that point. Once people piss on you in public it's hard to shake it, but fuck it man, fuck it. Don't let people push you around, get yo shit, and go home and fuck your wife.
Security guard Simms
I'm so going to be a security guard, rent a cop, whatever. I've realized that the only way into a girl's butt cheeks is to earn a decent pay check, sad but true. Yeah even high school girls won't look at you unless you got money.
Poor kids don't know this. I saw a little boy in models. I felt sorry for him really. All he is is a worker bee to some corporation somewhere.
Poor kids don't know this. I saw a little boy in models. I felt sorry for him really. All he is is a worker bee to some corporation somewhere.
Abstain Pain
I've quit masturbating. It's like a drug, like cigarrettes. Fucking joke, cigs. They sell that shit to people because they know it's addicting, sad but true, then they have a whole industry now based on quitting it. Why not just make it illegal? Oh yeah, cuz it's a billion dollar industry.
Anyway I'm extremely fucked up.
You know what's funny about this world? People really do wish DEATH to each other. I grew up full of hope and love and peace messages, about there being a bright side to life. But I've discovered it's very grim. White people will hate me till my dying day because they're scared I'll rape their daughters. I mean, yeah they're gorgeous, but I respect women too much to even go that far and I don't want children, so don't worry about it.
There are so many kinds of people in this world, I can't get my head around them all... Some people can't do what I can do. Some people are superior to me. Where to draw the line in the sand with this, I do not know... I just know that they don't want a wacky black dude running his mouth as they deal with the world's many issues. Back in high school a white woman recommended black colleges to me, full on racism to my 17 year old ass. I realize now that she just didn't want me getting near white girls... It's legal segregation I guess. Not allowed on hs level but at college it's fair game. Then in the mil, they have black people on staff but they're most likely bought, the white elite does this "head negro" thing where they train up a black guy to a certain level and use him as their affirmative action hire. That was suppooooosed to be me too but I didn't want to get married to one of their black airforce girls so they couldn't give me or her some kind of treat for playing their game.
Then there's colleges. I'm tired of school, I'd like to work at retail or whatever instead, but it seems like no matter where I go the whole virgin thing comes up as a problem. You have to pick a side gay or straight and women who are young and all that will ruthlessly label you a fag if you're not raping them like they want. Oh you think I'm joking? Girls are worse than men when it comes to wanting sex. Look on dailymotion, that's right, that's your sweet innocent daughter showing every random pedophile online her 16 year old tits. I mean, it's natural for women to seek attention, so whatever, but I'm just lost on what to do when I'm at an age where i SHOULD be having some great sex, but society is telling me to wait until i'm married, but that's just the marriage business talking...
EVERYTHING is business and politics. If i didn't have SOME college in me, I'd never be able to spot when people were trying to manipulate me psychologically. But that's what they teach you at college, how to scramble a niggas brain with words. Too bad they missed the part where women would fuck the college system from the inside out and turn it against males. But who cares right? Men are supposed to take a bullet for females. That's equal...
I'm being pulled in every direction. Turn gay. Get married. Get married or we'll call you gay. Go to school, you're just a kid for now, enjoy being young. Go get a job, you're a grown man already, grow up and work hard for a living.
That's why I know now more than every why there are people in this world who don't give a fuck about anyone around them. EVERYBODY wants you to fit their perfect vision of life.
That's the real world.
Anyway I'm extremely fucked up.
You know what's funny about this world? People really do wish DEATH to each other. I grew up full of hope and love and peace messages, about there being a bright side to life. But I've discovered it's very grim. White people will hate me till my dying day because they're scared I'll rape their daughters. I mean, yeah they're gorgeous, but I respect women too much to even go that far and I don't want children, so don't worry about it.
There are so many kinds of people in this world, I can't get my head around them all... Some people can't do what I can do. Some people are superior to me. Where to draw the line in the sand with this, I do not know... I just know that they don't want a wacky black dude running his mouth as they deal with the world's many issues. Back in high school a white woman recommended black colleges to me, full on racism to my 17 year old ass. I realize now that she just didn't want me getting near white girls... It's legal segregation I guess. Not allowed on hs level but at college it's fair game. Then in the mil, they have black people on staff but they're most likely bought, the white elite does this "head negro" thing where they train up a black guy to a certain level and use him as their affirmative action hire. That was suppooooosed to be me too but I didn't want to get married to one of their black airforce girls so they couldn't give me or her some kind of treat for playing their game.
Then there's colleges. I'm tired of school, I'd like to work at retail or whatever instead, but it seems like no matter where I go the whole virgin thing comes up as a problem. You have to pick a side gay or straight and women who are young and all that will ruthlessly label you a fag if you're not raping them like they want. Oh you think I'm joking? Girls are worse than men when it comes to wanting sex. Look on dailymotion, that's right, that's your sweet innocent daughter showing every random pedophile online her 16 year old tits. I mean, it's natural for women to seek attention, so whatever, but I'm just lost on what to do when I'm at an age where i SHOULD be having some great sex, but society is telling me to wait until i'm married, but that's just the marriage business talking...
EVERYTHING is business and politics. If i didn't have SOME college in me, I'd never be able to spot when people were trying to manipulate me psychologically. But that's what they teach you at college, how to scramble a niggas brain with words. Too bad they missed the part where women would fuck the college system from the inside out and turn it against males. But who cares right? Men are supposed to take a bullet for females. That's equal...
I'm being pulled in every direction. Turn gay. Get married. Get married or we'll call you gay. Go to school, you're just a kid for now, enjoy being young. Go get a job, you're a grown man already, grow up and work hard for a living.
That's why I know now more than every why there are people in this world who don't give a fuck about anyone around them. EVERYBODY wants you to fit their perfect vision of life.
That's the real world.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Joining the Army part 2
Here's a tough decision. I don't even think it's worth imparting online really since I really have more enemies than friends on the internet, but I'm so confused and just need to put my thoughts out in some form or whatever. I know my destiny is to be in the military, never had anything else planned, but I really don't give a shit about killing people who didn't start nuthin with me. And I'm afraid that if I join again they'll just push me through a lot of unbelievable garbage like last time, and try to psychologically unravel me bit by bit again. that's what they won't tell you when you're a kid, that as an adult male, you're a piece of meat to people. Nevermind what "rights" you think you have, truth is, this society functions on mob rule just like it always has. Whoever has the most money and friends in respectable positions, makes the rules.
So imagine being a young black male without a college degree going up against a world that believes it's ok to crush and grind you even if you're a decent person. Damn it's a funny world.
I think back to college and it amazes me to realize it was all an elaborate hoax, just another military training facility where a bunch of assholes get paid to push you to your limits intellectually while you struggle to make sense of sex. And then when you get out, the joke's on you because most people could care less what degree you have, can you suck their dick for money?
If kids are reading this, I hope you think for yourselves when you get older. People like me, adults, we're just big teenagers, nothing more, nothing less. All those idiots you hated in high school are just going to get older, not wiser.
So imagine being a young black male without a college degree going up against a world that believes it's ok to crush and grind you even if you're a decent person. Damn it's a funny world.
I think back to college and it amazes me to realize it was all an elaborate hoax, just another military training facility where a bunch of assholes get paid to push you to your limits intellectually while you struggle to make sense of sex. And then when you get out, the joke's on you because most people could care less what degree you have, can you suck their dick for money?
If kids are reading this, I hope you think for yourselves when you get older. People like me, adults, we're just big teenagers, nothing more, nothing less. All those idiots you hated in high school are just going to get older, not wiser.
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