Damn is this hard. I've been through hell in my life that I'm proud of myself for overcoming. I've gotten beaten up, I've studied hard and passed tests, I've had to endure weeks of rigorous course works that I only realize now was completely pointless since I'm just another insignificant worker bee after all that bullshit, I've been raised by idiots, somehow came through basic military training, but ABOVE IT ALL, the one thing that I cannot conquer is porn.
And it hurts... it physically hurts to stop getting my fix.
I read and read and read constantly about other people trying to quit too. Some guy has a blog and chronicles his efforts to live a clean life free of masturbation. This is a complex issue since some people argue that you can't quit, others that you can, it's both a blessing and a curse. I'm kind of glad that I have the potential to make kids, but I'd like to choose to turn off the faucet at some point if you know what I'm saying...
I can't think straight. I can't even remember things that were once clear in my mind, now they exist as vague shadows.
There must be a better side of life than this.
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