Shit

So I busted a nut today. i look down at my kids and it's amazing, their just white ooze. so that's how we all begin, huh.

I'll be damned though. I never really thought about actually being capable of creating new life. It's sad to think that I'm doing nothing more than the same thing some rat in a sewer does though, fuck and make kids, then his own kids make kids, and on and on and on.

I'm tired of being so hopelessly addicted to porn though. It's not my personal mission in life to become a parent.

I knew back in hs that most of the dudes around me would some day become pre-occupied solely with parenthood instead of any possible accomplishments like creating a time travel device like I planned to do. The mission is still there for me.

i just need to hang on a while longer and stop the porn. it's just that there's shit going on around me, people who want to force me to impregnate a bitch or they'll kick my ass, I don't get it... you know how much kids cost? And I will never brng a child into this horrid world full of stupidity and very human fallacies. I sometimes think that I should be dead already but I continue to linger in this world without purpose.

I'm already dead really. A sad fact of life is that the person you were at 10, dissapears once you hit puberty. I remember my old self only as a vague memory. I was truly a mini-genius. I felt a deep need to be the best. Nothing bothered me either, which is a mark of childhood, you feel great prettymuch everyday due to not having sexual urges. Your endorphins must be at max or something. Then you die. All of that goes away and you lose all interest in anything but girls.

Which is both good and bad...