I'm going places guys and gals. Woooo I got a call from my sargent, seems like there's hope left for me. I can feel slightly happy inside from the thought of it. My entire spirit is dependent on me fullfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a military man. I don't know where I'll go after that but by God I will do everything within my power If I get in to give back to society, help the little guy, all that stuff. I will not stray from that view point. I will do it. I've done a lot of wrong, and I'm thinking the best way to rectify it is to make my life worth something more than what I do now which is put mail on conveyor belts at JFK. Oh well, yanno, since I'll have enough money to buy a car, so whatever.
sigh though. I'm so lost still. I'm depressed, lonely, a little psychotic, fearful, suicidal, just a mess. I have to struggle to keep finding a reason to live every day. What the hell am I here for anyway? i should be dead. But I'm not... weird.
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